Ration Reality

hyperbolic excellence

Tax Hike for Jim Jones

with 14 comments

Warrant - Dirty Rotten Filthy Stinkin Rich
County Assessor Hikes Resident’s Tax Value.
Property Owner Alleges Selective Retaliation.

Morgantown, WV– A property owner claims his recent assessment and property tax hike is unfair. Well, most of us would be prone to think that. However, this particular tax increased from $300 to nearly $4,700, or over 1,500%. Also, it happened shortly after Monongalia county Chief Deputy Assessor Bill Perry allegedly offered to buy the property and was turned down.

Jim Jones is the owner of a commercial building on University Avenue in the Notorious college town (home to West Virginia University). The building houses Spinning Jim, a specialty gym based on stationary bicycle spinning. This is an aberration in a city that consists almost solely of bars, beer stores, pawn shops, laundromats and some of the shoddiest housing this side of Kabul. When they’re not irradicating goal posts or burning upholstered furniture en masse, many WVU students choose to work out and every college town needs a place to help work off the mini-kegger one may have finished off the night before. Perry must have realized the potential for such a property, as Jones alleges the public servant offered him a cool $100,000 (that’s, like, 33,333 Jaeger-bombs) for the property, an offer Jones claims to have refused.

Jones has appealed to the Assessor’s Office, which has defended the assessment as being consistent with fair market value. Now, he has an appeal before the Monongalia County Commission, though he is not very confident, apparently. “I have no trust in the Assessor’s Office or the County Commission,” Jones stated. “I think the Attorney General and the Governor should actually send an independent audit up, get law enforcement involved…” Jones states tha he has filed a complaint with the West Virginia “Ethics” Commission, to hedge his bets.

If I could offer a bit of unsolicited advice to the public officials of Monongalia County it would be this: Remember the last time a disgruntled fellow named Jim Jones got hassled by the government over taxes. I don’t think a few thousand dollars is worth catching a few dozen rounds in the Guyanese jungle.

Sources: WBOY-TV ClarksburgCharleston Gazette – Morgantown Times
Art from Warrant – Dirty Rotten Filthy Stinking Rich

Related posts: Sentenced To Love – Rosh Hashanah, eBay, and land-swaps 
The West Virginia Chronicles, Vol. 1: Defeated by WV


Written by Soylent Ape

March 11, 2008 at 11:43 am

14 Responses

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  1. I lived in Morgantown when I was attending WVU. It’s nothing but run-down houses, convenience stores and bars. Even when the sun is shining, Morgantown looks dark and dingy. That town is the bleakest place this side of Scotland.


    March 11, 2008 at 9:44 pm

  2. Stacy…you are right. It is.

    WV has probably the most corrupted politicians this side of DC. More bribing goes on here than in the Mafia!

    uhhh…..hope no WV politicians read this blog. If you guys hear about me being found in an abandoned mine shift, you’ll know who did it.


    March 11, 2008 at 10:44 pm

  3. My family is in WV politics, and I promise you, you’re absolutely right.

    The Bagel of Everything

    March 11, 2008 at 10:47 pm

  4. Stacey, pardon the question, how long ago did you attend WVU? I’m asking because my favorite professor from my first college transferred there and directs the MFA in Creative Writing now. That’d be a smallish world. He was a great teacher. (Just don’t tell Bagel he writes poems. Gross!)

    The 'Goose

    March 11, 2008 at 11:10 pm

  5. Huhuhuh huhuh. that looks like Mongolia.

    see, it’s stories like this that make me glad we still have some of our second amendment rights left. me loves a good stand off!

    SEO Hack

    March 12, 2008 at 1:00 am

  6. I’ll bet that Spinning Jim’s serves Kool-Aid as a refreshment.

    Soylent Ape

    March 12, 2008 at 6:12 am

  7. just passin through to let you know im not dead…this story is ass! those poor people!
    Keep it blazed…
    Peace to RR crew!

    Stona Lisa

    March 12, 2008 at 7:40 am

  8. Guayana Punch? Did I get that right? Oh, here’s something entertaining: I locked my keys in my truck this morning. Feel free to point and laugh.

    Hot Keywork

    March 12, 2008 at 9:55 am

  9. ↑ hahahahahaha ↑

    The Bagel of Everything

    March 12, 2008 at 10:54 am

  10. Bitch. Thanks, though.

    Hot Keywork

    March 12, 2008 at 11:05 am

  11. What a sad, fucked up story. Like the fat cat pic.

    LA Retail Slut

    March 12, 2008 at 11:45 am

  12. The pic is from the cover of Warrant – Dirty Rotten Filthy Stinkin Rich.
    I never cared for the album, but I always loved the art.
    I credited it in alt but forgot to add a clickable notice on the post.
    I’ll do that now.

    The Bagel of Everything

    March 12, 2008 at 12:01 pm

  13. @ Stacey/TPB: Yep. They don’t call it “Morganhole” For nothing. I lived in Morgantown for a year or so. It was a paradise for college kids, but a nuisance for anyone else. It’s actually a very depressive place

    @ Stona: Glad to know you’re not dead! Come back anytime.

    @ Keywork: I’d crack up if they came put with a flavor like “Guyana Punch” or “Jonestown Cooler”.

    @ Bagel: I owned that record when I was a kid. By no means was it Moving Pictures, but it was still pretty fun to listen to.

    Soylent Ape

    March 12, 2008 at 4:32 pm

  14. Soy, the album was worthless.

    I do rather like the song Cherry Pie, and I’m pretty sure it really truly was about cherry pie. Jani Lane has a bit of a weight issue.

    The Bagel of Everything

    March 14, 2008 at 2:45 am

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