Ration Reality

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RIP-IA: Jeanne Tripplehorn

with 33 comments

Rest in Peace

(in advance)

Jeanne Tripplehorn

Jeanne Tripplehorn

1963 – 20??

As I am writing this, the ever lovely Jeanne Tripplehorn, that hot naked chick from Waterworld and Basic Instinct, has not died.  To the best of my knowledge, she isn’t ill or injured. However, we beings of this mortal coil will each have our last day. 

One of my greatest fears, the elephant on my chest when I’m trying to sleep, is that she will pass on a day when I’m simply too busy, stoned, or sleepy to write a proper sendoff for such a kind, generous, well-endowed lady. So, Jeanne, I’m writing this in advance of your eventual passing. May it be many years from now.

Jeanne began her media career as Jeanie Summers, a D.J. at Tulsa radio station KMOD. The Julliard trained actress soon moved on to the big screen, with roles in such notable films as: Basic Instinct, The Firm, Reality Bites, Waterworld (one of my favorite films), and Very Bad Things.

Recently, she has seen work on HBO’s series Big Love. Though not as memorable as Kevin Costner’s webbed feet or Sharon Stone’s cooch, her role as Barb Henrickson finally got her the much deserved recognition that propelled her popularity beyond other stars’ body parts, regardless of their hairiness, smelliness or inherited deformities (really, Sharon, keep the legs crossed).

Ms. Tripplehorn is deeply missed by her family, close friends, teenage boys looking for naked chicks without having to get into their fathers’ sock drawers and her surprisingly militant fan club. Her family has asked that no flowers be sent and instead donations be made to the RationReality Museum of Fine Art.


I think that’s Jeanne kissing another girl. Enjoy it until YT pulls it.
(It’s being weird right now. If it doesn’t play, try this link)

Special thanks to our good friend SEO Hack, for writing the latter half of this post for my lazy ass.  His is one of the blogs Soy and I read regularly. If it’s good enough for us, it’s good enough for you. So go read it motherfuckers!


Future RIP-IA posts will be filed here.

More Too Long; Didn’t Read Biographies:
Jesse Owens – Thomas Edison – Egon Schiele

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Written by The Bagel of Everything

November 4, 2007 at 3:15 am

33 Responses

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  1. yeah-the vid didnt work, and it wants you to sell your soul by signing up on their site to view its Adult Content….fuckers, off to read me some SEOHack…

    Stona Lisa

    November 4, 2007 at 1:39 pm

  2. Stona: Adult content is always worth a little bit of your soul.

    bagel of everything

    November 4, 2007 at 2:00 pm

  3. How about a donut? That’d have to be a really awesome donut.

    Soylent Ape

    November 4, 2007 at 2:44 pm

  4. i agree with the adult content

    and i appreciate the “death send-off” too. i want one. you know…because when yer already dead whoo really cares right?

    Sissy

    November 4, 2007 at 3:11 pm

  5. That previous comment wasn’t me. It was Spank. But NOW it’s me. And I am a huge fan of the real time eulogy. Because Spank is right. Who the fuck cares after death? I want people to know what I think of them BEFORE they go. Eh?

    Sissy

    November 4, 2007 at 7:45 pm

  6. @ Sissy (#2): “Eh?” Are you a Canuck?

    Soylent Ape

    November 4, 2007 at 8:19 pm

  7. No. But I play one on T.V.

    Kendrick Coach

    November 4, 2007 at 9:43 pm

  8. Again, with the fucking identity!

    No. But I play one on T.V.

    Sissy

    November 4, 2007 at 9:44 pm

  9. And Jeanne wasn’t a slouch in ‘The Firm’ either – helped take my mind off the fact that Tom Cruise was in it.

    Frontier Former Editor

    November 4, 2007 at 10:08 pm

  10. Oh my god, you scared me! You BITCH! lol

    Stiletto

    November 5, 2007 at 8:20 am

  11. who scared who?? who is the bitch? sissy i hope….

    spank

    November 5, 2007 at 10:30 am

  12. I always thought Jeanne was hotter than Sharon. (raccoon noises)

    keywork.

    November 5, 2007 at 12:35 pm

  13. Sissy, Spanky: You kids play nice!

    FFE: I also hate the Cruise. He totally ruined Kubrick’s final work.

    Stil: teee heeee

    KW: Sharon Stone is creepy

    bagel of everything

    November 5, 2007 at 4:14 pm

  14. Bagel: yes, she is. and I hate Cruise for that reason as well.

    keywork.

    November 5, 2007 at 4:16 pm

  15. I hate Cruises because of the motion sickness and Norwalk virus outbreaks. I’m not usre how a Cruise ruined Stanley Kubrick’s last work, though.

    Soylent Ape

    November 5, 2007 at 5:44 pm

  16. Jeane’s lip could suck start a Harley. And yes, Bagel – Bagel is the bitch!

    I loved Sharon Stone in Casino.

    Stiletto

    November 5, 2007 at 5:48 pm

  17. I can’t take Cruise seriously. He is monkey and makes me want to laugh.

    Sissy

    November 5, 2007 at 5:53 pm

  18. No offense, Ape.

    Sissy

    November 5, 2007 at 5:54 pm

  19. eyes wide shut, ape.
    Stil: So I need to buy a Harley.

    keywork.

    November 5, 2007 at 5:55 pm

  20. That just made me want to have sex. With a mask on my face.

    Sissy

    November 5, 2007 at 10:35 pm

  21. It usually does.

    keywork.

    November 6, 2007 at 12:06 am

  22. “Stil: So I need to buy a Harley.”

    Nah – sucking the chrome off a trainer hitch ball is much more rewarding.

    Tom Cruise is a douchebag. Poor Katie. I bet he probes her vagina with the alien penises he has stashed in his basement.

    Stiletto

    November 6, 2007 at 8:44 am

  23. I keep mine in the coat closet.

    Sissy

    November 6, 2007 at 10:55 am

  24. I bet he probes her vagina with the alien penises he has stashed in his basement.

    Stiletto: You know some pervert is going to search for those very keywords, right?

    bagel of everything

    November 6, 2007 at 2:09 pm

  25. Stil: bowling ball through a garden hose. that’s got to be more entertaining.

    keywork.

    November 6, 2007 at 5:22 pm

  26. That’s just masochistic, Keywork.

    Stiletto

    November 6, 2007 at 6:05 pm

  27. “Stiletto: You know some pervert is going to search for those very keywords, right?”

    Can’t wait.

    Stiletto

    November 6, 2007 at 6:05 pm

  28. Stil: it is.

    keywork.

    November 6, 2007 at 6:15 pm

  29. @ Stiletto: “You don’t know the history of alien penises, Stiletto. I do!” What a fucking nutjob.

    Soylent Ape

    November 6, 2007 at 6:49 pm

  30. @ Sissy: None taken. Save for Key, we’re all primates here.

    Soylent Ape

    November 6, 2007 at 6:50 pm

  31. […] November 4, a new series began here at RationReality, in which we celebrate the lives of our favorite […]

  32. Speak for yourself, monkey boy

    The Bagel of Everything

    February 22, 2008 at 5:36 pm

  33. […] posts: TLDR Biographies: Egon Schiele – Shirley Temple is Creepy – RIP-IA: Jeanne Tripplehorn « Dear Internet: I think something’s stuck […]


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