Ration Reality

hyperbolic excellence

Archive for the ‘blogging’ Category

What I did with my summer depression

with 72 comments

Hi ya! Did you miss me? I sure missed you! So where the fuck have I been? First I got sick. Real sick. Then I got depressed. Illness always triggers the downside of my manic-depression. The thing about my depressions is that I kinda sorta like them — at least I think I do when I’m in it. It envelopes me with a lovely kind of sleepiness. You know that awesome feeling when you wake up early, remember it’s Saturday, and you can go back to sleep? That’s it. That, and wishing everyone would just die so I could be left alone. I don’t realize just how miserable I’d felt until I’ve started recovering. So, now I’m dragging myself back out of that cozy dark corner. I’m ever grateful to you for sticking around.

My downtime wasn’t entirely spent sleeping in a blanket-fort. I did some stuff: Read the rest of this entry »


Written by The Bagel of Everything

June 12, 2008 at 9:31 am

Posted in blogging, depression, list

Warm fuzzies crawlin’ all over me

with 80 comments

In a pitiful attempt to win our favor, loyal ЯR participant Keywork has written a cloying review of our beloved website. It seems he’s such a big ass-suck fan, he could do nothing but praise our groundbreaking family website. Enjoy, friends! 

You Can Have My Ration.

Ration Reality. I stumbled upon this incoherent, slimy sac of anal seepage a few months ago. And I can tell you this: don’t visit this blog, Bagel has syphilis. Yes, the editor, Bagel of Everything, has syphilis. Frat boys beware. Never in my life have I ever read such horrible propaganda. Let’s look: Read the rest of this entry »

Written by The Bagel of Everything

April 28, 2008 at 8:35 am

What’s wrong with you people?

with 22 comments

It’s that time again, kids! A list of RationReality’s favorite incoming searches, linked up to the related posts and/or in-site searches. Oh, yeah, and a picture of boobies, too. Read the rest of this entry »

Written by The Bagel of Everything

November 18, 2007 at 4:11 am

Welcome to the Neighborhood

with 18 comments

 Before we get into Soy’s post, go vote for our good friend Laurie Kendrick at weblogawards.  There is no signup, just a click and you’re done. -bagel

I wrote this a few months before I joined Ration Reality. The events happenned on a warm, spring day, rather than a chilly autumn one. I hope you enjoy this little slice of my existence.

Though I’m in my third decade on this earth, I basically live the same way that I did in college. I don’t say this as a point of pride–more like a resignation to the fact that my home is pretty messy, I tend to eat my meals off of napkins with plastic utensils hijacked from fast food eateries and view sleep as an enemy, using all available resources to cheat it. Last night, when any normal person would have been slumbering, I was up chatting with a good friend, playing my bass guitar, annoying my wife, grooming my cat and laughing my ass off to some obscure British television program — largely at the same time! Do I realize that it’s abnormal? Of course. “Abnormal” pretty much describes my life as a whole, I suppose.

To complicate things (so to speak), I’ve lived in a big, beige suburban “planned community” for about 6 years now. When I got married, my wife moved here with me. For the sake of my family’s privacy, I won’t reveal the pretentious name of my subdivision. Instead, I will substitute my own, more appropriate name. How about “Aryan Acres” or “Flight Path Estates”? Whatever the name, one need only look at the big, honkin’ SUVs and shiny German sedans parked in front of the townhomes here to see that my neighbors are living the suburban lifestyle to which they aspire. To their great credit, they’ve put up with our 10 year-old, cosmetically-challenged vehicles, loudmouthed (if loveable) mutt of a dog and overall bohemian lifestyle. These days, most neighbors don’t even give a second glance when they see me sporting a dog chain collar and green hair while wheeling out a massive guitar cabinet to my truck. As long as I don’t actually play through that cabinet in my home, they don’t mind. God bless them.

Well, for one new arrival, the welcome to our cozy suburban existence was a bit more jarring than my own. Read the rest of this entry »

Written by Soylent Ape

November 2, 2007 at 11:37 am


with 6 comments

It’s an ЯR trivia crossword puzzle. Read the rest of this entry »

Written by The Bagel of Everything

September 25, 2007 at 4:36 am

Your First Source for Chicken Labia

with 30 comments

 Random Awesome Comment: 
I’m starting to think, everything I need to learn, I do from here. Stiletto on All your Lego are belong to Jesus 

We get alot of interesting incoming searches at ЯR. The best of these we check out ourselves. When I saw Chicken Labia, I couldn’t resist. We’re number one, fools! (For now…the googles are fickle) Read the rest of this entry »

Written by The Bagel of Everything

September 9, 2007 at 12:59 am

That’s just wong!

with 13 comments

RationReality.com -- it's just wong.

Minorities + The GIMP = Fun for the whole family

 Lately, it seems I’ve been picking on the proud African race.
(Ex: 1, 2, 3)
To make it up to ya’ll, I’ve made this.
Should balance the scales, doncha think?

Photocredit/Future Plaintiff: Rosheila

Related posts:

None. So just go read this old one:
Castrating Harpy or Tard-Fisted Baconbitch?

Written by The Bagel of Everything

September 5, 2007 at 6:02 pm