Ration Reality

hyperbolic excellence

In Japan, Coffee has You!

with 56 comments

Japanese bathe in chocolate, wine, tea, and coffee.

Related posts: Japanese are strange people – Exercise Might Save Your Life 
Urine my Way –  Programmed for love, she can be quite tender


Written by The Bagel of Everything

March 7, 2008 at 11:15 am

Posted in japan, news, video, world, youtube

56 Responses

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  1. Anti aging properties ? Shit will kill the kids, there ya go.
    What ? No beer bath ?
    No wonder these guys always look like they’re squinting.


    March 7, 2008 at 11:28 am

  2. Maybe those aren’t kids in the ricewine bath, micky.
    Maybe the anti-aging wine does work!

  3. If coffee, wine, and chocolates are a hit in Japan, I can only imagine how sucessful a Diet Coke bath would do here in Amercia. I’m calling The Donald!

    LA Retail Slut

    March 7, 2008 at 12:56 pm

  4. @ Bagel.
    Thats age reversal you moron. But holy shit ! Dont you have to be of a certain age to drink even in Yapan


    March 7, 2008 at 1:52 pm

  5. Thats Swedish for japan.


    March 7, 2008 at 1:53 pm

  6. Um…did micky just call me a moron?


    The Bagel of Everything

    March 7, 2008 at 2:05 pm

  7. More on yer face !


    March 7, 2008 at 2:13 pm

  8. Chocolate, rice wine, whatever you want baby


    March 7, 2008 at 2:14 pm

  9. Wait a minute, you’re the bosses daughter, scratch that.


    March 7, 2008 at 2:14 pm

  10. You’re our secret service, right?
    Protect me by harming yourself.
    That’s an order!

    BTW: If they’ve been in the pool for years, it’s not age reversal- they never grew old. Mormon.

    The Bagel of Everything

    March 7, 2008 at 2:17 pm

  11. NOoo leave Bagel alone, she has a sensitive nature!


    March 7, 2008 at 2:19 pm

  12. Marmot.


    March 7, 2008 at 2:20 pm

  13. Varmint

    The Bagel of Everything

    March 7, 2008 at 2:22 pm

  14. I like the good old fashion mud bath. Not that I would get in a tub full of mud but as a body wrap, yes. And beer is suppose to be good for your hair, I remember as a teenager buying shampoo with beer in it called Body on Tap. do you remember?


    March 7, 2008 at 2:22 pm

  15. I save my green & herbal tea bags in a ziplock in the freezer. When I get a bunch, I put them in the bathtub with me.

    Sometimes I open them up, mix them with seasalt, and have a good scrub.

    The Bagel of Everything

    March 7, 2008 at 2:24 pm

  16. And I could jack off on all your faces and charge you for the best astringent there is.


    March 7, 2008 at 2:28 pm

  17. I just bought healing seasalt’s today with all kinds of minerals in it. It’s scrumptious.


    March 7, 2008 at 2:29 pm

  18. Its a secret service


    March 7, 2008 at 2:29 pm

  19. yes but the sperm need to be alive.


    March 7, 2008 at 2:30 pm

  20. No, micky! You selfish monkey!
    That semen is needed to fight world hunger

    The Bagel of Everything

    March 7, 2008 at 2:33 pm

  21. Does secret service come with ‘happy ending’. I’ll pass on the facial, give mine to Bagel.


    March 7, 2008 at 2:38 pm

  22. All secret services come with a happy ending.


    March 7, 2008 at 2:39 pm

  23. Well Bagel, seeing as how you’re the bosses daughter, looks like you’re gonna starve to death


    March 7, 2008 at 2:44 pm

  24. Sea salt, damn good stuff; even heals body piercings up quickly. Urine is supposed to be great for the skin. Facial or urine…? It’s Friday, *looks at watch* so many decisions, so little time. (just kidding)


