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Italy Gripped by Wave of Hypnotic Crime

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Hypnotist Gives New Meaning to Phrase “Italian Job”

At times, checkout counters can have a hypnotic effect on us. There’s a rack of tabloid gossip rags shouting in our faces. The dissonant screams and bellows of kids that create waveforms that turn our minds inside-out. There’s the elderly lady in front of the line who’s trying to haggle the cashier over a dented soup tin and the scary revelation of just how many types of gum there are. No wonder our brains try to take us away from the horror of it all.

To wit, a customer in Italy is trying to further enhance the otherworldly checkout experience for his own fun and profit. Closed Circuit Television footage taken from a supermarket and a bank in Italy’s Marche region have shown a patron placing tellers into a suggestive hypnotic state and defrauding them of hundreds of Euros each. So effective was the trance that many of the employees didn’t realize what had happened until they were ready to count their tills at the end of their shifts.

Police in Ancona province, on the eastern Adriatic coast describe the suspect as being a well-dressed, bearded man in his 40s who appears to be of Indian, Pakistani or North African extraction. Some cameras showed a woman who appeared to distract some customers in queue while the suspect did his thing. Once in the hypnotic clutches of the dapper con man, the clerks seemed to move more slowly and with little concern for anything but his commands, which included handing over thousands of dollars in extra change. In each incident, the last thing the unsuspecting service industry denizens remembered before being robbed was the suspect leaning toward them and saying “Look into my eyes”. Seriously!

La polizia might wanna question this guy:

Sources: London Daily Telegraph – BBC NewsSydney Morning Herald – London Times

Related posts: Foiled again! – Perverts, Russians, and Democrats – Bad Day


Written by Soylent Ape

March 29, 2008 at 12:53 pm

Posted in crime, italy, news, world

52 Responses

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  1. This sounds like a job for Entomo!!!!!!

    SEO Hack

    March 29, 2008 at 1:16 pm

  2. In my day it was called a “flim flam”.
    The power of suggestion.
    Tell the clerk you need change for a twenty and hand em a ten.
    About 2 out of ten times you’ll make out


    March 29, 2008 at 2:03 pm

  3. @ SEO: Yeah, the area where this takes place isn’t too far from Milan. Entomo could have this case solved by next week.

    @ Micky: In some places (mostly on the East Coast, “gypsies” and Irish Travellers work that scam at gas stations and supermarkets. It still works, apparently.

    Soylent Ape

    March 29, 2008 at 3:53 pm

  4. I live and operate in NAPLES, South-Italy.

    Said that, my paranormal faculties don’t prevent me from being hypnotized as everyone else out there, but my ‘Blend’ ability (a sort of unconsciously-operating psychological “attraction” I exert on human beings) could ALSO act as defensive shield.

    I inject justice.


    March 29, 2008 at 4:49 pm

  5. @ Entomo – then c’mon man! jack that guy’s shit up! inject him with some friggin’ justice!!! yeah!!! a bonafide villian needs a bonafide super hero!


    March 29, 2008 at 4:56 pm

  6. Seohack,

    It’s my life. I’d do that if given the chance.

    Milan is the “main” city of North-Italy.



    March 29, 2008 at 4:59 pm

  7. Entomo: Italy isn’t all that big, is it?
    It’s a little bigger than Florida, but with way better public transportation….right?

    Can’t you hop on a train and catch the baddy? Or are there superhero jurisdictions?

    SEO: A mild reaction at the site of the justice injection is common. Consult your physician. If any of these rare but serious side effects occur, seek emergency care immediately: Spandex, lycra, catch phrases, growth of and/or changes in existing sidekicks.

    The Bagel of Everything

    March 29, 2008 at 5:10 pm

  8. @ Entomo: Sorry. For some reason I keep thinking you’re in Milan.

    Soylent Ape

    March 29, 2008 at 5:36 pm

  9. @ Entomo – ohh, i didn’t even think of you stepping on toes of superheroes in Milan, Entomo. sorry ’bout that. so who’s your arch nemesis in Naples?


    March 29, 2008 at 6:16 pm

  10. Chinese pizza


    March 29, 2008 at 6:20 pm

  11. The Orkin Man

    The Bagel of Everything

    March 29, 2008 at 8:13 pm

  12. Wow..this was insane! What a story. Vid was funny too.
    Haven’t seen any hypnotists in any of our stores here in LA – our Nasty Ass Thieves tend to use baby-strollers, over-sized sweat pants, and their bare hands as tools for stealing. And instead of hypnosis they use there big fuckin mouths to distract us. Of course they’re not getting thousands of dollars…maybe they should check out the Learning Annex!
    I could tell Nasty Ass Thief stories for days…..some days we would have three or four incidents right in a row…it’s so out of control!

