Ration Reality

hyperbolic excellence

What I did with my summer depression

with 72 comments

Hi ya! Did you miss me? I sure missed you! So where the fuck have I been? First I got sick. Real sick. Then I got depressed. Illness always triggers the downside of my manic-depression. The thing about my depressions is that I kinda sorta like them — at least I think I do when I’m in it. It envelopes me with a lovely kind of sleepiness. You know that awesome feeling when you wake up early, remember it’s Saturday, and you can go back to sleep? That’s it. That, and wishing everyone would just die so I could be left alone. I don’t realize just how miserable I’d felt until I’ve started recovering. So, now I’m dragging myself back out of that cozy dark corner. I’m ever grateful to you for sticking around.

My downtime wasn’t entirely spent sleeping in a blanket-fort. I did some stuff:

1. Tried new snacks: Pnuttles Butter Toffee Sunflower Kernels are amazing, and Kraft Bagel-fulls are just as good as they look on the commercial. Also, Papa John’s new whole-wheat pizza crust is nasty.

2. Played Travian. It’s a badass super-slow paced strategy RPG. You should check it out; it’s free and browser-based, so there’s nothing to download.

3. Read Blindness by Jose Saramago. It’s about contagious blindness that sweeps an unnamed city. Everyone goes blind, except one character. The novel reads almost like a zombie story. You can read half of it free on books.google.

4. Watched Red Dawn like 4 times, just because it was on.

5. Avoided anything creative or social. :(

So I’m back now. It might take a while to get back on the horse, so I hope you’ll continue to be patient.


Written by The Bagel of Everything

June 12, 2008 at 9:31 am

Posted in blogging, depression, list

72 Responses

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  1. glad to see you’re back and feeling better. =)

    and for some reason, wheat crust just sounds nasty.

    SEO Hack

    June 12, 2008 at 11:24 am

  2. Yeah! Fuck you, depression! Now give us some candy.

    The 'Goose

    June 12, 2008 at 11:32 am

  3. OMG…this morning I was going to send you an email cause I was worried! So glad you are back – sometimes you just need to rejuvenate yourself. I’m glad you did those things. We miss our bagel…I am sending you an email still from my new .com address – thanks to you!


    June 12, 2008 at 12:06 pm

  4. Welcome back!

    I really want to read that book, but whenever I open one of his, I always think there are far more words than a page should ever see. Dude needs some dialogue and about 70% more paragraph breaks.


    June 12, 2008 at 2:12 pm

  5. You’re back for real? for real, real? Yay. cause if anything is depressing it’s working here with paranoid, schizophrenic which doesn’t work well with attention deficit. Now you can make me happy.

    I’m glad you’re feeling better.


    June 12, 2008 at 3:15 pm

  6. Welcome back, Bagel!

    Wheat crust is awesome, Red Dawn is a masterwork of modern cinema and Blindness is thoroughly confusing.

    Soylent Ape

    June 12, 2008 at 5:54 pm

  7. Wheat crust sounds like it would be delicious, but Papa John’s screws it up. It doesn’t have the chewiness of their regular crust, and it tastes bland. They need to add some honey.

    The Bagel of Everything

    June 12, 2008 at 6:08 pm

  8. Jeez, people get a little sad these days and they end up inthe fuckin looney bin for a week.
    I keed, I keed.
    I’ve had my bouts with depression. never could figure out of it was result of the alcohol and drug withdrawls. Or if it was the depression that caused me to get loaded all the time. Or if I was depressed because I was an alcohlic hope to die junkie.
    Anyway. I was prescribed Paxil. After about 2 weelks of eating that shit I felt as bad as I’ve ever felt in my life. I was bawling my brains out and didnt know why.
    I felt as if I had just axe murdered a bunch of babies.
    My wife took me the hospital and they kept me in the psych ward for two weeks to detox.