    March 7, 2008 at 3:32 pm

  25. So Bagel, what time are we meeting to go kidnap micky2 and chain him to a bench at the Hollywood Bath House?

    La Retail Slut

    March 7, 2008 at 10:18 pm

  26. Ever seen a bunch of queers get benched ?
    Choking on the splinters.


    March 7, 2008 at 11:06 pm

  27. you’ll be choking alright…

    La Retail Slut

    March 7, 2008 at 11:33 pm

  28. Oh god. here I go again having to deal with these idiot bitches threatening me with Hollywood bath houses again
    “you’ll be choking alright”
    Listen ya little fucking bubble gum stuck in yer braces dont know how to suck dick bitch.
    You’re gonna have to do a lot better than that to even get me to worry about threatening you.
    First of all. In my profession I dont do kids, ask Bagel.
    And if you keep this “Pee Wee Herman” shit of yours up I’ll introduce you to the machine.
    Go watch your Hanna Montana video and stop stealing your moms cigarettes


    March 8, 2008 at 12:23 am

  29. LMFAO…you crack me up…your rant is indeed funny considering I’m a gay adult male (and I suck dick like a porn star asshole) Jesus you think you would have gotten a clue about that from the bath house joke – I’d rather go watch South Park and steal my Mom’s pot…and you call Bagel a moron…hmmmm…and that’s it I’m done. I’m sure you’ll have the last word because you seem to like that.. I said what I said cause you were a douchebag for calling Bagel a moron. Whatever dude. Just lay off her or I’ll sick Retail Hell Underground’s Carolanne, Morticia, and Regan on you and you don’t fuck with angry Retail Bitches…

    La Retail Slut

    March 8, 2008 at 2:18 am

  30. d: Ever used olive oil to wash your face? If not, you should try it. Make sure your skin is good and dry, massage in some oliveoil, wipe it off with a dry cloth as good as you can. Sounds like it would cause a breakout but it doesn’t.

    LA: I’ll bring the sharpies to draw a big smilie face on his bum.

    micky: “I dont do kids, ask Bagel.” <– the sex offender database seems to disagree.

    The Bagel of Everything

    March 8, 2008 at 2:24 am

  31. Hey slut, you do what you do well since I mistook you for some ditsy bitch teenager.
    By the way. I have a niche for pissing off oversensative hags who think they’re funny, ask anyone. You guys seem to love to dish it out but someone when backhands you against the wall you blush and start crying.
    I love Bagel, shes cool, its worth tolerating her shit. And she knows that if anyone fucked with her I would hurt their feelings
    So as far as clues go, you need some. Cuz Bagel and I have been beating each other around for a while now.
    Piss of punk,my mother used to buy my pot for me and I shoot fucking speedballs and watch snuff flicks, and none of it belongs to either of my parents. Come to think of it, you could be one of my offspring, but your mom wont tell, or just doesnt know.
    Porn star ? With a name like La Retail Slut it sounds more like you hide in dressing rooms and gargle cum for free.


    March 8, 2008 at 10:05 am

  32. Bagel, I perfer almond oil or safflower with a few drop of essential oil. Mine favorite is lavendar. I did massage for three years.


    March 8, 2008 at 10:25 am

  33. @ Micky: I had a girlfriend once who believed that the proteins and aminopeptides in semen were the key to healthy hair, skin and nails. She must have been onto something, because hers always looked great! Needless to say, she was a lot o’ fun!

    @ Key & Cap: Do you know any way to set up a pay-per-view for the next time Micky and another reader kick up another jab-fest? I think we could turn a handy profit.

    Soylent Ape

    March 8, 2008 at 10:52 am

  34. Soy
    I’ll do it for free. The proceeds go to RR.
    That girl must of worked you to death. Was it ingested or applied ?


    March 8, 2008 at 10:58 am

  35. @ Micky, it could be both. A good blow job helps plump a girl’s lips as well. If she does it right. So before I go sing or get a picture taken, or go out. Or really anything I love to give it. Always good to give head. It is just a plus that it tastes good and helps keep my skin clear and my hair strong. Sorry, that may have been a little tmi.

    @ L.M.N.O.P., porn star assholes suck dick? What? And that makes you good how?

