Ration Reality

hyperbolic excellence

Real Life Superheroes: The Revenge

with 98 comments

STOP THE PRESSES! The man, the mystery, the enigma, known as SUPERHERO has spoken!

THE SEQUEL TO THIS POST CAN BE FOUND HERE. 

The other day was one of those rare occasions when none of the four of us had anything to say, so we threw up a post from a guest author, the inestimable Hurricane Sluttina.  Her post was about Real Life Superheroes.  It didn’t attract that much notice for us at the time – presumably anyone who wanted to read it had already read it, over at her blog.

But then came Zetaman.

it's ZETAMAN!

When he was spotlighted in Sluttina’s article, I didn’t even bother to click on the link to his name.  I just looked over it and thought he was simply an asshat that likes to cosplay.  But it turns out that Zetaman is actually a genuine real life superhero, with a genuine ego.  How do we know he’s got an ego?

 Because he vanity-searched himself, and found us down at the bottom of the second page of results.  And he grew resentful.  And his wroth was mighty, and great.  He stabbed the red styrofoam sword of justice deep into the heart of Ration Reality, and told all his friends about us, too.  (Although there is another alternative search through which he could have found us …  only Zetaman knows the truth.)

Sadly, I cannot show you the context for this, as the thread was locked and you need to have a password to get into the site, but this is what he said:

I wish this webblog was actually funny. I am kind of disappointed really.

http://rationreality.com/2007/06/20/real-life-superheroes/

http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=12158970&blogID=278248916&Mytoken=8B4CB589-F459-46D4-888A297B8F8C206B4080438
Totally my fault for responding. Oh well, it’s just the internet. There are millions and millions of sites out there. In any case, if these critics are so hardcore, why can’t they make a difference and bury us in the ground with their good deeds? Lazy maybe? Easier to talk tough behind a computer. At least I have fans now. Woo Hoo!

 And then the flood hit.  Within a matter of hours, we had hundreds of hits on that article, most of them with a trail of stale cracker-crumbs leading right back to World Heroics.  Now, obviously superheroes must have their Fortress of Solitude, and this group is very lucky that they didn’t have to go to the Arctic for theirs.  Also, it seems to be built around standard computer technology, vice Kryptonian crystals and such.  Makes it easier to get repairs and replacement parts, I guess.

Zetaman seems to be a genuinely nice guy, actually.  I was perhaps a little harsh to him when I said that he had bumped the furries back to number two in my list of things that suck.  In response to his snipe about ‘why can’t they make a difference … with their good deeds,’ I would like to ask him how many tons of cocaine he’s had a hand in intercepting?  How many drug dealers have you sent to hell, or even simply put behind bars?  How many refugees have you rescued at sea?   I’ll give you a hint, here: for these questions I’ve just asked, my answers are all greater than zero.

And then we met Entomo, the Insect Man.

****EDIT: FOR ACCURACY PURPOSES, IT SHOULD BE NOTED THAT ENTOMO IS ACTUALLY LOCATED IN NAPLES, NOT MILAN.  I APOLOGIZE FOR ANY CONFUSION THIS MAY HAVE CAUSED, AND FOR INADVERTENTLY INSULTING THE PEOPLE OF THE FINE CITY OF MILAN BY ASSOCIATING ENTOMO WITH THEM.****

He’s an Italian, a self-proclaimed ‘Real Life Spider-Man in Milan.’   I can only assume that the Greek letter Sigma on his … I hesitate to call it a ‘uniform’ … is in homage to the ‘not-Real Life Spider-Man,’ because I fail to see how an S could possibly stand for Entomo.  But, I digress.

With the traditional Italian chauvanism, he insulted us right off, claiming that our Head Bitch What Be In Charge was not, in fact, posessed of the right plumbing to be a bitch.  (Those who know Bagel know that she is very definitely a bitch.)  His objection was on technical grounds: nobody with girl-parts could possibly choose that name.

His philosophy is simple: “We’re not your average big thing. We’re the future. The “phenomenon” (as you call it) is growing BECAUSE more and more honest and sincere Superheroes are popping up day by day.”  He goes on to say: “We’re the future. We’re setting the difference. In the moment you see me, I’m doing the difference. In the moment I’m performing a good deed, small or big, I’m saving the world.”

He has a very simple, but very catchy, tagline:  “I INJECT JUSTICE.”   I am grateful for this – until now, I never knew what to call that tickly feeling that comes just before a burst of uncontrollable laughter.

But these aren’t the only two Real-Life Superheroes out there.  Oh no, there’s plenty more.

. 

Due to a special request, I’m including SUPERHERO in this entry.  I am somewhat shocked at the ego contained within this name.  His goals are noble, though.  He wants to help the children.  With the skin-tight uniform and bald head, I’m scared to ask what he’s helping the children with, but I’m pretty sure it’s not their homework.  Be afraid.  Be very afraid.  Just like the child in this picture.

.

.

.

There’s Zeitgeist, a UK-based superhero!  The dictionary defines ’zeitgeist’ as ‘the spirit of the time; the spirit characteristic of an age or generation,’ and suggests alternate words such as ‘flavour,’ ‘feel,’ ’smell,’ and ‘tone.’  As in, ‘it left a bad flavour in my mouth,’ or ‘it had the smell of stupidity about it.’  As in ‘he really dragged down the tone of the event,’ or ‘it felt odd, like when that creepy old man at the park touched me in the bathing suit area.’  And let me tell you: click on his website at your own peril.  The eye-gouging red and orange of his page’s design will touch you in the bathing suit area of your mind, if nothing else.

