Archive for the ‘freedom’ Category
Vote Keywork in 08
You decide. Or not. It’s really not my business.
A funny thing happened in these comments. Our loyal reader Keywork announced to the world that he is, in fact, a raccoon, and he yiffed my mother. A time machine was apparently involved, as he is my father. That’s when it started getting weird. Read the rest of this entry »
You Can’t Make This Shit Up
“Ooh, Baby, baby, it’s a wild world“, sang FM lite-rocker Cat Stevens 35 years ago. While those with better tastes were probably listening to Steely Dan or even Bad Company at the time, it goes without saying that the lyric still rings true — especially in light of the fact that the unassuming Stevens is now a Muslim whose (alleged) associations with the radical Hamas organization has left him on the Federal no-fly list.
With the words of Mr Yusuf Islam fresh in our minds, let’s ponder some incidents that highlight just how wild this world is:
Advice from Discouragement Kitten
One of my favorite bloggers, Discouragement Kitten, has been kind enough to lend us the use of one of her blog entries. If you leave some comments, she might lend us another!
-bagel
Incomprehensible Cum Guzzling Hotard
Question:
Dear DK,
I was with this cocksucker, for almost a year. Would of bet my life that I was the only one he was fucking. Until, a few months ago. He moved, got his own place (he has some serious co-dependency issues) then all of a sudden the baby’s mama drama started. Out of nowhere this bitch starts bringing the kids for the weekend, which if you couldn’t guess she stays with them. The cocksucker tried to lie about the whole situation to begin with, but me being the crazy bitch that I am, did a drive by, he was caught, so he tried a new approach, telling me that she was coming. I fell for the cocksucker’s lies for a while.
RationReality: The final domain
I am now a we and we have a new domain!
The former url bagelofeverything.wordpress.com will still get you here, but updating your bookmarks and links to the new url will help us tons and tons. I promise we probably won’t move again.
We’ll be changing everything around over the weekend, so expect an extra bit of weirdness.
Why the change?
If anyone cared, that’s what I’d expect them to ask.
I, your all encompassing bread product, have teamed up with three of the most intelligent, funniest, weirdest men I know.
Soylent Ape, a smooth-talkin, pimp-walkin rock critic with a stack of business degrees.
Jesse Custer, space-opera writin’, cyberart outlaw.
Jody Eugenius Wilson, a kosher, recording scientist who is not allowed, by law, to own a gun.
We now have our very own comic!
The first strips are nearly ready and will be posted soon.
So our humor sweatshop is now fully staffed, and will soon begin cranking out its low quality comedy knockoffs for export up your interwebs.
- the bagel of everything
Illegal in Germany
This post is illegal in Germany and all points east.
Readers may be subject to fines, imprisonment, or execution
Alt Title: Pay Attention to MEEEE!!!!
Today, I was scolded by a random 15 year old kid from some random former Soviet republic where I’m pretty sure they still wipe their asses with leaves and ride goats to the communal baths.
No offense kid, it’s my duty as an ignorant American bitch to feel this way about countries I’ve never heard of. Re: Most of the world.
The subject in question was my love of a certain foreign language hardcore metal band. According to this smart assed brat, for whom I’m rapidly gaining respect, the band are Nazis. Being as the band is from the same land of Obscuria as this punk, and communicates in the same inferior language, I have faith that he knows what he’s talking about.
I wasn’t aware of this. The fact, however, does fit nicely into my history. I’ve previously discovered that many bands I enjoy are such fucktarded hatemongers.
