Ration Reality

hyperbolic excellence

Archive for the ‘art’ Category

Fernando Botero, Painter of Retards

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An artist is attracted to certain kinds of form without knowing why. You adopt a position intuitively; only later do you attempt to rationalize or even justify it. – Fernando Botero, 1932-20??

Fernando Botero Angulo is totally famous — so famous, in fact, he calls himself “the most Colombian of Colombian artists”. He’s so proud of his Colombian heritage, he dropped his last name and moved to France! In 2005, he gained public recognition by exploiting the Abu Ghraib slumberparty.  I love his art in a way that makes me a bad person.

He paints stocky people with large foreheads (aka fivehead), beady eyes, and blank expressions.  Now, I’m not saying he’s obsessed with Down’s Syndrome. I’m just strongly suggesting it. Read the rest of this entry »


Written by The Bagel of Everything

May 19, 2008 at 1:43 am

Books that Exist: The Shit of God

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Written by The Bagel of Everything

March 28, 2008 at 2:29 am

Sleepy, Sneezy, Grumpy, Nazi, and Walt

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 A Norwegian museum directer has found 4 sketches of Disney characters, signed AH. The man says the writing matches handwriting samples of Adolf Hitler; He further claims that Hitler worked for Disney. Did Hitler doodle Pinocchio?

This story sounds like a gag from the pages of The Onion, but it’s true — and the evidence that they are works of Hitler’s evil hand is compelling: Read the rest of this entry »

Written by The Bagel of Everything

February 26, 2008 at 10:25 am

Posted in art, disney, hitler, news, world

Lame Secrets

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“I give handjobs for money, but I’d do it for free”

“I married a black woman to prove I’m not racist”

“I’m sleeping with my son’s wife” 

Admit it, you love PostSecret. You read it everyday. You wish you had a dirty little secret to share. Most people just aren’t that interesting. For many of us, that’s our biggest secret.

“I’m normal”

Good luck getting that on the front page. Fear not, my boring friends. We here at RationReality believe you are just as worthy of voyeurism as those filthy sin-mongers. To that end, we present: Lame Secrets.

I had soup today. (thx, anonymous contributor) Read the rest of this entry »

Written by The Bagel of Everything

February 18, 2008 at 11:53 am

February Band of the Month: Six String Sonics

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ЯR   February’s Official Band: Six String Sonics, The   ЯR  


One day, guitarist/producer Gil Kuno woke up, looked at a guitar and thought to himself, “This instrument is far too conventional” and set himself to change it.

Ultimately, he arrived at the solution: instead of one player with a six-string guitar, he’d arrange to have six players, each with his/her own single-string guitar, tuned in the same configuration as a standard electric guitar. This results in weird, disjointed tunes that are much less chord-driven and packed with odd, layered melodic runs. Now, most musical revolutionaries would be satisfied with creating music quirky enough to make Kraftwerk say, “Damn, dude!”. However, this wasn’t enough for Gil Kuno. In order to make the project even more bizarre, he’d grab members of some of Japan’s biggest alternative/avant garde bands to play the instruments (which include the 6 1-string guitars, electronic drums and a two-story electric bass which requires 2 people to play). Not weird enough for you yet? Well, it wasn’t for Kuno, either… Read the rest of this entry »

Written by Soylent Ape

February 14, 2008 at 12:28 pm

The Circumcision of Jesus

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The circumcision of Jesus
Loltheist made me do it. They’re a bad influence on my artistic integrities!

Related posts: Ode to My Husband’s Missing Foreskin – All your Lego are belong to Jesus

Written by The Bagel of Everything

January 10, 2008 at 5:03 am

Art or Porn: Can’t it be both?

with 15 comments

We encourage our children to appreciate art. We drag them to smelly old museums, make them sit in classrooms studying art history, and beat them over the head with this high-brow culture. We require proof of age for the purchase of pornographic material. We are thrilled when a new art museum opens in our neighborhood, but do not permit titty-bars within range of schools or churches.

As a culture, we are so ashamed of our pornographic habit, that we put such works in a lower class, separate from art. We argue over what is art and what is porn. We write papers defining the boundaries.


I am a woman. I love looking at the nude human form. I enjoy watching sexually explicit acts. I am not ashamed. I like to think of it as God’s Art.

Art is supposed to make us feel something, get a reaction from is. Is it not?

My Credentials:
I have none. I was a hard-sci major, and know nothing of art. I shall use the following naked pictures to distract you from my ignorance. Read the rest of this entry »

Written by The Bagel of Everything

November 28, 2007 at 11:49 am