But Zeitgeist is an educated superhero.  His tagline is in Latin: “quis custodiet ipsos custodes.”  Only a true scholar could know about Plato’s question in The Republic, and could pick out the poet Juvenal’s lovely phrasing.  Or someone who watches Justice League Unlimited, Star Trek: The Next Generation, and reads Watchmen.

But all of Zeitgeist’s good qualities are, sadly, sublimated behind the balaclava.  One of these masked men is Zeitgeist, the other is Shitegeist, a notorious terrorist from the PIRA.  Could it be that Zeitgeist is on an infiltration mission into the heart of the Irish liberation organizations?  Or is Shitegeist merely Zeitgeist’s evil twin?  (Actually, since we’re using pseudo-intellectual German words here, perhaps I should have said doppelganger.)

Only thing I can tell you here is, Britons beware!  The next time you see some dumbass running down your streets in a balaclava, watch out!  It might not be the Provos or Al Qaeda:  it might be the mighty Zeitgeist, solving crimes and freeing the oppressed!

Moving on back to America, we meet SQUEEGEMAN(tm)!  (Please note: his name is trademarked!  I hope he does not sue!)  This prime specimen of American beefcake is twenty-seven years old.  He has appeared on ABC’s Nightline, alongside the mysterious turban-wearing Captain Xavier Obvious. 

Squeegeeman(tm) is … he’s …

Fuck.  I’m not sure what to say about him that the picture doesn’t already say.  Except that perhaps if he’s looking for a sponsor, he should try Crest White Strips.  This picture here could serve as his ‘before’ picture.  In, say, a week or so he could do the ‘after’ pic. 

 But wait!  There’s more.  We simply do not have enough time to address all of the world’s Real Life Superheros in this one article.  You’ll have to wait for future installations for that!

The superheroes, or stuporheroes, as I like to think of them, have taken exception to the way they were portrayed in our first article.  Here at Ration Reality, never let it be said that we don’t offer a fair chance to everyone to be accurately depicted!  Our Head Bitch What Be In Charge has made repeated offers to the underwear perverts to post any rebuttals they care to make.  So far, nobody has dared to step out from the oh-so-emo shadows for long enough to do it.

So let me repeat the invitation here:  if you would like to explain why, as a real life superhero, you should not be taunted, go HERE and send us an email.

 

Excelsior!

-Jesse Custer


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Written by jessecuster

July 3, 2007 at 12:56 pm

98 Responses

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  1. What do these people do exactly that makes them heroes? This guy took a bullet – no costume and no crazy trademark names. Regular kid, much more super.

    AndyDrew

    July 3, 2007 at 1:29 pm

  2. LOL thanks for including me :) Just me, Can’t speak for every Superhero, I knew I was in for Taunting when I started doing this. I’m sure I DO deserve it, I’m just glad it’s in such a Intelligent well written humorus way. Anybody wanting to see more of my shinanigans look here.

    Superhero

    July 3, 2007 at 2:04 pm

  3. Oh and Andy, Yeah that kid in the article was a Hero alright. Do you know if he lived? the acrticle didn’t say.

    Superhero

    July 3, 2007 at 2:21 pm

  4. Lol pretty well written article- I agree with superhero here =)

    Firstly: The balaclava is going to be replaced- I already know it looks too much like a burglar or terrorist for my likings.

    Secondly: No- I actually took latin as a subject in secondary school at gcse level.

    Zeitgeist

    July 3, 2007 at 2:39 pm

  5. @ Superhero: Yup, he did. The real tragedy was it got no press.

    AndyDrew

    July 3, 2007 at 3:00 pm

  6. hah…this super hero nonsense is much, much deeper than i thought. thanks for making the world more aware of their presence. maybe we need a united front of anti-superheroes that confuse the masses with our intellect and good will. And then when the “superheroes who are supposed to do good” end up screwing up, the anti-superheroes will banish them once and for all! (btw i prefer not to use the term villians for fear we’d be lumped into some kind of category of evil, alongside George W. Bush and Floyd Landis)

    WhatPushesMyButtons

    July 3, 2007 at 3:21 pm

  7. LOL! Ya know, what you’re saying might just happen. we have always wondered “If we exist, does that mean Super VILLAINS will exist?” Kinda like balancing out the universe & stuff.

    Superhero

    July 3, 2007 at 3:25 pm

  8. Oh and Andy, I DO see that as a tragedy, and sensationalistic press. This kid REALLY does someting heroic, and the news blows it off. I help at the side of the road and feed people & I get all kinds of coverage. There is something horribly wrong about that. i think it’s one of the reasons people look down their nose at what i do.

    Superhero

    July 3, 2007 at 3:29 pm

  9. I think there is a hero in all of us. The whole of humanity has such potential to do good to one another. No, we have no super powers, and yes some of us wear masks to hid our identities because we do not want the recognition of doing good deeds. So I ask you, what is so wrong about doing good? What is wrong about humbling yourself? Does society say we must all be “normal?” Why not have another persona, one that stands for beliefs of righteousness? I for one have my own gig. I feel that informing the populace of wanted and missing persons is important. I have also done night patrols in which I have stopped a few people from making the wrong choices. Sometimes the police can not be everywhere at once…so why not help out a community and be a voice, be a symbol, be an example for others?