    I want you to get the attention you need Bagel and please take care.
    I dont know that your manic or anything that serious , but I do know how bad it can hurt.
    In my case the depression seemed to go away after years of sobriety.
    I’m fond of you and would hate for anything to happen to you


    June 12, 2008 at 6:24 pm

  9. Fuckwheat


    June 12, 2008 at 6:25 pm

  10. Micky,
    I was diagnosed bipolar at age 13. I deal with it. Don’t worry about me. I’m not suicidal.

    I’m not even sure if I wanna be normal — the manic episodes are most excellent.

    The Bagel of Everything

    June 12, 2008 at 6:59 pm

  11. Yea, thats the way I deal with my shit. I cherish it, I celebrate it, i fucking milk it to the max. To the point where I crack myself up sometimes.
    Its kinda like a free ride.
    my wife trips. I tell to kick back and let me go thru the process


    June 12, 2008 at 7:09 pm

  12. my son was diagnosed with a mood disorder at age 8 or 9. he’s on depakote as a mood stabilizer, concerta for his mania and an antidepressant it was suppose to help him sleep but when we took him off of it we saw a big different in his behavior so we put him back on it.

    I just have attention deficit disorder. It also comes with high and lows.


    June 12, 2008 at 7:21 pm

  13. Thats a nice way of saying yer stupid :-)


    June 12, 2008 at 9:17 pm

  14. Shit. I know how this feels. I’m still trying to get on track myself. Doesn’t help that I am sick EVERY day but have to deal with it. But I’ve started juicing…don’t report me to the Supreme Court or anything. It really is starting to help my GI issues.
    Ahahaha, jucing…GI. I made a funny. Or maybe it’s the meds.


    June 12, 2008 at 9:48 pm

  15. Wheat crust sounds so yuck!

    Hey man, we all need some mental removal of all things human so we may think about our shit and then try to get it together.

    Good to see you back.


    June 12, 2008 at 9:52 pm

  16. Traditional thin NY crust.
    In hollywood they have a pizza joint that advertises that they use NY water in their crust.
    For those of you who dont know its that water that makes NY crust so good.
    Americans will fuck up a pizza as many ways as possible.
    Next thing you know the crust will start coming with a prize in it like a box of Cracker Jacks.
    Fortune crust


    June 12, 2008 at 10:42 pm

  17. Bagel, did you get my email?


    June 12, 2008 at 10:49 pm

  18. Fortune crust: LOL

    Soylent Ape

    June 13, 2008 at 6:08 am

  19. Thanks for the support, folks.

    I did get your email, Freddy. Did you not receive my reply?

    The Bagel of Everything

    June 13, 2008 at 8:25 am

  20. My father told me that pizza crust puts hair on your chest.


    June 13, 2008 at 11:39 am

  21. Mick, I’m just gonna ignore your last comment to me, cause you know how I feel about that subject.

    and if you meant it then you’re a prick.


    June 13, 2008 at 11:46 am

  22. Cap: I think his little smiley thing meant he was kidding you. Quit reading so fast, ADD! Damn!

    The 'Goose

    June 13, 2008 at 12:08 pm

  23. I know. It’s just the time that I read it I was annoyed at something else. I honestly don’t think mick would tease me on that. we’ve had a long conversation on the subject a while back and he knows how sensitive I am on the subject. You all do, I think.


    June 13, 2008 at 12:52 pm

  24. Cap.
    I’ll always be a prick. My ears are fake.
    But I’ll always love ya.


    June 13, 2008 at 1:03 pm

  25. dito


    June 13, 2008 at 1:12 pm

  26. Do you wax your chest ?


    June 13, 2008 at 2:12 pm

  27. wax what ever you want.


    June 13, 2008 at 2:26 pm

  28. I’m never waxing anything again ever as long as I live. Or at least, I will never rip my pores open and put them anywhere the general populace might leave their funk. “Bring in da noise, keep your funk at home, plz. Kthx.”

