Ration Reality

hyperbolic excellence

Archive for the ‘childhood’ Category

The No Cussin’ Club

with 22 comments

Hey kids! I’ve found us a new contributor!
The brilliantly funny Scott from In the What? has accepted an asininement. Sucker!

In the following post, an honest to G-d librarian gives us permission to swear. So if you’re ever busted for vulgarities in a library, tell them Scott said it’s ok. They’ll totally understand: ‘Rians are much like blacks, jews, and the gays– they all know eachother.

Pace yourself children. It’s a strong piece from beginning to end. I’m so proud.

 –Bagel

McKay Hatch Was Born on a Pirate Ship

Kids have dreams for some reason. The youth of America all seem to think they’re going to change the world. “I’m gonna be a fireman and save people’s lives!” “I’m gonna be the Easter Bunny and give everyone chocolate eggs!” “I’m gonna be a doctor and cure my mommy’s cancer!” Yeah right. More likely you’re going to graduate with a B average, major in business, and become boring and useless like everyone else. That’s why it’s a good thing that kids are powerless. They don’t get a chance to pursue their dreams until they’re old enough to realize how stupid they are.

But not McKay Hatch! No, McKay jumped upon his dreams before the Sledgehammer of Reality came barreling towards his cranium, and–wonders behold!–he HAS changed the world! Read the rest of this entry »

Written by The Bagel of Everything

November 29, 2007 at 12:00 pm

The West Virginia Chronicles, Vol. 1: Defeated by WV

with 18 comments

It’s a small, intriguing territory known for coal, chemicals, college football, skiing, rafting and killer cannabis. I’m talking about West Virginia. Some of you may have driven through Charleston and seen the office towers and gold-leaf dome on the state capital building. Some of you may live in the peaceful, largely-affluent D. C. suburbs around Martinsburg. Some of you may have saved up for a getaway at the four-star Greenbrier resort. These areas of the state are largely-progressive, economically-viable and diversified. They have decent schools, well-surfaced roads and, most importantly, hope. But the lower coalfields, which begin in the southeastern suburbs of Charleston and go right down to the Kentucky and Virginia state lines, are quite a different story…and it’s a story I know well. Read the rest of this entry »

Written by Soylent Ape

October 22, 2007 at 4:42 am

Alisha the hero

with 42 comments

don't fuck with my mommy

7 year old Alisha Williamson is a good girl.
She likes to goto work at the Sav-Mor with her mommy.
She also likes to kick fucking ass.

Read the rest of this entry »

Written by The Bagel of Everything

September 4, 2007 at 1:52 am

Ration Reality Comics: Beyond the Fourth Wall

with 5 comments

rr-016.jpg

Written by jessecuster

August 14, 2007 at 3:35 pm

Ration Reality Comics: Why Mommy Drinks

with 10 comments

rr-014.jpg

 

View all our original comics HERE.

Written by jessecuster

July 31, 2007 at 10:46 am

Ration Reality Comics: Kickin’ it 8-bit Old School

with 6 comments

I miss my Atari. I had two, growing up. First one was second or third-hand: one of the 1976 6-switch ‘Video Computer Systems,’ then later (after the first one wore out) I got a 4-switch one at a yard sale. So much fun. Phoenix. Vanguard. Chopper Command. Defender. Missile Command. Asteroids. Boxing. And of course, the classic … Space Invaders.

rr-012-1.jpg

Written by jessecuster

July 17, 2007 at 10:15 am

Ration Reality Comics: Retail Therapy

with 3 comments

Written by jessecuster

July 12, 2007 at 1:37 pm