Ration Reality

hyperbolic excellence

Archive for the ‘religion’ Category

I said Mosque, not Mosh

with 40 comments

Giving a New Meaning to the Term “Bombtrack”

In recent years, a new subculture has begun to use the medium of punk rock to share its views with like-minded music fans and the world at large. Anarchists? Well, if you paid any attention to punk rock over the last 25 years or so, you’d know that anarchists are already making ideological punk music. Luddites? Well, there is a sizeable acoustic punk scene, but they still use modern means of recording, distribution and conveyance to shows. Washed up, trashy, talentless twenty-something rehab urchins with astoundingly poor judgement? No, but good guess!

The subculture in question is (drumroll, please): “progressive Muslims” Read the rest of this entry »

Written by Soylent Ape

May 29, 2008 at 9:39 am

Posted in islam, music, news, religion, world

Books that Exist: The Shit of God

with 111 comments

Written by The Bagel of Everything

March 28, 2008 at 2:29 am

The Blessed Virgina

with 44 comments

Deviant wrote this for us, because he thinks about vaginas kind of alot. 

  

I believed everyone knew that the Catholic depiction of the Virgin Mary was based on a vagina, that is until I informed my friend Bagel about this belief and she expressed shock.

Let me explain…

As a raised Catholic, my connection with the Virgin Mary is a doozy. In the Catholic faith the Virgin Mary is treated like a goddess, though the church would claim otherwise, calling her a mortal that rose to heaven is semantics.

In Catholicism, there were special prayers sent to the Virgin Mary that were on par with prayers you would send to Jesus (or baby jesus if you were feeling especially kawaii).

The Virgin Mary is a loving force to be reckoned with in Catholic dogma. It was an honor for latin mothers, aunts, and grandmothers to give their children symbols of Our Lady of Guadalupe, the Mexican version of the Virgin Mary. My mother gave me an Our Lady of Guadalupe medallion; which was slightly odd because she hates Mexicans, but I figured that her home country of Guatemala couldn’t afford a Virgin Mary of their own. Read the rest of this entry »

Written by The Bagel of Everything

March 21, 2008 at 5:21 am

Reason #19 why I’m going to hell

with 56 comments

Pardonnez-moi, monsieur. Je ne l’ai pas fait exprès.
(Pardon me, sir. I did not do it on purpose.)
Last words of Marie Antoinette

I made this a few months ago. It’s wrong and I’m sorry. Read the rest of this entry »

Written by The Bagel of Everything

February 6, 2008 at 4:50 am

Scientology is Serious Business

with 65 comments

Deviant wrote this for us, while awaiting the coming of Tan.

Anonymous Attacks Scientology
or
How I Learned To Stop Worrying and Love Religious Persecution

I suggest we start to get this idea of “religious persecution” as a bad thing out of our collective thoughts.

We hear all about how the pilgrims came over here because they were persecuted, but we all know deep down in our hearts that they kind of deserved it.

The pilgrims were assholes.

I think our society can afford to religiously persecute several fringe members of our society like the Mormons, the Scientologists, and ITT Tech graduates, and they should be persecuted just a tad bit. I’m not calling for mass genocide or anything barbaric like that, but the following news story of “persecution” I think is comparable to a light playful hazing: Read the rest of this entry »

Written by The Bagel of Everything

January 29, 2008 at 1:06 pm

The Circumcision of Jesus

with 59 comments

The circumcision of Jesus
Loltheist made me do it. They’re a bad influence on my artistic integrities!

Related posts: Ode to My Husband’s Missing Foreskin – All your Lego are belong to Jesus

Written by The Bagel of Everything

January 10, 2008 at 5:03 am

Jesus Saves … guitar picks?

with 12 comments

Jesus Saves Guitar Picks 4 Pack @ Amazon.com

God: Hey, JC! Whadda you say we go down to Earth, spend some quality time?
JCUm, no.
God: C’mon, it’ll be fun. We’ll go fishing for men.
JC: Yeah, that sounds great and all, but I gotta update my blog.
God: Jesus, son! You need to get a hobby!
JC: I have my blog, Dad. You just don’t understand my generation!
God: A real hobby! Maybe you could collect something.
JC: Yeah, sure. Whatever. Bring me a Fillet O’ Fish and some Dansani before you go, k?

And that, brothers and sisters, is how Jesus began saving guitar picks. At a current total of 4, it’s not much of a collection. It’s tragic really. With all the dexterity of a carpenter’s son, he’d be a great shredder, if it weren’t for those horrible hand injuries.

Related posts:

 

Written by The Bagel of Everything

October 24, 2007 at 5:46 am