    The 'Goose

    June 13, 2008 at 2:34 pm

  29. Wax on; wax off.

    Soylent Ape

    June 13, 2008 at 4:09 pm

  30. C,mon soy.
    I know you can do better than that


    June 13, 2008 at 4:32 pm

  31. It gives me great pleasure to inflict that much pain on a man that he can’t control.

    sometimes even better then masturbating.


    June 13, 2008 at 5:05 pm

  32. cap.
    Whos “he” ?


    June 13, 2008 at 6:16 pm

  33. “he” any man…can’t control the pain. did I word it wrong? guess I did. but you know what I meant, right?

    Men think they are always in control but when I get them in my chair they have no control and I have it all. so rip a away, cap. hehehehe


    June 13, 2008 at 6:30 pm

  34. I was just curious if you had any particular guy in mind.
    Here we go the feminist bullshit again. Fuckin man haters.
    Yea yea, women always think they’re in control also.
    Just remember that you want to get paid. So dont rip away too much.
    And if yer doin it for sheer pleasure then your definatley not in control


    June 13, 2008 at 6:48 pm

  35. just men in general. some more then others. I like to be in control but sometimes I’m not and I’m not afraid to admit it.

    None of my serivices are for free. even if it is for my pleasure you still have to pay.


    June 13, 2008 at 6:54 pm

  36. that didn’t sound right. services meaning waxing, nails, etc…


    June 13, 2008 at 6:57 pm

  37. Yea, Services didnt spell right either.
    Have another one.
    I’m in a baaaaad mood. My great Dane is on her last days.



    June 13, 2008 at 7:19 pm

  38. like she dying?


    June 13, 2008 at 7:26 pm

  39. I’m so sorry, Micky.


    June 13, 2008 at 7:54 pm

  40. […] Bagel over at RationReality, my blog absence isn’t the result of sickness and depression, but of a rather sinister combination of finals, moving, and lack of an Internet connection. That […]

  41. Good to see you up and about on the Interwebs again, Bagel.


    June 15, 2008 at 2:14 am

  42. Dearest Bagel……….

    …..I can Relate exactly to you!

    without boring you and talking about my DEMONS and DEVILS and getting sentiMENTAL…..I’ m GLAD YOUR BACK!

    ……If you ever need MEDS ……. give WILLIE WONKA JaSoN a Hollar!

    P.s. ……They go down easy with HERSEYS CHOCOLATE MILK!


    Besides…………CLOWNS DON’t SuPPOSED to GET SAD…..only MIMES!!!!!!!!!!!!

    JaSoN....ReTaiL hELL

    June 23, 2008 at 3:59 am


    –Words to live by, Jason!


    June 23, 2008 at 5:44 am

  44. Speaking of which.
    Where is Bagel ?


    June 23, 2008 at 8:35 am

  45. how is the bagster?


    June 23, 2008 at 9:14 am

  46. bagel? =(


    June 26, 2008 at 12:53 am

  47. Unhand our Bagel and no one gets hurt.

    The 'Goose

    June 26, 2008 at 9:36 am

  48. Thinking about you guys. I really hope it’s just vacation.


    June 26, 2008 at 2:50 pm

  49. I feel the same way


    June 26, 2008 at 4:39 pm

  50. hey mick, where the hell you been?


    June 26, 2008 at 6:00 pm

  51. I keep coming here but nothins goin on !


    June 26, 2008 at 7:32 pm

  52. aye, what micky and capricorn say.


    June 27, 2008 at 1:30 pm

  53. HELLO !!!


    June 30, 2008 at 11:50 am

  54. I sometimes wonder if the most creative, funny people on this planet all struggle with depression or some other form of “mental illness.” I know I do.

    Love Bites

    July 10, 2008 at 9:29 pm

  55. What about the not so funny and creative people? See, I don’t even fit in that category.


    July 11, 2008 at 8:44 am

  56. Thank God you got sick. I thought you were invincible. Smart, twisted, and creator of the indispensable bacon bra, you were too perfect.


