Ration Reality

hyperbolic excellence

The Chicago Bulls Logo Conspiracy

with 55 comments

When I was a child, someone showed me the Chicago Bulls logo, upside down, and pointed out that it was, in fact, a robot sitting on a park bench reading the bible.  My little mind was blown. 20 plus years later, I look at the logo and no longer see the bull. Just an upside down robot priest…

You, dear reader, have seen the proselyting robot menace, haven’t you?

I’ve made an art to clarify the danger we face:

Chicago Bulls Logo Conspiracy

The trippiest triptych

Why are they doing this? What do these robot overlords want from us?
Please, America. Rise up against the cybernetic oppressors before it’s too late!

they will kill your babies

Everything makes more sense when poorly animated.

 

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Written by The Bagel of Everything

September 25, 2007 at 7:35 am

55 Responses

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  1. Darling Daughter,

    I see it now. Yes…a robot priest with a protruding beer gut reading Second Corinthians on an altar with side stabilizers.

    Plain as day.

    As you know I’m A HUGE Texas Longhorn fan, as is my ex-lover KeyCoon. As much as I hate to admit it, the longhorn logo looks a hell of a lot like a woman’s uterus and fallopian tubes.

    If I knew how to insert an image here in the comments section I would.

    I love the Horns and hate like hell that it looks like a woman twat, but so be it. The fucker always give me cramps when I look at it.

    Oh yeah, I’ve fucked a Longhorn—player!

    LK

    lauriekendrick

    September 25, 2007 at 8:43 am

  2. …and killing babies. You forgot that part. Babies. He’s killing them. Damned robots.

    Mommy, you’ve had alot of gentlemen friends. I sure wish I could be as popular as you.

    Unfortunatly, you can’t put pics in comments, but you can put the link to the pic and ppl can click to see it.
    http://www.sportslogos.net/logo.php?lo=2653

    bagel of everything

    September 25, 2007 at 8:45 am

  3. @Bagel, you will be.
    @Robot: don’t fuck with raccoons.
    @LK: Fallopian tubes indeed. You have fucked alot of things.

    keywork

    September 25, 2007 at 8:51 am

  4. Maybe the robot is Iranian and actually reading the Koran and not the bible…at least that would help explain the destruction of the WASP baby?

    whatpushesmybuttons

    September 25, 2007 at 8:57 am

  5. Perhaps, chris.
    I wish I was better at the arts. The scene needs dead baby rape.

    bagel of everything

    September 25, 2007 at 9:04 am

  6. Yes Keywork and if by “things” you mean a dead homeless guy, Marcel Marceau’s gay butler and of course, the varmint that IS a raccoon, then yes..yes I have fucked a lot of things.

    jealous?

    lauriekendrick

    September 25, 2007 at 9:06 am

  7. Awe, mommy and daddy come to visit me and start name calling and fighting right away…just like a real family!

    bagel of everything

    September 25, 2007 at 9:07 am

  8. @Bagel: this is exactly why things never worked out between your mother(whore) and I.
    @LK: Remember that I wash and eat with the same tongue.

    keywork

    September 25, 2007 at 9:16 am

  9. It’s OK Bagel.Mommy and Daddy are just as you say…perfectly normal, as human/raccoon connubially bestial relationships go.

    Here, take some of your child support money and buy something shiny.

    lauriekendrick

    September 25, 2007 at 9:17 am

  10. Stupid raccoon lawyers.

    keywork

    September 25, 2007 at 9:26 am

  11. Yessir….’twas the best work that Bostcoon Legal EVER DID!!!!!

    lauriekendrick

    September 25, 2007 at 9:33 am

  12. “Here, take some of your child support money and buy something shiny.”

    Child support?
    Ohhh…you mean your liqueur money.
    Goldschlager is shiny…

    Now go play my game with me!!!!!!

    bagel of everything

    September 25, 2007 at 9:38 am

  13. I knew that shit was happening. Damn this furry existance!

    keywork

    September 25, 2007 at 9:39 am

  14. So KW! You finally admit it!
    You’re one of them!!!!!

    bagel of everything

    September 25, 2007 at 9:42 am

  15. I was playing and I gotstuck on the questions about RR’s presidential endoresement.

    For some reason, Hillary Clinton won’t fit in the allotted squares!!!