    @Bagel, email sucks. Period. This is making me mad. Mad is not good. Mad is bad.

    lil bit shorty

    March 8, 2008 at 12:02 pm

  36. Soy, we’re actually working on. I’m up for anything that makes a dollar and man can he run with it. I don’t know what I would do if I were face to face with him cause the diarreah would really flow out. I don’t think he would ever shut the fuck up.

    And please y’all stop putting the @ symbol in front of everyone name, it’s so formal and it sounds so rude.


    March 8, 2008 at 12:33 pm

  37. @ Cap
    love ya. The last guy that ran with me shut down Bellvue.
    @ Lil Bit
    You’re too kind. Its never enough onfo.


    March 8, 2008 at 1:41 pm

  38. @MG BOY FIGHT!!!

    LA’s my new friend, kids. Thanks for giving him a good hazing. He’ll feel like one of us now :)

    Also, anyone notice that of all the big strong menfolks around here, the only ones who were chivalrous enough to defend sweet, innocent little me were the gay ones? That says alot out you other guys.

    Wait, what does that say about me?

    The Bagel of Everything

    March 8, 2008 at 2:03 pm

  39. Bagel.
    Defend you ? Key specifically brought me into this clusterfuck to keep an eye on you.
    Chelsea is not alive because her parents love her or cuz shes really pretty.
    Bill & Hill pay well.
    Oh, by the way. I would like to extend a big welcome to the K mart slut.


    March 8, 2008 at 3:07 pm

  40. Is that kind of like a blue light special? Or is it blue ball special in this regard? Anyway, welcome slut.

    lil bit shorty

    March 8, 2008 at 5:20 pm

  41. Welcome, LA Retail Slut! Your blog is really funny. Thanks for coming around.

    @ Cap: I can’t get out of the ampersand rut. I’m a fucking creature of habit.

    @ Micky: Well…er…she was, um, a swallower.

    @ lil bit: K-Mart is often a blue ball situation. All those trailer-dwelling checkout girls with the big hair and heavy make-up–ahhh…

    Soylent Ape

    March 8, 2008 at 6:36 pm

  42. Thanks Soylent! Love your stuff as well and Bagel is a Goddess. And thanks for the welcum Micky, but my Retail Slutness is affiliated with a high end store that starts with an N, not the big K. I do feel bad for the K-mart Retail Slaves tho, we have a few of them on the underground…the retail hell shit they must endure…that store was actually open all day on thanksgiving.

    LA Retail Slut

    March 8, 2008 at 7:22 pm

  43. I really hate K-Mart. It’s not because of their staff, their service or their product mix. It’s because of the money their dog of a stock lost me!

    Seattle-based, high-end department stores with Swedish names are fine in my book, except that I can’t afford to shop in them.

    Hey, Micky: Did you read about this? As the product of a totally-mismanaged public school system, it seems so alien to me that a school might have a chef. Those lucky bastards probably get Beef Burgandy, Cobb Salad and mineral water. For me, it was a good day in the lunch room when I could actually identify what my meal was.

    Soylent Ape

    March 8, 2008 at 7:52 pm

  44. Soy,
    Theres a lot of very talented cooks out there. They get it.
    Cooking is not that difficult once you learn the chemistry and the gastronomics.
    The rest is all creation and imagination.
    The only time you really have to adhere to any strict method is baking. A little to much of this or that can fuck up everything.
    Problem is that a lot of people confuse Chefs with really good cooks.
    A true Chef is educated in mutiple culinary fields as well as food saftey and even rest. mngmnt. Butcher, sauces, pastry and dessets buffet pres. ice carving etc…
    A lot of TV celebrity chefs are just glorified cooks. Bobby flay can eat my shit.
    I’m not surprised that a school cafeteria cook out did some well educated chef.
    I spent 7 years studying Chinese Kempo and I’ve seen guys come in off the street and kick the shit out of instructors.
    A lot of guys are very educated. But if you put them in an industrial situation with 12 waters screaming at them and 50 orders on the wheel they fall apart.
    In my short order days I would crank ( yes crank) out 300 breakfast an hour by myself.