    I hope you learn more about us and what we stand for, I think your ideas of us may change once you get to know us. Thank you

    Regards
    -Slapjack

    Slapjack

    July 3, 2007 at 4:55 pm

  10. It’s exactly for that reason – because the police can’t be everywhere – that I own guns.

    One reason I wish I was back in Maine, with you … it’s a lot easier to carry concealed there than it is here in the People’s Republik. In Maine, if you can own it legally, you can carry it concealed. Wintertime was always such fun with an H&K G3 on a combat sling under my overcoat.

    I miss Maine.
    Hell, I miss WINTERTIME.

    Jesse Custer

    July 3, 2007 at 5:21 pm

  11. I’m going to take off my “cynical bastard” hat here. Perhaps some of these guys are living a childhood fantasy. Perhaps some want to be a larger-than-life personality with a strong moral foundation for kids to look up to. Perhaps some have the skillz to do it fer-rills. Whatever the case, I only have 2 issues:
    First, what do the local authorities think about these crime-fighters. Do they have the support of the state/territorial/provincial and local police? Do they have any issues with any federal authorities in their area?

    Secondly, what kind of training do they have? Will they be able to look out for themselves and not put others in harm’s way. If you want to be eyes and ears, staying back and letting those who are professionals take care of criminal matters, more power to them.

    Apart from those things, as long as their acts/attitudes don’t negatively impact anyone else, they are simply living the freedoms guaranteed by their respective societies.

    Soylent Ape

    July 3, 2007 at 6:44 pm

  12. First, what do the local authorities think about these crime-fighters. Do they have the support of the state/territorial/provincial and local police? Do they have any issues with any federal authorities in their area?

    I have a real strong relationship with Clearwater PD. They kinda unofficially let me opperate and I have even donated equipment to the dept.

    Secondly, what kind of training do they have?
    Let’s see, licensed CPR, First responder trained, Police academy Grad, ex- military, Was Boxer, Pro- Wrestler. You mean like that?

    Superhero

    July 3, 2007 at 11:02 pm

  13. Superhero, I’d say that for the most part … you’re minority.

    Jesse Custer

    July 3, 2007 at 11:20 pm

  14. Can’t argue with that, but remember I’m Bald & old. a lot of these guys can barley shave and haven’t had time to sharpen their teeth yet. Not that I “trained my whole life for this” or any such nonsense. I did all that stuff trying to get a job, then just kinda fell into this.

    Superhero

    July 4, 2007 at 12:07 am

  15. Superhero: You’re like my new favorite person. You rock! Even if your costume does look kinda like Ronald McDonald

    Bagel of Everything

    July 4, 2007 at 1:41 am

  16. Age and treachery beats youth and speed any day, huh?

    Don’t forget, though … the ‘knife / gunfight’ rule is definitely in effect. Please tell me that you -do- have a CCW permit?

    Jesse Custer

    July 4, 2007 at 1:42 am

  17. “Real Life Spider-Man”.

    It was a blog I wrote on ANOTHER (possible) Real Life Superhero here in Italy, whose appearance is identical to famed comic book character ‘Spider-Man’.

    I’m not ‘Spider-Man’, neither I pretend to be ‘Spider-Man’. He doesn’exist, you know.
    And I’m not located in Milan, definitely.

    But wait… everything seems good in order to have fun, right? It’s the philosophy behind the new generations.
    What are you CREATING? What are you DOING with your life?
    This blog. “Hate” is the only thing you know.

    We’ll keep up the good work for you anyway.

    I INJECT JUSTICE.

    Entomo The Insect-Man

    July 4, 2007 at 5:42 am

  18. ARE YOU SQUEEGEE-BLIND? MY TEETH ARE SQUEEGEE-SPARKLING WHITE TO COMPLIMENT MY DASHING GOOD LOOKS AND SQUEEGEE-CHARM! ALSO, CAPTAIN OBVIOUS WEARS A SPECIAL POLICE HAT, NOT A TURBAN. AND WHY AM I AT THE BOTTOM OF THE ARTICLE? I SHOULD BE THE VERY FIRST SUPERHERO YOU READ ABOUT! JUSTICE SHOULD BE BLIND, NOT JOURNALISM!

    SQUEEGEEMAN

    July 4, 2007 at 9:36 am

  19. YAY!!! Squeegeeman is HERE!

    Superhero

    July 4, 2007 at 11:19 am

  20. Even if your costume does look kinda like Ronald McDonald…

    …yeah me & squeegee are the two most colorful characters in the community. we didn’t get caught up in the whole emo Batman thing…well, maybe Adam west batman. Huge fan.

    Superhero

    July 4, 2007 at 11:21 am

  21. Please tell me that you -do- have a CCW permit?…

    FL, is a BIG CCW state, castle doctrine & all, and I’m a Gun collector. But carry one on patrol? I just don’t know, I’ve bantered that decision alot, but I just don’t know.

    Superhero

    July 4, 2007 at 11:26 am

  22. So, Superhero & Squeegeeman…

    I imagine that you bring a smile to people’s faces, especially children. Do you visit schools and such? Try to be a mentor? That would be cool.
    And, do you dress in your uniform everyday? Weekends? When you get the signal from the commissioner?