    BTW, you know how Hillary and Bill met, don’t you?

    It was back in college. They were both dating the same chick.

    lauriekendrick

    September 25, 2007 at 9:46 am

  16. […] dwachtel wrote an interesting post today!.Here’s a quick excerptWhen I was a child, someone showed me the Chicago Bulls logo, upside down, and pointed out that it was, in fact, a robot sitting on a park bench reading the bible. My little mind was blown. 20 plus years later, I look at the logo and no … […]

  17. @Bagel: woah, daughtercoon, don’t go throwing your father in with that bunch. I still have feelings sometimes. And I thought Zombie Reagan was your candidate of choice. I may have suspicious habits but none of them involve dressing up like an animal.

    keywork

    September 25, 2007 at 10:04 am

  18. looks more like a robot overlord giving Eeyore the ol’ oral exam, if you catch my drift.

    Thank god this ain’t a Rorshach test or something . . . .

    Frontier Former Editor

    September 25, 2007 at 12:41 pm

  19. They should assign a robot priest to every human priest…

    Cut down on those lawsuits.

    Jim

    September 25, 2007 at 2:34 pm

  20. @ jim: or just eliminate religion altogether – that would solve a whole helluva lot of problems…

    stepher

    September 25, 2007 at 3:36 pm

  21. Jim:

    The Electric Monk was a labour-saving device, like a dishwasher or a video recorder. Dishwashers washed tedious dishes for you, thus saving you the bother of washing them yourself, video recorders watched tedious television for you, thus saving you the bother of looking at it yourself; Electric Monks believed things for you, thus saving you what was becoming an increasingly onerous task, that of believing all the things the world expected you to believe.

    -Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency – Douglas Adams

    bagel of everything

    September 25, 2007 at 3:46 pm

  22. you sure it ain’t reading Hustler? If I were a robot sitting on a park bench, I’d be reading Hustler. And if someone were to get all pissy with me for reading pornography in a public place I’d just tell them “Hey, I’m a robot. I know nothing of this pornography you speak of” and keeping reading Hustler.

    seohack

    September 25, 2007 at 4:44 pm

  23. ONLY IN AMERICA

    Kevin

    September 25, 2007 at 6:01 pm

  24. the dead baby at the end is a nice touch, bagel.

    stepher

    September 25, 2007 at 6:20 pm

  25. why would you apologize in advance for a robot priest freak post?

    criminyjicket

    September 25, 2007 at 6:22 pm

  26. FFE: “looks more like a robot overlord giving Eeyore the ol’ oral exam”
    Yeah, I don’t see it. Sketch it for me?

    SEO: lulz! But then, there would be no decapitated baby, and that would just be wrong.

    Stepher: Yeah, I was thinking of you.

    CJ: To win you back!

    bagel of everything

    September 25, 2007 at 8:00 pm

  27. Just imagine Eeyore on his knees before his robot overlord

    Frontier Former Editor

    September 25, 2007 at 10:53 pm

  28. Wow! I can totally see Eeyore fellating a robot! The power of suggestion is an amazing thing.

    Soylent Ape

    September 26, 2007 at 12:26 am

  29. I’m a traitor. I’ve been worshipping their leader for years…

    Arm Jerker J.

    September 26, 2007 at 8:47 am

  30. “SEO: lulz! But then, there would be no decapitated baby, and that would just be wrong.”

    well, if the robot was programmed with a protocol that had an erection function, perhaps then . . . .

    SEOHack

    September 26, 2007 at 5:33 pm

  31. I KNEW those crafty bulls had more going for them than just Michael Jordan. Thanks for bringing this to the forefront of the blogosphere where it belongs.

    the frogster

    September 28, 2007 at 2:41 pm

  32. @ Frogster: Welcome to Ration Reality! Now we know the truth about Da’ Bullz. All that “Zen” stuff Phil Jackson was doing–it was really his method of relaying information back to the invading force. …and don’t get me started on Rodman!

