Archive for the ‘health’ Category
Two weeks ago, FoxNews.com released a list of 5 Reasons to See a Gynecologist Immediately.
1. Painful blister-like lesions on the vagina or rectal areas
2. Significant vaginal bleeding
3. Sudden, intense belly pain
4. Post menopausal bleeding.
5. New breast lump
The internet is awash with reasons to see your doctor. No one ever talks about when to leave your doctor the hell alone. We here at ЯR aren’t in bed with the AMA, and welcome frivolous lawsuits. Just because I have no medical training doesn’t mean I can’t make up medical advice that will probably kill you.
Five Reasons to Leave Your Gynecologist The Hell Alone:
1. Rhythmic abdominal cramping followed by the excretion of a screaming, writhing lump of tissue: It’s nothing. Wrap it in plastic bags and bury it in your backyard. Your maternal instinct will tell you to toss it in a dumpster — don’t do this. As an avid viewer of CSI, I know the dumpster-method never ends well. Read the rest of this entry »
♫ They’ll suck a dick up
til they hiccup
for a fee ♪
-Alexyss K Tylor
Warning to Gay Boys
It’s long, but it’s worth it. She gets more outrageous as she goes. I especially love how she tries to be erudite, between her fits of “goddamn!” and various ghettoness. If this were a skit, I’d likely be offended. Somehow, her earnestness makes it okay. Check our her website, YouTube, and MySpace. Or just give her a call.
I want her to be my new best friend.
Addendum: This one is even better. I wish I’d seen it first. 03:50 – 04:05 nearly killed me.
Symptom, or Sista’ ?
It’s a game, and you can play!
Some of these are from babynames.org’s list of African-American baby girl names, the remainder from Wikipedia’s list of medical symptoms. Can you tell which is which?
Larhonda Read the rest of this entry »
Nipple Extractor: The wintertime comfort accessory
Winter is coming soon, kids. The dry indoor heat can make one’s skin all itchy. When I was living in the cold, cold north, my skin would get so dry in the winter, my nipples would actually peel. You ladies, I’m sure, can understand the discomfort. Men folks, imagine your head (the one you think with when you go here) flaking, peeling, and itching so badly you can’t sleep. Don’t even think of scratching – it’s much too sensitive. Read the rest of this entry »
A Twin Falls, Idaho man got more than a vacuum cleaner when a door-to-door Kirby vacuum cleaner salesman came calling six months ago. Likewise, when Jamie Howard arrived at Mr. Sucher’s abode to heavy-hand a new upright upon the resident, he didn’t realize what he was getting himself into.
In the course of the (likely) high-pressure sales pitch Sucher said he couldn’t afford a new vac. (At this point, I imagine that Howard probably said something like, “When you can have a high-performance, high-quality upright like this at just $60 a month, how can you afford not to have one?”)
Sucher informed Howard that he couldn’t afford the vacuum because he was waiting for a kidney transplant. Apparently, Sucher didn’t need any more high-pressure in his life because his own high blood pressure had caused his kidneys to fail in 2004. Read the rest of this entry »