Ration Reality

hyperbolic excellence

Archive for the ‘amazon’ Category

Why does my room smell so bad?

with 27 comments

Dear Cat,

My bedroom doesn’t smell badly enough. I’d really like it if you could find time to defecate next to my bed more often. Also, please be sure to scratch in the litter real loud while I’m sleeping, if you’d be so kind. To facilitate this, I’ve bought you a lovely nightstand-cum-litterbox.

Your loyal servant,

Bagel Read the rest of this entry »

Written by The Bagel of Everything

February 12, 2008 at 7:57 am

Posted in amazon, gifts, pets, shopping, wtf

How to Read a Book

with 10 comments

Written by The Bagel of Everything

February 5, 2008 at 4:28 am

Making bathtime lulz of fun

with 51 comments

I found these hygiene helpers yesterday, while Kevin was taunting me re: my preference for keeping my salad untossed.

Canus Li’l Goat’s(e) Milk Fruit Fragranced Crayon Soap
How many wrongs can you find?


More ill conceived products:
The tiniest Santa – The Nipple Extractor – A lure worse than the disease 
The Scat of Luxury –  Jesus Saves … guitar picks?

Written by The Bagel of Everything

January 9, 2008 at 6:38 am

Posted in amazon, anus, gifts, hygiene, shopping, wtf

Books that Exist: A Hand in the Bush

with 30 comments

Written by The Bagel of Everything

December 20, 2007 at 12:05 pm

Tattoo Your Babies for Judaism

with 14 comments

Hey kids! For those who haven’t committed suicide over the 4 day ЯR dry spell, we’re back! Vacation and shit. I was going to post to warn you, but then I didn’t. I’ve just got home, and want to post something, so I’m going to throw somethin’ at you that’s been sitting in the queue for a while. Oh, and Deviant was lucky enough to get an ЯR exclusive for his blog. Read it here— Unringing the Bell.

Convert To Judaism Breath Spray
Can’t speak a word of Yiddish and think Sabbath is an 80’s metal band?
Be part of this unique faith instantly, starting today! Read the rest of this entry »

Written by The Bagel of Everything

November 25, 2007 at 8:56 pm

Books that Exist: The History of Shit

with 9 comments

Written by The Bagel of Everything

November 14, 2007 at 6:18 pm

Jewtopia: The Chosen Book for the Chosen People

with 17 comments

Written by The Bagel of Everything

November 1, 2007 at 9:06 am