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Archive for the ‘pop culture’ Category

Bizarre Commercials, Volume 6

with 80 comments

Up to this point, we’ve illustrated ads produced with the intention to sell products. However, there are some television spots that are just out to make people aware (and, possibly, still sell sell products, but not in such an obvious manner. They’re called Public Service Announcements (PSAs) and here are a few of the more bizarre ones.

* G.I. Joe on Petting Strange Dogs

The National Child Safety Council created several animated PSAs to run at the end of episodes of the G.I. Joe cartoon series back in the 80s. This one cautions youngsters of the dangers of petting animals you don’t know. Admittedly, this is a fairly innocuous subject for badass military functionaries like G.I. Joe to bring up. Perhaps Mutt really wanted to say “you should never pet a strange dog because it’s loaded down with enough C-4 to blow your fuckin’ ass back to Beirut, numbnuts!”, but standards and practices thought it was a little harsh. Anyway, knowing is half the battle.

* Heavy Metal with a Social Conscience Read the rest of this entry »


Written by Soylent Ape

June 2, 2008 at 5:32 am

Brand Identity

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Ever wonder how we tend to have very strong perceptions about certain high-profile personalities? They’re usually very specific, but very concise personal impressions. What comes to mind when you think of Paris Hilton? Will Smith? Barack Obama? David Bowie? Chances are that if you have a strong identification–positive or otherwise–with any of these people, it’s a good chance part of your perception has been influenced by a marketing technique called personal branding. This is a process by which a public figure (or that figure’s handlers) manage him or her persona in the same way a corporation would manage its product (brand). Therefore, if one were to wish to be seen as a “leader”, “innovator”, “leading man” or “bad girl”, there is a PR firm willing to help you create and maintain that idea.

While nurturing brand identity has been a part of marketing products for centuries, it is a relatively new development in terms of marketing a person. It is taking on a new dimension among the candidates in the US Presidential elections. To go one further, many non-celebrities are using personal branding techniques to help advance their careers and personal lives.

Now, we have people being commodified through branding. Since turnabout is fair play, I thought it would be enlightening to take established product brands and speculate what kind of traits and behaviors they’d have, were they people.

Dr. Pepper: Has a practice out in the suburbs and lives in a gated community. He gets behind the wheel of a Lexus most days, but sometimes drives a Land Rover Discovery on days when he’s feeling “rugged”. He just got accepted into the county’s most exclusive country club. In the throes of a mid-life crisis, Pepper’s trophy wife isn’t cutting it anymore, so he’s diddling his PA. He’s not holding out hope for a Smiths reunion tour.

Mr Pibb: Helped landscape Pepper’s McMansion when the development first opened. He lives in a double-wide out by the rail yard. Read the rest of this entry »

Written by Soylent Ape

April 25, 2008 at 7:57 am

9 movies that suck…

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9 movies that suck but you have to see them anyway because everyone else has and you’ll never know what people are talking about unless you suffer through them

1. Men in Black

Ever pull the wing off a fly? Care to see the fly get even?

Oh noes! There are aliens living among us, being all allegorical about race relations! Someone call the Mib Squad: The first, last, and only line of defense against the most ham-fisted metaphors in the universe!

2. Titanic
The unsinkable ship is sinking! Fortunately, I have a doctorate in applied physics and have spent years calculating the specific counter-intuitive actions that will save us from just such an event! (later…) Oh, sweet forced irony! I died anyway! Read the rest of this entry »

Written by The Bagel of Everything

March 24, 2008 at 12:10 am

It’s Foamy the motherfuckin Squirrel, bitch!

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Neurotically Yours is a cartoon series featuring Foamy the Squirrel. It’s the best cartoon in the world; If you don’t agree, you are wrong and should harm yourself immediately.

A beginner’s guide to being a bitch-hermit Read the rest of this entry »

Written by The Bagel of Everything

February 23, 2008 at 6:35 pm

Go Cry, Emo Senator

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The New Hampshire primaries are known for surprises, but the turn of fortunes that saw dark horse Hillary Clinton definitively carry the state was nothing short of historic. She wasn’t given a fighting chance in the Granite State given the multitude of polls that showed as much. Still, by Tuesday evening, she had emerged a winner. The sophisticated media polls were wrong. The early exit polls didn’t tell the whole story, either. Shows what you know, MSNBC.

The last 24 hours, I’ve been going over the events, puzzling over what turned the tide. Here’s what we know from the intense media coverage:

1) There was a record turnout.
2) Young voters seemed especially mobilized
3) Hillary Clinton (ostensibly) showed a little emotion when she choked back a tear (when asked how she remains “upbeat”).

Obama must have thought he’d struck gold when he got the Oprah endorsement. Leave it to a Clinton to out-oprah Oprah. So…Young voters? Responding to a candidate crying? This can mean only one thing: Emos will be the deciding factor in the 08 elections! Any candidates who value their candidacy had better set to work at coddling these eyepatch-wearing Hot Topic denizens. Read the rest of this entry »

Written by Soylent Ape

January 11, 2008 at 8:42 am

Nothing is sacred…nothing save Bowie

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Turn and face the strange
Deviant wrote this for us, because he’s such a wonderful person
(but he’s  got problems)

In the year 1972, David Jones revealed Himself as David Bowie AKA Ziggy Stardust, the leper messiah from another planet. This was before the internet, so you can imagine that it was a very big deal. People back then were ignorant, and so it was widely believed that David Bowie was indeed a space alien, especially since He looked like this:

Where is your God now?

David Bowie single-handedly invented homosexuality in the early 70’s with His glam-era albums Ziggy Stardust And The Spiders from Mars, Aladdin Sane and Diamond Dogs. Read the rest of this entry »

Written by The Bagel of Everything

December 19, 2007 at 12:02 pm

It’s Always Sunny on TV

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I hate listening to people’s dreams. It is like flipping through a stack of photographs.
If I’m not in any of them and nobody is having sex, I just don’t care
. – Dennis Reynolds, IASIP

Here at ЯR, we spend alot of time bitching about things that piss us off. We do like some things. Like television. We fucking love television. And we love It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Read the rest of this entry »

Written by The Bagel of Everything

October 30, 2007 at 7:04 am