    Soylent Ape

    September 28, 2007 at 5:12 pm

  33. This blew my mind. My mind is blown.

    I need to sit down..

    kev

    September 28, 2007 at 9:17 pm

  34. FFE: Still not seeing it. I’m not good at the spatial. Help me to SEEEEE!!!

    AJJ: Did you get probed?

    SEO: If you build it, they will cum.

    SA: Rodman is so not an alien. He’s a wanna be. A wannalien, if you will.

    Frog & Kev: Join us in the fight to save humanity!

    bagel of everything

    September 28, 2007 at 9:37 pm

  35. Okay . . . .

    The robot’s holding Eeyore’s ears. Eeyore’s mane is parted and the back of his head is furrowed – most likely in anticipation of (all together, class . . . .) a donkey punch or just the gag reflex of swallowing an alien robot schlong.

    Frontier Former Editor

    September 28, 2007 at 11:11 pm

  36. @ FFE: “Donkey Punch” is coming up more often on ЯR. At least it’s better than, you know…that
    .

    Soylent Ape

    September 29, 2007 at 6:25 am

  37. Wait…a donkey punch to the cartoon tiger giving you head is not a smart idea.
    Unless you’ve planned ahead and knocked out his teeth.

    bagel of everything

    September 29, 2007 at 6:48 am

  38. Bagel: I wish. And I would have let him do it just about anywhere.

    Arm Jerker J.

    September 29, 2007 at 3:01 pm

  39. Is it no coincidence that Sylvester Stallone was behind that 80’s masterpiece of pseudo-historical overdrama, F.I.S.T. ?

    Frontier Former Editor

    September 29, 2007 at 7:57 pm

  40. nothing to ein back Bagel. I’ve been busier than a singapore whore when the fleets in town is all.

    criminyjicket

    October 2, 2007 at 5:15 pm

  41. I lived and worked in Chicago during the second championship threepeat. I even walked the streets some evenings in a jersey with a prominent Bulls logo. Now I am aghast to think that I might have unwittingly advanced the clockwork Christians’ agenda. Curse you, St. 3PO-D2!

    Demonweed

    October 30, 2007 at 1:09 am

  42. @ Demonweed: Kinda like that movie They Live, isn’t it?

    Soylent Ape

    October 30, 2007 at 6:11 am

  43. that looks like a drewid reading the satanist bible

    sata

    November 28, 2007 at 7:17 pm

  44. And killing babies, sata. Why do you people keep leaving that out? It’s like crucial.

    bagel of everything

    November 28, 2007 at 8:28 pm

  45. We’re famous!
    Goto answers.com and search for Chicago Bulls (or just click this link) – scroll way down to ‘external links.’

    The Bagel of Everything

    February 4, 2008 at 9:31 pm

  46. […] posts: The Chicago Bulls Logo Conspiracy – You Can’t Handle the Tooth  « Books that Exist: Rejuvenation and Unveiled […]

  47. Hmm.. I wonder if any other NBA logos have this? Or is it just chicago? Off to check the white sox logo….

    Jacob

    July 19, 2009 at 9:45 am

  48. you need contrast between the priest, the book and the podium. he’s not very easy to spot.

    Russell

    July 19, 2009 at 10:00 am

  49. […] Chicago Bulls Logo Or Robot Reading A Book On A Bench? [pic]rationreality.com […]

  50. […] on your way out, will you? Not that one, the other one. Yeah, with the dino on the cover. The Chicago Bulls Logo Conspiracy […]

  51. You’re also now on http://www.geekologie.com

    Stephanie

    July 20, 2009 at 10:27 pm

  52. […] on your way out, will you? Not that one, the other one. Yeah, with the dino on the cover. The Chicago Bulls Logo Conspiracy […]

  53. So many time to waste

    Carlos

    July 21, 2009 at 4:31 pm

  54. […] on your way out, will you? Not that one, the other one. Yeah, with the dino on the cover. The Chicago Bulls Logo Conspiracy […]

  55. There is a conspiracy

    SEO Company

    July 22, 2009 at 6:28 am


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