    LA Retail Slut

    March 29, 2008 at 8:55 pm

  13. “who appears to be of Indian, Pakistani or North African extraction

    Are Muslims the European version of the ubiquitous “young black male” who’s always stealin white wimmin’s babies?

    The Bagel of Everything

    March 30, 2008 at 8:46 am

  14. Bagel,

    Public transportation in Italy is the WORST thing of “this” universe. I have girlfriends (and “friendly” mature women) scattered all around the country (which is far bigger than what you think), and pretty much know how it’s hard to move from one place to another here. (serious).

    Apparently, I have no archenemies. This is Real World, guys. I would like to have one, however… in order to be forced to push my boundaries even further.



    March 30, 2008 at 8:59 am

  15. Chinese pizzas are everywhere


    March 30, 2008 at 10:29 am

  16. We should start a site for real life super heroes and villains to be matched with eachother.

    The Bagel of Everything

    March 30, 2008 at 11:26 am

  17. Can I be a super hero too ?
    I wanna slay moonbats, squirrels, and sexually repressed Arabs


    March 30, 2008 at 12:19 pm

  18. Micky you are like the male version of Lisa Lampanelli – and I mean that as a total compliment:)

    LA Retail Slut

    March 30, 2008 at 12:32 pm

  19. Yea, thanks, I guess.
    But I dont think the costume would work. Unless I was playing a frustrated bitchy Sopranos wife.
    But I would play with my own tits.


    March 30, 2008 at 12:57 pm

  20. What should we call this guy ?


    March 30, 2008 at 1:00 pm

  21. No, micky. You have to be a villain. Neil Clark Warren demands it.
    You can be Entomo’s villain.

    Also, what’s wrong with a lady playing with her own tits?

    The Bagel of Everything

    March 30, 2008 at 1:04 pm

  22. LOL..yeah she looks like a frustrated bitchy Sopranos wife and she has some big knockers, but I think one she’ll shock the world tell us all she’s really a man in drag…

    Loved the pic…I believe it’s Darth Vader’s Mother – Kitty Vagina-Vader

    LA Retail Slut

    March 30, 2008 at 1:09 pm

  23. All women should play with their tits! Men too! Everyone should play with their tits!

    LA Retail Slut

    March 30, 2008 at 1:09 pm

  24. Bagel, I’m seeing Jason today…hoping to get you some nipple maybe…

    LA Retail Slut

    March 30, 2008 at 1:11 pm

  25. But I have no bone to pick with Entomo.
    I think we need more guys like him to ” spread the love”
    Entomo and I could start lining up some real pussy for these middle eastern camel fuckers.
    Then I’m sure they would see the light and stop blowing themselves up.
    Once you’ve had a really good “peace” of ass your whole life can change.


    March 30, 2008 at 1:15 pm

  26. If anything I’m sure Lisa owns a few strap ons


    March 30, 2008 at 1:16 pm

  27. No! Everyone should play with my tits!

    Nipple pics will work, but I prefer pelvis.

    The Bagel of Everything

    March 30, 2008 at 1:16 pm

  28. We could just help them get to their 27 virgins quicker.

    The Bagel of Everything

    March 30, 2008 at 1:18 pm

  29. Its 72 virgins dipshit.
    And obviously Allah never studied math.
    Because you have to kill 72 virgins in order to have them waiting for you.
    So… if you had to kill 72 virgins for every single martyr you wouldnt have any females left to procreate more virgins.
    Fucking idiots.
    No wonder these guys have been running the biggest clusterfuck ever in history.


    March 30, 2008 at 1:27 pm

  30. dipshit?

    The Bagel of Everything

    March 30, 2008 at 1:40 pm

  31. dip it in
    Dip It Low
    dip jew
    Dip Jock
    Dip Loin
    dip mode
    dip n dive
    Dip N Dot
    Dip N Dot Titties
    Dip N Dots
    dip n’ dot
    Dip n’ Dots
    Dip Nut
    dip nuts
    Dip Off
    dip on rollas
    dip out
    dip sack
    dip set
    dip shirt

    “Dip Shit”

    dip shits
    dip snap
    dip stck
    dip stick
    dip stop
    dip test
    dip that cookie
    Dip the bisquit in gravy
    dip the donkey
    dip the turtle
    dip the wick
    dip up outta here
    dip wad
    dip wadicus
    dip wafer
    dip wat
    Dip your bread
    dip your chip
    Dip Your Fair Share
    dip your plate


    March 30, 2008 at 1:53 pm

  32. But I meant it in an affectionate way


    March 30, 2008 at 1:54 pm

  33. Wow, that’s annoying.

    And now I want some Dip n Dots.

    The Bagel of Everything

    March 30, 2008 at 1:54 pm

  34. If my affections are annoying I’ll take it some where else where they havnt blocked me yet.


    March 30, 2008 at 1:59 pm

  35. The list, dipshit.

    Geez, you old guys sure are sensitive.