    Bagel of Everything

    July 4, 2007 at 11:30 am

  23. I work alot of hours, so I try to Pick & choose my targets when i wear my uniforms, but I manage about two patrols a week, and yeah, I teach kids how to be superheroes & hand out stickers at schools & such as well.

    Superhero

    July 4, 2007 at 11:49 am

  24. And yeah Squeegee vists kids as well, there is a great video of him & Capt. Obvious playing guitar & singing at a hospital on youtube.

    Superhero

    July 4, 2007 at 11:51 am

  25. I can totally respect that. Hell, I might even do something like that…ya know, if I wasn’t so lazy and self absorbed.

    But what do you mean by patrol?

    Bagel of Everything

    July 4, 2007 at 11:56 am

  26. Jesse,

    http://technorati.com/wtf/superheroes/2007/07/03/real-life-superheroes-crimefighters-or-simple-unde-1

    So you hate us THAT much. Are you earning from it? What’s your satisfaction? Tell me. I think your article is even more disrespectful than the original one.

    My question is: why? What’s the point?

    E.

    Entomo The Insect-Man

    July 4, 2007 at 1:28 pm

  27. A patrol is when I suit up, go out in the supermobile, Look for homeless guys to feed, bring lunch to cops, help people at the side of the road, whatever comes up. A good example of a patrol is what I just blogged on my myspace if you want a idea.

    Superhero

    July 4, 2007 at 2:26 pm

  28. Wow, E, you really DO google ‘hero bashers,’ don’t you? It’s truly amazing that you have any time left at all for any kind of superhero work. :D As for why I do it? Because it’s fun. And because there’s people like you and that fruitcake Tothian out there, doing what you do. But also because there’s people like Superhero and Squeegeeman and, yes, Angle Grinder Man too, doing what they do.

    Superhero – it sounds like you did some pretty good stuff last night. Certainly more productive than sitting at home in a crusty insect-suit and hunting for people that are making fun of you. :)

    Jesse Custer

    July 4, 2007 at 2:38 pm

  29. Sadly, from what I’ve heard Angle Grinderman is out of the buisness, but I hope that’s a myth.

    Superhero

    July 4, 2007 at 3:31 pm

  30. I would have so much respect for them if they were supervillians. I think I need to build death ray or start punching children…just to test there crime fighting prowess.

    AJ Valliant

    July 4, 2007 at 6:14 pm

  31. It took me 5 seconds to find that disrespectful comment. I can sacrifice such an insignificant amount of time, do not worry.

    It’s not fun at all. We’re fighting the good cause, not playing to a silly ‘Dungeons and Dragons’ play table (like someone among you suggested) or whatever you call that. We’re not delusional “nerds”, but very balanced and skilled people set to make the difference in the world.

    On a side note, I did NOT insult you. When I talked about “ignorance”, I talked about the undeniable fact you were not willing to learn about our movement. Apparently.

    Still, I’m learning to not bother much with such (disrespectful or polite) attempts to destabilize and/or “invalidate” our movement.

    This is my last post. Good luck with your lives. I wish you the best. If given the chance, I would save your life.
    That’s the purpose of my existence. That’s my path. That’s my mission.

    I INJECT JUSTICE.

    Entomo The Insect-Man

    July 4, 2007 at 6:26 pm

  32. “When I talked about “ignorance”, I talked about the undeniable fact you were not willing to learn about our movement. Apparently.”

    Um…
    How many times have I asked you to educate us on your movement? How many times have I extended the olive brance via our submissions link? Geez…Do you even know what your movement is? I’ve asked, and you’ve not answered.

    Except for Superhero, who explained (a few comments above) what it is to him, and I can totally get behind his work.

    Entomo, I did a bit of digging, and found that you’re a joke and an embarrassment to your “fellow” RLSH’s. That being said, I hate for you to leave, because your rants crack me the fuck up.

    Bagel of Everything

    July 4, 2007 at 6:50 pm

  33. I can only speak for myself, but clearly everyone here has seen our Myspace pages that usually (in my case anyway) explain much more than I could say here about what we do. Is there some reason that people can’t just look there before asking us to repeat ourselves and explain what we do?

    You can also check out my team’s site at http://www.superquad.org

    Thanks for all your support!

    Captain Prospect

    July 4, 2007 at 8:12 pm

  34. Hi Capt! The Cap is right, he’s also being modest. He’s a social worker/Superhero who does a lot of good for young & old alike in the DC area.

    Superhero

    July 4, 2007 at 8:20 pm

  35. ” but clearly everyone here has seen our Myspace pages ”

    Um, doubt it.
    Your myspace pages have probably gotten a few hundred hits from our lovely readers, but I seriously doubt even 1/10 of readers have visited. Most of them don’t even read these comments.

    Bagel of Everything

    July 5, 2007 at 4:33 am

  36. Hello there, I saw this on Zetamans blog. I noticed I had a punchable face, not quite sure what that means but ok LOL.
    I am not a “Real Life Superhero” but have been involved with them. There are a lot of great guys and some idiots involved. I currently am running a community organization that has to do with superheroes. It is called the Worldwide Heroes Organizatio(WHO). The WHO does community patrols, charity work, civic activities, school assemblies, children hospital visits, and much more. We don’t do all this in a costume, but only certain events. We use the the iconicism of superheroes to get a message across that there is a hero in everyone and we like to help show people how they can give back to their communities. There are many organizations doing a lot of the same stuff, but what sets us apart is the superhero twist. It is rewarding and a lot of fun also. The superhero twist also garners media attention, we were featured on fox news’ national morning show and I will be on a Michigan talk radio show on the 9th. It is rewarding and a lot of fun also.
    The WHO website is http://www.WorldWideHeroes.org
    Were just getting started up, go to the website if your interested in getting involved.

