Ration Reality

hyperbolic excellence

The Olympics: Killing People With Sports

with 38 comments

Deviant wrote this for us.

Like Mussolini, he isn’t such a bad guy!

 

The Olympics: Killing People With Sports
-or-
Let Us Not Forget that Olympians Are Simply Glorified Dumb Jocks

I think it’s horseshit that news commentators are urging us not to politicize the Olympics, when the whole affair is already politicized from the beginning. When the Olympics committee decides to hold the Olympics someplace, it provides an economical boon to the local businesses. Tourism is bumped up and governments have the attention of the world where they can go ahead and pull off all sorts of propaganda shenanigans…

Jesse Owens publicly claimed Hitler wasn’t such a bad guy when the Olympics were held in Germany of all places. Yeah let’s not politicize the Olympics by having our athletes compete in Nazi Germany, way to go Olympics Committee, you just provided Nazi Germany with a 1 Million Mark profit which was probably shuttled right into the death camps.

I don’t like American Football, but I understand the power of their franchise, and if they wanted to hold the next Superbowl in Iran or go back in time and hold it in Mussolini’s Italy, I wouldn’t begrudge a few clever people protesting that fact.

And let’s be honest here, what exactly ARE the Olympics if not a showcase for dumb juiced up jocks? They were the same people who bullied you for being too smart when you went to high school, and now we’re expected to let them run around like maniacs pumping profits into whatever Banana Republic and Communist Empire wins the bid just so they can have a fun widdle compwetwitwion?

In short, fuck the Olympics.

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Written by The Bagel of Everything

April 10, 2008 at 1:17 pm

38 Responses

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  1. i can think of better things to fuck.

    and no, not vegetables.

    wdl

    April 10, 2008 at 1:23 pm

  2. Like me?

    Kevin

    April 10, 2008 at 1:25 pm

  3. I was thinking the po’lice, like fuck the police. Not Sting’s police.

    keywork.

    April 10, 2008 at 2:00 pm

  4. Typical Keywork.
    Police is so vulnerable. Don’t shot at it. It’s too easy. It’s not worth the effort.

    And Sting’s Police are even worse.

    E.

    Entomo

    April 10, 2008 at 2:10 pm

  5. I need a translator, pls.

    keywork.

    April 10, 2008 at 2:15 pm

  6. I think it is a shame that the athletes themselves are caught up in this.

    Ben Keeler

    April 10, 2008 at 2:16 pm

  7. I think it’s a shame that Mussolini is dead.

    keywork.

    April 10, 2008 at 2:17 pm

  8. Anybody read Inferno by Larry Niven and Jerry Pournelle?

    It’s Dante, updated…with Mussolini as hell’s tourguide.

    The Bagel of Everything

    April 10, 2008 at 2:24 pm

  9. I’m listening.

    keywork.

    April 10, 2008 at 2:32 pm

  10. Did anyone ever sea Tea with Mussolini, starring Cher?

    No one did.

    Kevin

    April 10, 2008 at 3:05 pm

  11. I didn’t have a chance to answer, but, no.

    keywork.

    April 10, 2008 at 3:07 pm

  12. I did! It wasn’t horrible!

    The Bagel of Everything

    April 10, 2008 at 3:07 pm

  13. Next you’re going to tell us that you enjoy Arby’s.

    keywork.

    April 10, 2008 at 3:09 pm

  14. Fuck the Olympics, make love to a Tibetan monk. THEN LIGHT HIM ON FIRE!

    Kevin

    April 10, 2008 at 3:12 pm

  15. Just make sure you don’t pay for it. That’s what free Tibet is all about. Not paying for sex.

    keywork.

    April 10, 2008 at 3:14 pm

  16. I enjoy Arby’s the same as I enjoy free sex with frosty slanteyes.

    With melted cheddar.

    The Bagel of Everything

    April 10, 2008 at 3:22 pm

  17. I’m the same way with garbage.

    keywork.

    April 10, 2008 at 3:30 pm

  18. You and your thesaurus!

    The Bagel of Everything

    April 10, 2008 at 3:30 pm

  19. Yeah. That’s how daddy rolls.

    keywork.