    March 8, 2008 at 8:09 pm

  45. It’s a very different environment in a restaurant than in an institutional situation. I meant no slight against true chefs. I know they have to know their shit. It’s an extremely-competitive field. I just find it amazing that there are school children eating food prepared to a chef’s specifications.

    A friend of mine–an ex-cop–studied Kempo (Okinawan style) during his time on the force. He was the go-to cop when it came to take-downs.

    For the most part, both cooking and martial arts are still mystifying to me, though. Any suggestions on where to start?

    Soylent Ape

    March 8, 2008 at 9:02 pm

  46. I must of read the article wrong. Doing a school is pretty much banquet style, its nothing to sneeze at.
    I cooked for two treatment centers and due to popularity it got to a point where we we’re serving to the public also. none of the clients usually have any insurance or funds by the time they need help so we took the profits and sunk it into the place, worked out pretty cool.There are kick ass chefs out there who can burn with the best in hectic atmosphere on the line. Then theres the guys that specialize in other areas.
    i made it a point to learn as many different areas of the business as I could. Front and back.

    I would study some form of martial dicipline first and apply that kind of execution and commitment to my cooking. And then check out basic fundamentals, like short order coffe shop basics just to learn the chemistry. All you need to do is learn what substances, materials and mediums work together and the rest is up to you, the possibilities are endless.
    I started my studies at Kapiolani culinary institute when I was 16 and then studied managment at the UH later. By the time I was 17 I had 4 years of Kempo under my belt and could short order cook like a fucking Ninja. Every move had purpose.
    I love cooking for small partys. I dont like the industry so much anymore unless its front of the house where I can wear a Tux and drink my ass off. Being surrouded by so much booze is not a good idea anymore. but I do enjoy the artistic end , ice carving, sugar works, vegetable carving and buffet set ups


    March 8, 2008 at 9:47 pm

  47. Bagel is a Goddess.

    Yes. Yes I am.

    But what am I goddess of?
    Demeter has fertility, Hera has marriage, Aphrodite has love and beauty, Hemera has daylight.

    Oh! I can be goddess of snark and abuse of authority.
    Call me Satiranny

    What shall be my rituals and sacrifices?

  48. Bagel is the goddess of gummy bear nipples.


    March 9, 2008 at 11:58 am

  49. That would be her nipples, not the bears.


    March 9, 2008 at 12:00 pm

  50. Bagel, are your minions called the Bialy of Everything Else? can we be?
    @ is not an ampersand. & is an ampersand.
    and, I think little bitch with bubblegum stuck in her braces don’t know how to suck a dick is maybe the best chick beat-down line I’ve ever heard.


    March 15, 2008 at 5:40 pm

  51. Thanx, Rowan. What do you call “@”, then?

    Soylent Ape

    March 15, 2008 at 6:14 pm

  52. Rowan: Probably

    Soy: ‘at’, short for ‘at the rate of’

    The Bagel of Everything

    March 15, 2008 at 6:58 pm

  53. Thanks Rowan, I try.


    March 15, 2008 at 7:08 pm

  54. Bagel, immediately stop reading my mind. you will get lost in here, I guarantee it. Although, it would be nice to have company—–


    March 15, 2008 at 11:37 pm

  55. @ Bagel: In German, @ is called Klammeraffe, the German equivalent to the English “Spider Monkey”, due to its appearance. I guess I thought there was a specific term for it in English. I just did a search and, apparently, the correct, formal term is “at sign”.

    & Rowan: Doubt it’s possible. Bagel can’t find her way out of her own mind..

    Soylent Affe

    March 16, 2008 at 12:57 am

  56. micky: you keep me pleasantly entertained.

    rowan: what soy said.

    Soy: ‘at’, ‘at sign’, ‘at symbol’…whatevs. It isn’t wise to play pedantic games with your editor.

    The Bagel of Everything

    March 16, 2008 at 3:13 am

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