    Take it easy on the Real Life Superheroes, some are blaitantly delusional, but most of them are good people looking to genuinley give back to society.
    And to the Real Life Superheroes don’t take yourselves too serious; there website is about making fun of people.

    Chris Guardian

    July 5, 2007 at 4:46 am

  37. In all regards,

    Your digging might have been wrong, since nobody in the community I belong to ever considered me as being a “joke”. Said that, I do my patrols, risk my life when given the chance, and I’m also going to do some charity appearances in orphanages as well. It’s just that my debut was in May, I’m relatively “new”.

    Now, Bagel. I’m going to submit an article for RATION REALITY. I’ve also offered my MySpace friendship to you all, including your husband. Hope it’s the beginning of a collaboration in order to promote OUR activity. Ok?

    (ouch, that was supposed to be my last post). (wink).

    E.

    Entomo The Insect-Man

    July 5, 2007 at 5:25 am

  38. ON A SIDE NOTE, I contacted Jesse yesterday. I didn’t get any answer from him… yet.

    E.

    Entomo The Insect-Man

    July 5, 2007 at 5:28 am

  39. @chris: Well said, but I wonder if you’ve actually read any of our articles?

    @Entomo: Sure, bring on the submission and friend request. Jesse doesn’t really ever check his myspace, but he checks our shiny new collective one: myspace.com/rationreality

    Bagel of Everything

    July 5, 2007 at 5:46 am

  40. Bagel,

    I’m in the process to slightly re-write my piece on the movement. Could you wait just a little bit? I live two lives, and sometimes extra-time looks like a luxury.

    Good ol’ language barrier. I’ve to refine the article, that’s for sure.

    I repeat it: ‘Real Life Spider-Man’ was (supposed to be) a NEW Real Life Superhero here in Italy, it’s not ME. And I live and operate in NAPLES. Why don’t you fix that? (wink).

    E.

    Entomo The Insect-Man

    July 5, 2007 at 5:56 am

  41. I wasn’t rushing you, take your time with the article, so long as I have it within the hour *wink*

    This is Jesse’s post. I prefer not to edit my authors’ works once they’ve gone up. I’ll pass the word on to him.

    We are a 4 person writing team. If you wanna see the things that I write, click my name. (Some things there were posted by me because they were contributions from outside writers, but they clearly state such).

    Bagel of Everything

    July 5, 2007 at 6:15 am

  42. Good, Bagel. I’ll read something written by you when I come back home. In the middle of night.

    E.

    Entomo The Insect-Man

    July 5, 2007 at 6:29 am

  43. Sorry, I couldn’t resist.

    http://www.thewebcomiclist.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=1000

    Bagel, you’re turning us into celebrities. There’s no need to fill the net, really.

    (smile)

    E.

    Entomo The Insect-Man

    July 5, 2007 at 7:25 am

  44. Clearly Ration Reality featured me with link to my Myspace page along with a photo of myself, so I am sure they were able to find their way to my page without reading the comments section.

    Captain Prospect

    July 5, 2007 at 8:24 am

  45. That’s cuz its all about you, Capn Prospect!
    Fuck the homeless, the raped virgins, the mugged nuns. We are here to promote Capn Prospect and all his glorious uniforms.

    Horray for Capn Prospect!

    (oh, and ectomo: again, that was JC and not me)

    Bagel of Everything

    July 5, 2007 at 10:23 am

  46. Thanks for your support!

    Captain Prospect

    July 5, 2007 at 11:24 am

  47. I’m a member of WHO, I was involved in there Xmas Hospital toy drop last year, (Where my article Pic came from) I support the org. strongly

    Superhero

    July 5, 2007 at 12:58 pm

  48. You don’t know anything about Naples or Milan. You just ridiculize yourself this way.

    Line crossed. Goodbye.

    I inject justice.

    Entomo The Insect-Man

    July 5, 2007 at 2:01 pm

  49. Superhero: I respect that very much. I do some (not enough) volunteer work myself. I can almost see the reason behind the uniform for those instances. I mean, not only must it be exciting for the children to see a superhero, but also you’re covering your identity is more saying “I’m not doing this for notoriety” whereas some of the other guys seem to be screaming the opposite.

    Entomo:WTF are you talking about?
    Naples? Milan? Who the hell is talking about Naples and Milan?

    bagel of everything

    July 5, 2007 at 2:09 pm

  50. Entomo-

    I know plenty about Naples. That’s where the US Sixth Fleet is based.

    I was in the Navy, remember?

    Jesse Custer

    July 5, 2007 at 2:12 pm

  51. I’d really like to hear some opinions regarding tothian’s threats against me

    Somehow, it doesn’t seem very heroic to threaten a lady. I didn’t even do anything!

    bagel of everything

    July 5, 2007 at 2:22 pm

  52. It’s why I dropped off of Heroes Network. My cop friends at the gym were none too thrilled about it. They have even told me, “You see, THIS is why we get along with you. YOU don’t cross the line, YOU are actually trying to help.”