    The Bagel of Everything

    March 30, 2008 at 2:05 pm

  36. The list was an extended affection.
    There would be more dead people if I werent sensitive.
    Thats what why I would make a good super hero.
    I would only kill the ones who thought I wasnt sensitive.


    March 30, 2008 at 2:20 pm

  37. “Entomo and I could start lining up some real pussy for these middle eastern camel fuckers.”


    Great business, resounding cash. Let’s start a company right now. You’ll be my sidekick. Cut this “be a villain” crap. (wink).


    I’d be the first man to promote your terrific t*ts in the world. Proud of it, even.



    March 30, 2008 at 2:52 pm

  38. If Lisa Lampanelli turns out to be a man in drag, then I have some serious personal quiestions to mull over. Half of my relationships over the years have been big-nosed, bubble-chested broads who could summon a scorching insult at the drop of a hat.

    @Bagel/LARS: There’s a big difference between a shapely, smooth, comely female breast and a hairy, flabby man-teet. Playing with one’s own tits will be more fun for some than others.

    Micky would make a kick-ass superhero! He could use his culinary skills and mastery of deadly utensils to combat villainy throughout the islands. He could have a Maitre D’ as a sidekick and use catchphrases like “Justice is served” and “You’re going down like a bad souffle'”! It would be awesome!

    Soylent Ape

    March 30, 2008 at 3:01 pm

  39. Soy:
    I’m also a decent butcher.
    The pentagon was actually considering making a ” love bomb”.

    http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,281217,00.htmlThe Air Force Considered Gay ‘Love Bomb’ Against Enemies
    Tuesday, June 12, 2007
    The Air Force on Tuesday confirmed a report that in 1994 a military researcher requested $7.5 million to develop a non-lethal “love bomb” that would chemically alter the state of mind of enemy troops and make them want to have sex with each other rather than fight.
    If we could get our hands on the same chemicals we could do our job on a massive scale and be heros.
    I just dont want to be near any men when it drops.
    You and I could end up having turd children


    March 30, 2008 at 3:19 pm

  40. Micky,

    I have an enhanced immunitarian system. (relaxed).



    March 30, 2008 at 3:46 pm

  41. Well, you better stay away from me.
    I might get enhanced.
    But I’m sure its nothing a gask mask couldnt handle.
    Besides that I’ve built a giant flying racoon for Keywork.
    Being 5 miles high should eliminate any circumstance of unwanted contact with the chemicals.
    Fuck it, we’ll just drop some GHB on them, burn the burka factories and start printing some Arab porn without the camels


    March 30, 2008 at 4:01 pm

  42. Entomo could be like some kind of sex Santa Claus for Muslims.
    If he fucked every virgin in the middle east they would have a hard time finding virgins to ship to heaven for the martyrs.


    March 30, 2008 at 4:07 pm

  43. I imagine a “gay love bomb” would be a real morale killer when the enemy is a bunch of muslim terrorists.

    Why does a muslim terrorist want 72 virgins? Imagine how many times he’d have to yelp, “Watch the Teeth!”

    Soylent Ape

    March 30, 2008 at 5:17 pm

  44. I’m sure in some Soho dance club, there’s a drink called a Gay Love Bomb. (It’s just water, though.)

    Soylent Ape

    March 30, 2008 at 5:19 pm

  45. Astroglide on the rocks


    March 30, 2008 at 6:46 pm

  46. My nipples and pelvis are valuable. They are insured for millions!

    I am sending them your WAY! ………. Treat them NaUgHtY and NaStY!

    By the way, I am practicing to be a CUNTILIGUIST! …..the best in the world!

    Wish me LUCK!


    March 30, 2008 at 9:19 pm

  47. I’ve seen plenty of talking pussy already.


    March 30, 2008 at 9:20 pm

  48. My nipples and pelvis are insured for millions of Zimbabwe dollars.

    Soylent Ape

    March 30, 2008 at 10:05 pm

  49. Dont they use cows and goats for currency ?


    March 30, 2008 at 10:20 pm

  50. Soy, I’ll trade you 20 clamshells for your Zimbabwe dollars and I’ll throw in an elephant tusk. But you gotta careful handling Zimbabwe dollars cause you don’t know where the natives fingers have been!


    March 30, 2008 at 10:29 pm

  51. Zimbabwe’s rate of inflation is supposed to be over 1,000,000% by the end of the year. Right now, about Z$500=$1!

    Soylent Ape

    March 31, 2008 at 3:50 am

  52. With the price of ivory on the blackmarket, I’ll totally take the elephant tusk!
    And I do know where those fingers have been

    That’s a seriously nice nature trail you got there, Jason. It makes my girl bits happy.

    The Bagel of Everything

    March 31, 2008 at 5:39 am

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