Archive for the ‘friends’ Category
I Hate Telemarketers…
But I’m not as creative as this guy.
Most creative thing I’ve ever done was try and get the annoying fuckers to have phone sex with me. Now, granted, that did get them to stop calling me … most of them. Read the rest of this entry »
We are but whores
Jesse, our fantabulous artist, has come up with some fun artwork to promote the site.
If you love us and have a corner of the web you call your own, please pimp us!
Copying the code in the little boxes will give the results shown above each box.
If you use any of it, let us know and maybe, just maybe, we will give you a kiss. Read the rest of this entry »
I like things
I don’t want candy, I need candy,
and when you need something it’s a responsibility!
-Meatwad – ATHF
I like things.
I especially like these things.
You should probably buy them for me. You know you want to.
You should also send me naked pictures of yourself. Or, if you’ve not yet reached the age of majority, send naked pictures of your father. Sneak into the bathroom when he’s showering. He’ll never know.
No? Selfish, aren’t you?
At least you should buy this, for yourself:
Might as well preorder it, since you’ll be buying it anyway.
Preorders help bands more than you may know.
16volt are good people, and the music will fuck you up.
-bagel
Ration Reality Comics: Dotty’s Mom, fixed
You bitch, we listen.
The last comic we posted was a bit too hard to read for some folks, especially when sized down for sharing. We’re still learnin’ here folks.
Our awesomful artist, Jesse Custer, has resized to 700×233, and changed the font.
As to not confuse hotlinkers with the new size, we’ve left the original alone (here), and fixed up a whole spankin new post for ya.
We met Dotty briefly in our last comic. Now we see her again, and meet both her mom and her next door neighbor Rocky.
Share code: To share this picture with the world, copy the code in the box, paste it into blogs, forums, myspace, ect.
–blogarama– –technorati– –del.icio.us– –digg it!–
Ration Reality Comics: Dotty’s Mom Has Got It Goin’ On!
We met Dotty briefly in our last comic. Now we see her again, and meet both her mom and her next door neighbor Rocky.
Share code: To share this picture with the world, copy the code in the box, paste it into blogs, forums, myspace, ect.
–blogarama– –technorati– –del.icio.us– –digg it!–
Advice from Discouragement Kitten
One of my favorite bloggers, Discouragement Kitten, has been kind enough to lend us the use of one of her blog entries. If you leave some comments, she might lend us another!
-bagel
Incomprehensible Cum Guzzling Hotard
Question:
Dear DK,
I was with this cocksucker, for almost a year. Would of bet my life that I was the only one he was fucking. Until, a few months ago. He moved, got his own place (he has some serious co-dependency issues) then all of a sudden the baby’s mama drama started. Out of nowhere this bitch starts bringing the kids for the weekend, which if you couldn’t guess she stays with them. The cocksucker tried to lie about the whole situation to begin with, but me being the crazy bitch that I am, did a drive by, he was caught, so he tried a new approach, telling me that she was coming. I fell for the cocksucker’s lies for a while.
Go team us!
Ok, kids. We’re the new kids on the blog block, and Go Ogle is still shitting itself over our domain change. Still, our stats show some interesting searches which have led readers to us. Here are a few for which we are the number one result:
- radiohead+ginsberg+sodomy
If you were the person who did that search, please, just tell me, WTF were you trying to find?! - Communal baths – Germany
Google summary’s placement of the ellipses makes the article far more interesting than it is. Perhaps the engine could edit for us? - share lolcats on myspace
Being number 2 is awesome. Being numbers 1 & 2 is awesomer! Being above icanhascheezburger.com makes me kinda sad. We loves cheez! - Nazism illegal in germany
It is, ya know - you’re worthless poems
Dear searcher: Did you mean “your”, or are you calling me a verse without value? Either way, really. Just curious. - “heidi montag” “swinging by her ankles”
We are the only result for this one. We got the scoop, bitches! - bad high school poetry metaphors
And there’s more where that came from, baby! - literacy critique on J.D. Salinger
Where Salinger is involved, I must say that ‘literacy’ is not the wrong word. Catcher is definitely *not* ‘literary’. - Hanuka music torrents
In Jesus we trust. All others we pirate. - my tapes, “let me show you them”
We’re actually both the top 1 and top 2! Go team us!
A new Ration Reality comic strip will be posted tomorrow. You should probably skip work and stay home, repeatedly refreshing our site, and be the first to see it.
-bagel
One of these superfriends is lying
Can you spot the liar?
News that matters:
icanhascheezburger.com has finally released The Cheezburger Factory!!
Jesse and my Bagelicious self were proud to be part of the beta testing group.
In the words of our fearless cheezleader:
We created a little tool to submit photos directly to ICHC.We call it The Cheezburger Factory.
We had a awesome team of private beta testers (Team 42) who provided a lot of useful feedback.
The private beta is now opened up to the public.
So go make your own lolcats! More importantly, dig through the archives and vote for ours!
-bagel
Late Breaking News:
We are the top google result for Communal baths – Germany
Hey Young World – Slick Rick The Ruler
Indeed I am the one and lonely J. Eugenius Wilson. I like snakes. I’m 32. I’m a Cap. I love to love to love love…
None of that is true. Except the two in the middle. The truth is I’m evil. I’m habitually sarcastic, cynical and just plain mad.
I’m a Musico, as they say in Mejico. I’m double jointed. I’m a DJ. I’m DJ Double Jointed. I do Bat Mitzvahs. Exclusively.
I live in the greatly over-rated northwest. Don’t come here. It smells funny. Like burnt oatmeal cookies.
I’m under exclusive contract to Ration Reality.
We’re like Foreigner. But way less sucky. Despite what your hipster fuck friends might say…
I love you all like every good Jewish boy loves his mother… angrily.
-Jody Eugenius Wilson
RationReality: The final domain
I am now a we and we have a new domain!
The former url bagelofeverything.wordpress.com will still get you here, but updating your bookmarks and links to the new url will help us tons and tons. I promise we probably won’t move again.
We’ll be changing everything around over the weekend, so expect an extra bit of weirdness.
Why the change?
If anyone cared, that’s what I’d expect them to ask.
I, your all encompassing bread product, have teamed up with three of the most intelligent, funniest, weirdest men I know.
Soylent Ape, a smooth-talkin, pimp-walkin rock critic with a stack of business degrees.
Jesse Custer, space-opera writin’, cyberart outlaw.
Jody Eugenius Wilson, a kosher, recording scientist who is not allowed, by law, to own a gun.
We now have our very own comic!
The first strips are nearly ready and will be posted soon.
So our humor sweatshop is now fully staffed, and will soon begin cranking out its low quality comedy knockoffs for export up your interwebs.
– the bagel of everything
Ration Reality 