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Archive for the ‘your mom’ Category

The Pop-Up Kama Sutra

with 25 comments

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Written by The Bagel of Everything

April 15, 2008 at 10:29 am

The 12 most useless lists of all time

with 57 comments


  1. Things that make the Little House on the Prairie family cry
  2. Amazing intra-office communiques
  3. Soups that Gene Simmons’ nipple hair has been found in
  4. Animated Gif‘s Soylent Ape has fapped to
  5. Apples I could have eaten, had I been hungry
  6. Reasons lemmings hate America
  7. Pictures of ugly people Kevin has tricked me into looking at
  8. 800 Cellular telephones weighing under 2 pounds, in no particular order
  9. White males who enjoy tapwater
  10. Things to think about while masturbating
  11. Jewish men who love/hate their mothers
  12. Ways in which RationReality.com has sold out


Written by The Bagel of Everything

April 11, 2008 at 1:57 pm

Posted in list, satire, your mom

The Olympics: Killing People With Sports

with 38 comments

Deviant wrote this for us.

Like Mussolini, he isn’t such a bad guy!


The Olympics: Killing People With Sports
Let Us Not Forget that Olympians Are Simply Glorified Dumb Jocks

I think it’s horseshit that news commentators are urging us not to politicize the Olympics, when the whole affair is already politicized from the beginning. When the Olympics committee decides to hold the Olympics someplace, it provides an economical boon to the local businesses. Tourism is bumped up and governments have the attention of the world where they can go ahead and pull off all sorts of propaganda shenanigans…

Jesse Owens publicly claimed Hitler wasn’t such a bad guy when the Olympics were held in Germany of all places. Yeah let’s not politicize the Olympics by having our athletes compete in Nazi Germany, way to go Olympics Committee, you just provided Nazi Germany with a 1 Million Mark profit which was probably shuttled right into the death camps. Read the rest of this entry »

Written by The Bagel of Everything

April 10, 2008 at 1:17 pm


with 18 comments

It appears that way, items before you throw them away.
Soylent Ape (in his sleep)

I was looking for a site that I remember seeing a long time ago. I thought it was anticonsumerism.com. I was wrong. Seems it’s being squatted on by someone who desperately needs to consume a dictionary.

AntiConsumerism: Your shopping portal! I wonder if they sell IronyTM

I still haven’t found the site I wanted, but I’m pretty sure this isn’t it, either. Stoopid Go Ogle.

Related posts: I dream of eBay with real human hair – The Scat of Luxury
Ration Reality Comics: Retail Therapy – What’s an integrity?

Written by The Bagel of Everything

December 11, 2007 at 4:27 am

WTF Films: I Wanna Be a Squirrel

with 71 comments


The worst part: Soy and I actually know this guy. He’s the drummer for Craptain Jack and the Shmees. RobDogtheParrot has this to say about his film: “Bored. Dead squirrel. Dave Brockie Experience. It just all came together.”

Related posts: WTF Films: Once a Year – LolKill: Like LolCats, but deader

I wonder…do you think, maybe..it could be the same squirrel?

Written by The Bagel of Everything

December 8, 2007 at 12:38 am

Bad Day

with 14 comments

We’ve all had days when it seemed to be raining shit on our heads. Days when everything seemed to go wrong for us in every possible way. Still, it takes a story like this to put things into perspective for us:

Earlier this month, an unidentified man was driving through a residential area of Memphis in the early hours of the morning. Around 3:30 AM, the mystery motorist crashed his car into a utility pole. Staggering from the wreckage, the man mad a beeline to the home of Mr. Leroy Bruce.

The unidentified man began banging on Bruce’s front door. Bruce wisely refused him entry and, at this point, the man thought it would be a good idea to kick in one of Bruce’s windows. When the man began to insert his leg through the broken window into the living room, Bruce produced a gun and shot the man in the leg. Struggling to extricate himself from the busted window, the unidentified offender had to remove his shoes and pants.

The man eventually made his way to a McDonald’s Read the rest of this entry »

Written by Soylent Ape

November 30, 2007 at 10:56 am

Chocolate is Evil, and so is Canada

with 18 comments

mmmoneyCanadian divisions of Nestle, Cadbury, and Hershey have been accused of price fixing. Apparently that means anti-competitive collusion, and not simply repairing a co-dependant economy. According to Go Ogle, this is news. Not to me — I hate chocolate, and I’ve never been to Canada.

I don’t think they’ve done anything wrong. America was associating candy with pretend money back when Canadians were still worshipping that queen person. What’s a holiday without chocolate coins? Not a proper Jewish one, that’s certain. It’s extra confusing for Canadians, what with their pastel money covered in birdies and  pictures of a scary old lady who’s only once set her freakishly-oversized feet on their barren, frozen soil. Read the rest of this entry »

Written by The Bagel of Everything

November 29, 2007 at 12:35 am