    April 10, 2008 at 3:37 pm

  20. Where micky be at?

    The Bagel of Everything

    April 10, 2008 at 3:37 pm

  21. He’s having technical difficulties today.

    keywork.

    April 10, 2008 at 3:40 pm

  22. Need help untumbing his ass, again?

    I’ll get the plunger, you get the margarine.

    The Bagel of Everything

    April 10, 2008 at 3:41 pm

  23. Check. ‘Untumbing’?

    keywork.

    April 10, 2008 at 3:42 pm

  24. I love how they actually extinguished the Olympic torch in France a couple of days ago. Had that ever happenned before?

    Soylent Ape

    April 10, 2008 at 5:04 pm

  25. Yes, the whole thing sucks, and will most likely intensify as the Olympic get closer.
    I loved the Golden Gate Bridge protest thing when they unleashed the giant banner…really cool to watch and then see those words…..
    Of course somewhere in America someone was probably saying, “Free Tibet? Is there a new dog food out for free?” I could just see some moron going into a store saying, “I saw on the news Tibet is free, do you have any left?”

    Freddy

    April 10, 2008 at 5:50 pm

  26. unthumbing

    The Bagel of Everything

    April 10, 2008 at 6:45 pm

  27. ???

    E.

    Entomo

    April 11, 2008 at 3:23 am

  28. Let’s face it, the Olympics represent little of the nobility for which they were originally intended. Professional athletes competing, foreign athletes competing for other countries, ubiquitous corporate sponsorships and tie-ins, etc… have reduced the Olympics to just another over-hyped sporting event like the Super Bowl–er, I mean, Big Game.

    Soylent Ape

    April 11, 2008 at 5:54 am

  29. Damn right Soylent Ape! If they weren’t completely corrupt, I might have some truck with the argument not to politicize the Olympics. But if you give the Games to China — and don’t think money didn’t have a lot to do with that decision — then you’re asking for it.

    BTW, Tibetan monk is very stringy.

    m.

    Mark

    April 11, 2008 at 9:06 am

  30. Those camps were being built during those olympics.
    I think the olympics are great.
    Its all the shit that comes with it that can get fucked

    micky2

    April 13, 2008 at 11:55 am

  31. um, I saw tea with mussolini.

    don’t forget, i am the paragon of jewiness, if its jewish, i’m watching it.

    and yes, i cried.

    along with all the other senior citizen women sitting next to me.

    so suck it.

    xo,
    WDL

    WDL

    April 13, 2008 at 2:48 pm

  32. Oh and as a final addendum, I throw this at you.

    http://www.nytimes.com/2004/08/14/sports/olympics/14torch.html?ex=1208318400&en=12150f3abc4873e7&ei=5070

    Hitler invented the Olympic torch relay!

    I rest my case.

    Kevin

    April 14, 2008 at 4:29 pm

  33. “Did anyone ever sea Tea with Mussolini, starring Cher?”

    No offense. But I’ve never seen any movie, starring Cher.

    “Of course somewhere in America someone was probably saying, “Free Tibet? Is there a new dog food out for free?” I could just see some moron going into a store saying, “I saw on the news Tibet is free, do you have any left?””

    There’s nothing wrong with being a sample whore.

    “Hitler invented the Olympic torch relay!”

    Hitler invented the internet, too.

    Stiletto

    April 18, 2008 at 10:46 am

  34. You didn’t see Mask?
    Dude! It’s the most unintentionally funny film of all time!

    The Bagel of Everything

    April 18, 2008 at 10:48 am

  35. Depends on what you’re sampling, Stil.

    keywork.

    April 18, 2008 at 10:48 am

  36. boob bacon?

    The Bagel of Everything

    April 18, 2008 at 10:51 am

  37. I thought there was something up with Cher’s face. I clearly had no idea she was wearing a mask!

    Stiletto

    April 18, 2008 at 10:51 am

  38. I’d sample that but only if it’s turkey. Much prefer to die of a heart attack from sausage intake.

    Stiletto

    April 18, 2008 at 10:52 am


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