    Superhero

    July 5, 2007 at 4:00 pm

  53. Oh and I just read the other thread where the guy mentioned “The Watchmen”. Yes, it’s my favorite book, Yes I’ve read it four times, yes I see the Simularites in the characters & us, Yes I wear a “Comedian Pin” on my gimmick. I also don’t want the ‘keene act” to get passed so I don’t threaten people.

    Superhero

    July 5, 2007 at 4:02 pm

  54. Alan Moore is pretty good.

    I, obviously, prefer Garth Ennis, tho. I also like Warren Ellis …

    Jesse Custer

    July 5, 2007 at 4:13 pm

  55. How about Alex Ross?

    Superhero

    July 5, 2007 at 4:36 pm

  56. His art is pretty good … but it doesn’t really feel very comick-y.

    For cover art, it’s hard to beat Tim Bradstreet, really. Steve Dillon and Darick Robertson are easily my favorite interior artists, especially when their work is combined with the writing of Ennis and Ellis.

    And Big John Buscema, too! How could I forget his classic work from the 80’s?!?!?! One of the best black-and-white artists out there. And then there’s Frank Miller too …

    Jesse Custer

    July 5, 2007 at 4:41 pm

  57. Ya know, one thing that does twizz me off, (And you guys didn’t say it some guy said it on the other thread) I’m NOT 140 lbs. I’m 220, a powerlifter, And am considered to be “the Knuckledragger” of the hero community. I’m proud of that title, and have plenty of evidence to back it up on myspace :)

    Superhero

    July 5, 2007 at 4:41 pm

  58. Jeff Loeb writes a good book too.

    Superhero

    July 5, 2007 at 4:46 pm

  59. I think I’m gonna pick up that H.A.T.E. book.

    Superhero

    July 5, 2007 at 4:46 pm

  60. Shit, Superhero, I -saw- the pictures.

    You don’t think that simple -respect- was the reason that I went easy on you, didja? :)

    I mean, I’ve dealt with my share of punks knuckle-to-face before, but I very much prefer to snipe from afar … whether it’s by internet or with 147 grains of copper-jacketed steel and lead.

    Up close and personal shit … ? BT/DT. Didn’t like it much. Prefer not to do it anymore. :P

    Jesse Custer

    July 5, 2007 at 4:59 pm

  61. @ Entomo: My great-grandfather was raised in Bari, Puglia. Napoli is awesome and I hope to travel there someday (after they get the garbage crisis resolved).

    I can see the similarities to The Watchmen. I’m also thinking of Ben Edlund’s The Tick. Some of the “hero” characters were poseurs, some were highly dysfunctional and some were truly noble. They all were very human…and that’s what made them empathic.

    Soylent Ape

    July 5, 2007 at 10:40 pm

  62. Oh, YEAH! I really see the tick now that you think of it. I got my picture taken with him at megacon!

    Superhero

    July 5, 2007 at 11:00 pm

  63. @Entomo: How’s the progress with the article you’re writing?
    You are still going to write it, aren’t you?

    Silly of me to ask…I mean, you gave your word and you’re a superhero, so I’ll try and be patient.

    bagel of everything

    July 6, 2007 at 1:02 pm

  64. Soylent Ape,

    So we have a little bit of blood in common. BARI is a splendid city, however. You should be proud of your roots.

    (on a side note, BARI is also a very wild place to live in.)

    Bagel,

    Let’s assume for a moment I might give you the permission to issue that article on your site. Fine. And then? More uproar from BOTH the crowds. More fights to come.

    I say: let’s stop this now.

    E.

    Entomo The Insect-Man

    July 6, 2007 at 5:18 pm

  65. Entomo: I’m sorry, I must have misunderstood you.
    Now, Bagel. I’m going to submit an article for RATION REALITY

    I thought you were one of the good guys, but apparently even superheroes break their word.

    (also: If you’ve seen any of our contributor posts, you’ll see that the only editing I do is the layout (getting the pictures hanging straight and such), and fixing misspellings. I do not change the content without permission of the writer. If you write an honest piece, I can’t imagine how an uproar could begin.

    bagel of everything

    July 6, 2007 at 5:30 pm

  66. “Now, Bagel. I’m going to submit an article for RATION REALITY. I’ve also offered my MySpace friendship to you all, including your husband. Hope it’s the beginning of a collaboration in order to promote OUR activity. Ok?”

    Doesn’t really sound like a “promise” written on stone and signed in blood, but more like a “proposal”.
    I wrote this message when everything was STILL pretty much contained. Then it went downhill from that point.

    I’ve now a point to ponder, and still feel tired because the patrol I did yesterday. That’s what you can call “tribulation”. I call it “routine”.

    By the way, Bagel, who are you? What’s your job? Just wondering.

    E.

    Entomo The Insect-Man

    July 6, 2007 at 5:40 pm

  67. Uhh, do you want me to write one? I’m not sure what i’d say that didn’t already cover what I answered in the questions though.
    The uproar entomo is probably refering to (insane as this sounds) is not from YOUR readers…

    It’s from the OTHER superheroes. I have been told ‘i thought you were one of the good guys” numerous times. I’ve also been called “Govt. lackey” “poser” “narcasist” been told “what a liyer” i am and all kinds of horrible things, all by other “superheroes”. he’s probably more concerned with Their reactions than your readers. As warrped as that sounds.

    Superhero

    July 6, 2007 at 5:41 pm

  68. Final verdict:

    There’s no need for a contribution.
    My personal MySpace profile page is packed with useful infos. Just read them, and don’t misinterpret them anymore as the original poster did (“Real Life Spider-Man” what?).

