Ration Reality

You’d best close your face and stay out my way if you don’t wanna go to Fist City…
‘Cause I’ll grab you by the hair a the head, and I’ll lift a you off a the ground.
Damn straight. She’s so Ghetto!

Retro-tainment: Media You Might Have Missed – Vol 2: Clone High

Can you imagine if we were somehow able to extract DNA remnants of all the great figures in history. And then, from those specimens, we would create genetic duplicates of these great and infamous men and women in history. Then imagine when those clones enter their awkward teenage years: the angst, the uncertainty and emerging sexuality playing against their famous personalities. Bill Lawrence (creator of Scrubs and Spin City did, only he (Along with co-creators Phil Lord and Christopher Miller) decided to make it a cartoon and play it for laughs.

Clone High imagines a world where Abe Lincoln is a neurotic sociopath with an unspoken crush on Cleopatra and JFK is the popular football team captain with 2 gay foster parents. It is a place where Winston Churchill can be a thugged-out B-boy and Ghandi can be an indulgent, sex-obsessed hedonist. Read the rest of this entry »

Retro-tainment: Media You Might Have Missed – Vol 1: Fletch

Meet Irwin M. Fletcher: an investigative journalist/pussy magnet in the City of Angels with a quick wit, a basketball jones and a devil-may-care attitude. Sounds like an old mystery book character, right? Well, he is. Author Gregory McDonald created Fletcher (AKA “Fletch”) back in the 70s and, over the course of 20 years, wrote over 10 novels featuring the wise-cracking, womanizing character, winning a couple of Edgar Allen Poe awards along the way. Read the rest of this entry »

This ad is old. I hate old ads. I want all new ads.

Mark over at The Skwib has challenged me to create a vintage-style ad for a fictional future product, taken from a literary source. After much grueling masturbation, I went with the first thing that popped into my head: Soma, from Aldous Huxley’s Brave New World. As everyone with a crappy spam collector knows, Soma already exists; I think I should get bonus points for cheating.

You can play, too. There are prizes! 
Base image from here. All text taken from the novel via this site.

… for adults, it’s exciting!

 (thx, lolheathen)

Related posts: The O-Face Game - iJoy: Ridin’ Dirty - I dream of eBay with real human hair

Years ago, in a time known as “The 80s”, humanity was enlightened and entertained by a new subgenre of film. These Canadian cinematic offerings were set apart by their heavy-handed moralistic tone, actors who had no business acting, directors who had no business directing, epic heavy metal soundtracks and, usually, John Mikl Thor.

Now, to carry on the lineage of Rock ‘n’ Roll Nightmare, Shock ‘Em Dead, and Black Roses, comes Michael Keeves’ and Josh Clark’s Rock ‘n’ Roll Crazy Night - an 80s-centric short about evil rocker Cain, whose nefarious plan is to brainwash the town of Rock Haven’s youths into becoming his long-haired, sleeveless t-shirt-wearing minions. It is up to a group of high-school friends and their wise public school-employed janitor to stop the evil plot. Read the rest of this entry »

Read the rest of this entry »

Deviant wrote this for us, because he’s such a wonderful person
(but he’s  got problems)

In the year 1972, David Jones revealed Himself as David Bowie AKA Ziggy Stardust, the leper messiah from another planet. This was before the internet, so you can imagine that it was a very big deal. People back then were ignorant, and so it was widely believed that David Bowie was indeed a space alien, especially since He looked like this:

Where is your God now?

David Bowie single-handedly invented homosexuality in the early 70′s with His glam-era albums Ziggy Stardust And The Spiders from Mars, Aladdin Sane and Diamond Dogs. Read the rest of this entry »

The Earth is suffocating… Swear to make them cut me open, so that I won’t be buried alive.
– Last words of Frederic Chopin

My mother and I have always had a difficult relationship. Mostly because we’re both evil, controlling bitches.  When I was 13, I “came out” to her, just to make her cry. She didn’t.  She said something like “so I guess you won’t be needing your birth control refilled.” Read the rest of this entry »

Mr. Zach Action is our friend.
His right to self expression we do defend.
But if by this post you are offended,
Remember: He wrote it, we didn’t! 
-Soy

 You ever have one of those moments where suddenly you realize that something from your childhood is insanely messed up?

I was walking from the bedroom to the living room yesterday, humming a song that doesn’t usually come to mind: Jesus Loves Me. I can’t even tell you the last time I heard this song. But there I was, walking and humming. Then I started singing it. And then I realized…

OH. MY. GOODNESS. What in the WORLD did they have us singing as children?!?

Read the rest of this entry »