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Two more of my lolcats for your geeky pleasure.
*FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE*
Saturday, 07 July 2007
In a press conference held today at near the base of the Washington Monument, it was announced that the reanimated corpse of Ronald Wilson Reagan (R – California) will be running for President of the United States in the 2008 election.
The spokespersons for the Committee for the Election of the Reanimated Corpse of Ronald Reagan stated that the campaign was in its early phases. They were not ready at this time to make any disclosures about their campaign financing, but stated that ‘funds are really low,’ and that it would be very expensive to hire a competent practitioner of Voodoo in order to raise the corpse and maintain it in a non-decomposing state.
The 2008 Zombie Reagan campaign’s official headquarters will be co-located with the noted “humor” and sarcasm blog Ration Reality.
The motivation behind the campaign is clear: “The Republican Party today simply doesn’t have very many good choices. McCain might as well just switch his party affiliation – he’s a jackass by nature, might as well start using the symbol, too. Romney, he’s a little bit of a space cadet,” said Ration Reality Spokesman Jesse Custer.
Bagel of Everything fielded the Giuliani question: “I don’t like him. He fucks around on his wife entirely too much, and besides, he smells like stale pepperoni.”
When asked about Fred Thompson, Custer had this to say: “On the face of it, Senator Thompson seems like the best candidate of the currently living. People are comparing him to Ronald Reagan. That’s why we thought, ‘why bother with a copy, when we can just go to the source,’ so we decided to simply raise the corpse of Reagan himself.”
One of the potential campaign slogans being discussed is ‘Better a Corpse than a Clinton,’ which can be purchased on a bumper sticker (pictured below) available from campaign headquarters for a nominal fee.
Further information will be distributed as it becomes available. Campaign volunteers are requested to sign up at the bottom of this page. Press inquiries may be directed HERE.
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