    I inject justice.

    Entomo The Insect-Man

    July 6, 2007 at 5:48 pm

  69. That’s pretty sick, SH … just wrong.

    I mean, yeah, if you’re The Punisher you can avoid public attention and not care if they don’t like you … but if you’re Scott or Jean, or Warren, or Piotr, you’ve got to try and make friends with the outside world, if you want to do your job correctly.

    Sadly, that seems to be lost on a lot of people.

    Jesse Custer

    July 6, 2007 at 5:49 pm

  70. Superhero: I would very much like to see an article from you! You see, the majority of our readers never see these comments, and therefore are only seeing our side of the issue. I don’t want this to be a one sided rant. I am not running a personal soapbox here.

    I’m sad to hear that you’ve taken so much shit from your colleagues. Frankly, you’re the only one who has helped me to open my mind about your movement. I wish I could make every one of our readers see these comments and learn more about what it is to be a superhero, but that’s just not how a blog works.

    I’m also sorry to hear that Entomo cowers from others. Perhaps he needs to inject some courage?
    Seems it’s fitting that he is an insect man, as I’m don’t feel like he has much of a spine when he takes back his promises like that.

    Anyway, submission details are here. Please use your correct email address, incase I need to discuss any changes with you.

    bagel of everything

    July 6, 2007 at 5:53 pm

  71. @Entemo: Most of our readers do not click links and they do not read the comments. Thousands of people read our posts everyday. Only a handfull of those click the links or read the comments. If you aren’t serious about opening minds, then don’t worry about it.

    I’m more worried that you lied to me than about any article. Did I deserve to be lied to? What kind of justice do you inject for liars?

    bagel of everything

    July 6, 2007 at 5:59 pm

  72. Post-Scriptum:

    Superhero,

    I’m a Real Life Superhero, not a soldier. You should know that I’m totally independent and free to opt whatever solution I feel as being the best.

    I have nothing to worry about, as far as my collegues are concerned: you, Zetaman, Tothian, Master Legend, Stargazer, Prospect, Nostrum, Squeegeeman, Eye, Huntress and many others.
    We’ve developed a strong and unbreakable bound of comradeship and friendship.

    Entomo The Insect-Man

    July 6, 2007 at 6:03 pm

  73. Bagel,

    Insects are provided with an exo-skeleton which is basically much more proficient than humans’s inner skeleton.

    COURAGE is something totally un-related to Internet, trust me.

    E.

    Entomo The Insect-Man

    July 6, 2007 at 6:07 pm

  74. Oh, I didn’t see this one, sorry:

    “Now, Bagel. I’m going to submit an article for RATION REALITY…Doesn’t really sound like a “promise” written on stone and signed in blood, but more like a “proposal”.

    Sorry, again. I misunderstood.
    To me, saying I’m going to do something is the same as promising it. When a person’s word is good, promises are superfluous.

    bagel of everything

    July 6, 2007 at 6:08 pm

  75. @ Entomo, I appreciate that. But I Have & Do take flak from a small percentage of our coleauges for how I opperate.

    @bagel, I’ll try.

    Superhero

    July 6, 2007 at 6:12 pm

  76. Jesse, that’s the scary part. some of these guys Do think they are the punnisher…

    Superhero

    July 6, 2007 at 6:15 pm

  77. Uh oh…I think I can only do DOC. that’s what Word makes isn’t it? what do I do?

    Superhero

    July 6, 2007 at 6:27 pm

  78. Bagel,

    Jesse Custer is filling the whole net with his “Technorati” and a good deal of disrespect towards us.
    I don’t care about Internet that much. I just think to the criterium behind the action, you know. It’s a matter of principle (Which is a very different concept from “pride”, a mere exercise in self-vanity).

    People can found every info they need on OUR MySpace profile pages.

    Entomo The Insect-Man

    July 6, 2007 at 6:27 pm

  79. @ SH-
    Most publishers require .RTF documents, and Bagel fancies herself a publisher … so …

    Go ahead and send it to me as a .DOC. I’ll reformat it and pass the file along to her.

    @ Entomo-

    You’re like a five year old kid who’s just found out that his puppy likes the neighbor’s kid better than him. Seriously, get over yourself.

    People aren’t clicking the links to go to your Myspace profile. In the last two days, more people have come to Ration Reality by searching ‘Entomo The Insect Man’ and ‘Entomo Real Superhero’ than have clicked to your site from ours. Hell, more people have come to Ration Reality by Googling ‘hannukah music torrents,’ ‘communal baths – germany,’ ‘naked delivery girl’ and ‘dumpster whores’ than have clicked away from our site to visit your Myspace profile. Bagel’s right – most people don’t read the comments or click the links. I usually don’t read past the first, hell, ten or fifteen comments. Sometimes more, if they’re really funny or interesting.

    Write something to present a more balanced view of who and what you are. We will post it with no commentary aside from a brief introduction saying that you’re a guest contributor to the site.

    I will advertise your guest article on Technorati and Digg!, just as enthusiastically as I do my own posts, and I will do it in a respectful and polite fashion. This is the best shot you’re going to get, Entomo. People right now are seeing only one side of it. Give them the other side. The feedback emails that we’ve been getting right now have been running pretty heavily towards ‘wow, Superhero is a pretty cool guy, so’s Zeitgeist. That Entomo is a whiner, though. What’s wrong with him?’