    July 12, 2008 at 12:16 pm

  57. BTW, are you really manic depressive? Damn, you really are flawless.

    Well, except for that getting sick thing. It dropped you down a few points.


    July 12, 2008 at 12:17 pm

  58. I miss ration reality. I miss bagel. And Soy. I miss everything that it stands for. I miss laughing with friends I’ve never met, especially when I was down.

    Who better to tell all my sexual secrets to. Bagel is the queen of sarcasm and probably is the only one I would show my breasts to on the spur of the moment. She understood me and she excepted me. I miss that she laughed at my jokes when ever I had one. I miss that I could come here and there would always be someone.

    I miss having food named after me. (we were on to something, too)

    I wish you would come back and I understand if you can’t.

    Just thinking about you.



    August 6, 2008 at 6:22 pm

  59. i stopped in to see if there was any action here and saw that cappie had stopped by. I was just talking with someone about bagel and ration reality and how i miss her and soy and everything else. i was more of a wall flower than all you all, but this was a daily read.

    reading cappie’s message made me realize what i missed about bagel. she would stop by when i was ready to call this shit done and move along and tell me not to. she would laugh at my horriblest jokes. i think that’s just the thing, even if you didn’t feel like you fit in or were a fucking retard, she made you feel like you were at least the best fucking retard in the world. or at least she did for me. she did a good job of making this place feel like a home of sorts. or at least the back alley doorway where we could all hang out, drink and watch the bums fight over the remains of cigarettes we flicked at them.

    miss you bagel. miss you too soy (probably the nicest guy in this wasteland known as the interweb). hope all you all are doing alright.



    August 8, 2008 at 6:31 pm

  60. Amen.

    “even if you didn’t feel like you fit in or were a fucking retard, she made you feel like you were at least the best fucking retard in the world.”

    Bwahahahah, hack, that made me laugh out loud. But how am I suppose to come and visit you if you don’t leave a link. You have a blog don’t ya?


    August 8, 2008 at 10:38 pm

  61. It’s nice to have you back, Bagel.

    A.J. Valliant

    August 11, 2008 at 12:32 pm

  62. Hi Bagel.

    That’s all.


    August 13, 2008 at 9:44 am

  63. Damn, I thought I had been gone for a minute. What happened to you all?


    September 1, 2008 at 11:24 am

  64. Bagel,

    Sex heals everything.



    November 22, 2008 at 5:20 am

  65. I’m just hoping one day you wake up and say, “I think I’m gonna start blogging today.”


    November 30, 2008 at 2:39 pm

  66. The only thing I want for Christmas is a blog post from Bagel.


    December 8, 2008 at 10:05 am

  67. I miss all of this. All of you. I’m starting a fucking petition to get this motherfucking blog back up ‘n running. Now. I met both of these angels in person and I refuse to let the brilliance die. Off your ass, readers, let’s get this bitch back on the road. Anybody? Fuck it. I’ll do it myself.

    Ghost of Keywork

    December 16, 2008 at 11:29 pm

  68. Sounds like we need to take on a another mission, Keywork! Operation RR under effect immediately!


    December 25, 2008 at 10:55 am

  69. Yeah, I’m down. You still have my email, right?

    Ghost of Keywork

    January 4, 2009 at 11:28 am

  70. I can relate. I have mental illness (primarily OCD). And I’m unipolar–always at the manic end! So depression is wonderful, for me (obviously because it’s not really depression)! Feeling down beats the hell out of feeling terrified!


    May 1, 2009 at 4:28 am

  71. It’s funny how, I stop by every once in a while, even after a year. I’d have a heart attack if I stopped by and there was a new post.


    August 7, 2009 at 1:29 pm

    • i completely agree. i miss bagel…i know she signed on to youtube 3 days ago…she should come back to writing or just let me publish one of these old gems


      August 30, 2009 at 5:23 pm

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