Ration Reality

hyperbolic excellence

Archive for the ‘wtf’ Category

Guide to Genital Play and Torment

with 36 comments

family jewels cover As an angry feminist, I love kicking men in the balls and pricking their scrotes with rusty pins. It doesn’t turn me on, but it sure makes me happy. Thanks to the magic of the internets, I’ve discovered something wondrous: there are men who not only enjoy such treatment, but will pay dearly for it! 

To prove to myself this wasn’t just internet lore, I went in search of hardcopy evidence. There is a damned fine mess of books out there on the subject; I think Family Jewels: A Guide to Male Genital Play & Torment is the one for me. Unfortunately, I was able to dig up precious little information about this book.

Here’s what the publisher has to say about it: Read the rest of this entry »


Written by The Bagel of Everything

May 9, 2008 at 2:47 am

Vagina Power vs. Gay Boys

with 136 comments

♫ They’ll suck a dick up
til they hiccup
for a fee ♪
-Alexyss K Tylor

Warning to Gay Boys

It’s long, but it’s worth it. She gets more outrageous as she goes. I especially love how she tries to be erudite, between her fits of “goddamn!” and various ghettoness. If this were a skit, I’d likely be offended. Somehow, her earnestness makes it okay. Check our her websiteYouTube, and MySpace.  Or just give her a call.
I want her to be my new best friend.
Addendum: This one is even better. I wish I’d seen it first. 03:50 – 04:05 nearly killed me.

Related posts: Lesbian Gang Rapists! – Prostitution Solution – Word of the Week: Medibation

Written by The Bagel of Everything

May 1, 2008 at 3:03 pm

The Pop-Up Kama Sutra

with 25 comments

Written by The Bagel of Everything

April 15, 2008 at 10:29 am

Love Carrots

with 57 comments

Love Carrots and Other Vegetables is a photo blog about loveable mutant veggies, coupled with clever observations. Proving once more the internet rule: once you see it, you can’t unsee it.

Don’t fret, yam-munchers — They got vaginas too …

Read the rest of this entry »

Written by The Bagel of Everything

April 9, 2008 at 1:24 pm

Books that Exist: The Shit of God

with 111 comments

Written by The Bagel of Everything

March 28, 2008 at 2:29 am

Books that Exist: Rejuvenation and Unveiled Hidden Phenix

with 28 comments


Rejuvenation and Unveiled Hidden Phenix:
Carlos Castaneda Shamanism Plus Alpha After His Death

(Yes, that’s Phenix. WTF is a phenix? Is that anything like a phoenix?)

 Hiroyuki Nishigaki is the author of four books in Japanese, including How to Attain Silent Knowledge. A female inorganic ally gave the author the ability of space travel at age of 10 and 56. His first space travel was at the age of 56.

Check out these excerpts:  Read the rest of this entry »

Written by The Bagel of Everything

March 8, 2008 at 10:02 pm

Why does my room smell so bad?

with 27 comments

Dear Cat,

My bedroom doesn’t smell badly enough. I’d really like it if you could find time to defecate next to my bed more often. Also, please be sure to scratch in the litter real loud while I’m sleeping, if you’d be so kind. To facilitate this, I’ve bought you a lovely nightstand-cum-litterbox.

Your loyal servant,

Bagel Read the rest of this entry »

Written by The Bagel of Everything

February 12, 2008 at 7:57 am

Posted in amazon, gifts, pets, shopping, wtf