    You want to stop that from happening? You want to change that? You’ve been acting like a little kid here for the past few days. You want the puppy to like you best again? Smear yourself with bacon grease, write a post here and act like an adult. Do what Mr. President Tothian wants you to do and make your community look ‘badass and cool.’ Right now, except for Superhero, Squeegee, and Zeitgeist, you don’t. Well … maybe Nostrum, too. He seems to be a pretty stand-up guy, but the jury’s still out.

    But either way, get over yourself.

    Jesse Custer

    July 6, 2007 at 7:07 pm

  80. @SH and Jesse: I don’t do .docs because I don’t use Word. I hate Word. I can reformat it, no worries. Include some links to photos too, if you wish. I like a few photos :)

    And where the heck is Squeegeeman? I love me some Squeeg! Is he too cool for us?

    I wonder if Entomo wouldn’t have been a better choice for our contest than Tothian? I mean, its really what’s worse: Threats or Lies?

    bagel of everything

    July 6, 2007 at 7:15 pm

  81. Squeegee man is like a enigma…wrapped in a burito or somethig. I’m sure he’s out walking for cameras or aids or squeegee-itis or something. just go to his myspace and say hi. Oh and fyi he NEVER drops the gimmick.

    Superhero

    July 6, 2007 at 8:39 pm

  82. It’s done bagel. jesse has it & pics.

    Superhero

    July 6, 2007 at 8:42 pm

  83. any other pics, just yank ’em off my myspace.

    superhero

    July 6, 2007 at 8:55 pm

  84. K, kids.

    We’ve got us two submissions by our RLSH friends. I haven’t yet worked out the logistics of when they’ll be posted, but I’m thinking early next week. Probably the first will go up tomorrow or Monday.

    They will be on the front page here at RationReality.com

    Thanks folks!

    bagel of everything

    July 7, 2007 at 9:50 pm

  85. “Jesse Custer”,

    Please, grow up. If you are so attached to the “internet popularity” concept, then become a blogger. No wait, you’re already that.

    Have fun, man. That’s what you want. Taste your freedom. It’s just Internet.

    I inject justice.

    Entomo The Insect-Man

    July 9, 2007 at 6:11 pm

  86. *yawn*

    Entomo, don’t you ever check our front page?

    The conversation has moved here.

    bagel of everything

    July 9, 2007 at 6:50 pm

  87. New post here:
    The World Needs Heroes

    bagel of everything

    July 12, 2007 at 4:54 pm

  88. “Yawn”

    Sleep if you need that.

    I inject justice.

    Entomo The Insect-Man

    August 1, 2007 at 5:56 am

  89. Hey Entomo. Still searching for yourself, I see? One of these days you’ll find something worth looking at, I guess.

    jessecuster

    August 1, 2007 at 10:33 am

  90. Good times.
    I’m glad SuperHero turned out to be a cool guy.
    Horray for SH!

    I kinda miss Entomo tho. He was fun

    bagel of everything

    August 24, 2007 at 7:02 pm

  91. If I had to sum up what a RLSH really is (at least for me), I would have to say that when people ask why we wear costumes and create “alter-egos” to whatever degree we do, it is simply to draw attention in a colorful way to the idea that anyone can be “super”, by virtue of going above and beyond their day-to-day norm to help others. Run-on sentence thusly ends…

    That’s really all there is to it.

    You don’t need a costume to do what we do. All you need is a genuine desire to help, whenever and wherever you can, in a world that needs it heroes. The hero or heroine…in *everyone*.

    In Seeing Justice Done,
    ~The Eye~

    The Eye

    November 9, 2007 at 12:10 pm

  92. ‘you don’t need a costume to do what we do’

    Ok, so why the need for a costume? I understand uniforms for our military,police,fire fighters- they are earned. As are their titles. What torturous labyrinth are you subjected to before you don your spandex? What oath do you swear by? Nothing against you, Superhero, I admire your work. But it seems that some of your brethren are in it for the glory. The world has its heroes and they don’t wear costumes. Humility and Integrity are manifested in action, they are qualities that need no marketing. Again, Superhero, I have served my country and I appreciate the service that you are doing. It is noble and just. I am simply giving others something to think about.

    keywork.

    November 9, 2007 at 12:24 pm

  93. Eye: Do I have to do what you do to wear the costume? Cuz I like dressing up, but I don’t actually like helping people.

    KW: Because it’s freakin hot! No, wait…that’s why girls like yaoi.

    bagel of everything

    December 9, 2007 at 2:53 am

  94. When I was 4 years old I watched Mary Poppins. She was my hero.
    I grabbed an umbrella , opened it and jumped off the roof and it fucking hurt everywhere.
    Then I saw her tiitties in Victor Victoria. That just fucked up everything.

    micky2

    December 9, 2007 at 3:11 am

  95. It was glad to see SuperHero turned out to be a cool guy.

    Teeth Whitening Products

    September 21, 2009 at 7:38 am

  96. I think anyone can become a superhero. Just go to youtube and advertise yourself as the next IronMaiden. LOL.

    Panic Attacks

    May 16, 2010 at 4:45 pm

  97. Go walk an old lady across the street with a cap on and you’ll be a superhero haha.

    Autoresponder

    July 1, 2010 at 2:16 am

  98. heros are over rated, average is underrated..


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