Archive for the ‘gay’ Category
My Take on Larry Craig, and Other Penis-Related News
Item One. Larry Craig.
I’m sure that pretty much everyone knows the story here, right? Republican Senator from Idaho, arrested in an airport mens room in Minneapolis-St. Paul for soliciting sex from a cop?
Well now, wait just a damn second.
First off, I want to say that, even as a Republican, I do not personally give two shits about whether or not Craig is a pillow biter. It just doesn’t fucking matter to me. That’s his business. That’s not even the interesting part here, though. There’s a whole lot more, that’s a whole lot more interesting.
What actually happened here? Read the rest of this entry »
Straight Woman’s Guide To Bedding A Gay Man
I offered Deviant an assignment. Can’t believe he actually did it.
Jesse & Soy, you boys better step up! -bagel
With modern men and women increasingly branching out into alternate mating lifestyle choices, many women I’ve encountered ((coughBagelcough)) have asked me what it takes for a woman to bed a gay man.
I can’t say I blame women. Gay men clean their asses, work-out, have bigger penises, and have an extra bone in our skulls that make us adept at Language and tongue-action.
I know some of you watched that this scene from The Opposite of Sex
But sadly this isn’t going to happen. You can’t get the hunky gay guy…..hell I can’t even get the hunky gay guy!! Nobody gets him except other hunky gay guys, and they usually get him with Crystal Meth at some gay orgy.
So I begrudgingly will relate to you my tips on how a woman can bed a gay man.
1) Know your gays. Read the rest of this entry »
Jesus Gave My Pee Pee a Mouth Hug
If Discouragement Kitten wasn’t a girl, and also a kitten, I’d make sweet sweet snowballs with him/her/it. If you folks aren’t reading DK’s blog, I don’t think I like you anymore.
Question:
i have a recuring fantasy where I am being raped by jesus while mohammad is holding my legs apart. Vishnu and Buddha are taking pictures for their sick site dirtybitch.com. I feel useless and spent after it is over but at the same time scarily aroused by the fact all these gods (or their prophets) want my man bits.
am i gay/wrong for this?
Answer:
Dear Wrong Gayman:
I don’t know if you’re gay, but you’re definitely wrong – and not for the reasons you think. Really, this fantasy is all screwed up and lacks basic elements of creativity, surprise and logic. You have the characters in roles they don’t belong in – everything – from the top down is just a gayfuckingmess.
First of all, lets discuss the positions you’ve slotted your prophets into.
Jesus – Rapist
Mohammed – Accomplice to rape – forcefully holding your legs apart
Vishnu/Buddha – Pornographic photographers
Jesus was a turn the other ass cheek kinda guy. Mohammed is more action oriented – you could swing it around having Jesus hold your legs (this is a more passive aggressive action – I think much more inline with the psychology of Jesus. I mean really – the turn the other cheek mentality really is just a mechanism for making the person that’s committed an injustice towards you feel bad.) Mohammed would probably be more inclined towards penetration in this fantasy – he could impregnate you with Islam if you will. Read the rest of this entry »
The Hymen Suffered Only A Small Dent!
One of my favorite new sites is Overheard in New York. This is basically a quote log. People come here and enter in things that they’ve heard people say on the streets, the buses, and the subways of New York City. Here is a small sample.
This makes me glad my employees are disorganized. Wait, no. Unorganized. Still not right. They’re not in a fucking union, anyway.
