Ration Reality

hyperbolic excellence

Archive for the ‘pets’ Category

Autofellatio Kitten Loves You

with 7 comments

Art is the gift of God, and must be used unto his glory.
– Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Auto-Fellatio Kitten Loves You
♥ Autofellatio Kitten loves you. ♥

Related posts:  Happy fun time w/ Charlie Manson – Inappropriate Clipart – My shit’s on random

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Written by The Bagel of Everything

May 11, 2008 at 8:30 pm

Santa Claus: He’s Evil Now

with 12 comments

I don’t have anything interesting to say today, so here are some pictures of my dog being strangled by Sandy Paws.

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Written by The Bagel of Everything

May 7, 2008 at 5:10 pm

The Doggie-Style Diet

with 20 comments

Blogging every day has decimated my creativity. While I await the return of last year’s burning inspiration, I’ve hotwired the wayback machine, in search of things I wrote before RationReality.

In ’02, I began playing on HalfBakery.com — a site where you present your ideas that could almost (but not quite) solve important problems — under the name Skyloo. You might also recognize the nick from pre-y2k Undernet.  I mostly lurked on HB, but I did write a few things. This was my fave: Read the rest of this entry »

Written by The Bagel of Everything

March 19, 2008 at 2:58 am

Why does my room smell so bad?

with 27 comments

Dear Cat,

My bedroom doesn’t smell badly enough. I’d really like it if you could find time to defecate next to my bed more often. Also, please be sure to scratch in the litter real loud while I’m sleeping, if you’d be so kind. To facilitate this, I’ve bought you a lovely nightstand-cum-litterbox.

Your loyal servant,

Bagel Read the rest of this entry »

Written by The Bagel of Everything

February 12, 2008 at 7:57 am

Posted in amazon, gifts, pets, shopping, wtf

Where is your God now, poop lady?

with 39 comments

mine jebus were stoltJanuary 17, Somewhere in Michigan:

Jean Mansel says her husband “got a phone call in a real graspy voice, over the phone, saying check your mailbox.”

Naturally, she ran right out and opened the mailbox, where she didn’t find a bomb– that wouldn’t be nearly as funny as the letter she did find :

We are holding Jesus ransom until you clean up the poopie from your wieners and trust us we see you take your wieners for long walks w/out picking up their poopie in our yards. This has upset us dearly so please clean up all the weiner poopie, if you want to see Jesus unharmed.

Sincerely,
Lindy Lane Residents

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Written by The Bagel of Everything

February 3, 2008 at 11:50 pm

Posted in crime, jesus, michigan, news, pets

Lolkill, the holiday edition

with 5 comments

Written by The Bagel of Everything

December 18, 2007 at 9:16 am

Dog Toy or Sex Toy

with 26 comments

Let’s play a game, shall we?

I’ve gathered some photos of toys available for purchase around the web. You guess which are dog toys and which are sex toys. Read the rest of this entry »

Written by The Bagel of Everything

November 5, 2007 at 4:15 pm