Ration Reality

hyperbolic excellence

It’s really just like a chocolate craving

with 10 comments

As our faithful readers know, we at RR are moderatly entertained by incomming searches. I often google the more interesting ones myself. I suppose it’s ego-surfing for bloggers.  When a search came in for “crack reality”, I had to check it out. Alas, we were not the number one google result. Something much better was.

CrackReality.com’s list of Things Crackheads Say!

A little find/replace action and we’ve got:

RationReality.com’s list of Things Bloggers Say!

  • “I am using cocaine to wean myself off the blog!! You just do not understand!”
  • “When you say blog it sounds so bad, that’s why I call it coke”.
  • “That’s all in the past now; I realized I could either have you or blogs, and I love you too much to lose you”
  • “You know, I don’t say anything about that Paxil you take.  It’s the same thing. Your addicted to Paxil.”
  • “I am the king”
  • “There is someone in the bushes again”
  • “Get this straight: I am a blog addict.  But I am not a blog head. Believe it or not, there is a difference.”
  • “I don’t have sex with the women.  We just blog together.”
  • “It’s really just like a chocolate craving”
  • “It’s not a physical addiction.”
  • “I just have to go there one more time, just to say good-bye to my friends.”
  • “I cant help it, it calls me…….”
  • “What makes you think you’re entitled to the truth?”
  • “I’m not addicted – I haven’t got an addictive personality.”
  • “I wouldn’t touch any of them. Have you seen what they look like?”
  • “My life isn’t nearly as exciting as you seem to think it is.”
  • “I get such a rush out of controlling other people’s minds, I am so much smarter than everyone else, and I can control anyone’s mind” (said during a blog binge)
  • “I am not strong enough to quit”
  • “This is the last post, I promise.”
  • “You think you own me.”
  • “I have missed too much of my kids life, I promise I am not blogging ever again.”
  • ” Why do I have to report to you? Who do you think you are? “
  • “I am a blog addict because you don’t trust me!”
  • “If you give me more freedom I can quit!”
  • “Can you look for another job for me? I know you’re at work, but I’m tired here at home…”
  • “Why don’t you trust me? I’ve never blogged! I know I told you I blogged but I made it up!”
  • “I do it to help me sleep.”
  • “You have serious issues.”
  • “I love you madly, however I am a very unhappy person.”
  • “I want you to have my babies.”
  • “I’m just a recreational blogger.”
  • “Can you pay tonight?” (For whatever….
  • “I didn’t get to a bank machine today so I don’t have any money on me.”
  • When I blog I have no feeling in my groin area whatsoever.”
  • “Things are looking up.  I worked three days this week.”
  • “Don’t be giving away the family secrets.”
  • “I drank some energy drinks and they made me feel funny.”
  • “My stomach is upset. I think I have diarrhea.”
  •  “We need to build trust. Why don’t I take that $100 bill, go get Taco Bell, and bring you the change?”
  •  “I wish I were dead!!!”
  • “I know I’m such a failure. Why do you have to remind me?”
  • “My friend owes me money. Borrow me some and I’ll pay you back.”
  • “Growing up I had child hood problems.”
  • “blog addicts are filthy people, I’m not like that”
  •  “I know I’m an addict,  Why are you being so mean to me telling me that?”
  •  “Why are you trying to change me?  I don’t do that to you”
  • “I know judges and lawyers that blog, how bad can it be”

-bagel

See also:

Yo momma, in 500 jokes

You people disgust me

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Written by The Bagel of Everything

July 29, 2007 at 10:02 pm

10 Responses

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  1. I’m not aware of anyone who has sold her baby for chocolate.

    Soylent Ape

    July 30, 2007 at 6:20 am

  2. I would sell my cat for chocolate. Only during certain times of the month, however. Ok, let me compromise – I would allow you to humiliate my cat with lots of lol for a piece of chocolate.

    Stiletto

    July 30, 2007 at 8:14 am

  3. If I had a baby, I’d totally sell it for wordpress upgrades.
    That’s why they don’t let people like me have babies.

    My fave:
    “When I blog I have no feeling in my groin area whatsoever.”

    bagel of everything

    July 30, 2007 at 10:34 am

  4. “Bloghead”! Love it.

    But I can quit anytime I want. In fact, I have, several times.

    Metro

    July 30, 2007 at 5:24 pm

  5. Metro: Quitting is easy. It’s the not doing it anymore that’s hard.

    (I’m not sure what that means but it sounds good)

    bagel of everything

    August 3, 2007 at 7:12 am

  6. Gives new meaning to the Led Zep song, I Can’t Quit You Baby. I can see it now, a despondent net addict slices his wrists over the keyboard.

    Stiletto

    August 3, 2007 at 2:38 pm

  7. Stil: Perhaps seeking sweet, sweet relief from carpal tunnel?

    bagel of everything

    October 2, 2007 at 9:41 am

  8. Sweet relief, exquisite pain. It’s the same for some of us.

    Definitely cheaper than seeing a doctor.

    Stiletto

    October 3, 2007 at 5:31 pm

  9. […] It’s really just like a chocolate craving […]

  10. […] posts: Happy fun time with Charlie Manson Crack Reality – Confessions of a pizza delivery girl « Italy Gripped by Wave of […]


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