Archive for the ‘church’ Category
The Sudoku of the Flying Toilet Brush Holder
Reviews taken from Amazon.
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The 2007-2012 Outlook for Bathroom Toilet Brushes and Holders in Greater China This study covers the latent demand outlook for bathroom toilet brushes and holders across the regions of Greater China, including provinces, autonomous regions (Guangxi, Nei Mongol, Ningxia, Xinjiang, Xizang – Tibet), municipalities (Beijing, Chongqing, Shanghai, and Tianjin), special administrative regions (Hong Kong and Macau), and Taiwan (all hereafter referred to as “regions”). Please kill me. Latent demand (in millions of U.S. dollars), or potential industry earnings (P.I.E.) estimates are given across some 1,100 cities in Greater China. For each major city in question, the percent share the city is of the region and of Greater China is reported. Each major city is defined as an area of “economic population”, as opposed to the demographic population within a legal geographic boundary. Take away all my pain. For many cities, the economic population is much larger that the population within the city limits; this is especially true for the cities of the Western regions. For the coastal regions, cities which are close to other major cities or which represent, by themselves, a high percent of the regional population, actual city-level population is closer to the economic population (e.g. in Beijing). Please for the love of God, just fucking kill me. Based on this “economic” definition of population, comparative benchmarks allow the reader to quickly gauge a city’s marketing and distribution value vis-à-vis others. This exercise is quite useful… |
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The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster CAN I GET A “RAMEN” FROM THE CONGREGATION?! Behold the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (FSM), today’s fastest growing carbohydrate-based religion. According to church founder Bobby Henderson, the universe and all life within it were created by a mystical and divine being: the Flying Spaghetti Monster. What drives the FSM’s devout followers, a.k.a. Pastafarians? Some say it’s the assuring touch from the FSM’s “noodly appendage.” Then there are those who love the worship service, which is conducted in pirate talk and attended by congregants in dashing buccaneer garb. Still others are drawn to the Church’s flimsy moral standards, religious holidays every Friday, or the fact that Pastafarian heaven is way cooler: Does your heaven have a Stripper Factory and a Beer Volcano? Intelligent Design has finally met its match–and it has nothing to do with apes or the Olive Garden of Eden. Within these pages, Bobby Henderson outlines the true facts– dispelling such malicious myths as evolution (“only a theory”), science (“only a lot of theories”), and whether we’re really descended from apes (fact: Humans share 95 percent of their DNA with chimpanzees, but they share 99.9 percent with pirates!) |
All your Lego are belong to Jesus
Maybe the best thing EVER!
http://thebricktestament.com <– Update again: It’s back up now! YAY!
Bible stories, illustrated with Lego blocks.
Here are some of my favorite photos, taken delightfully out of context:
Sacrilege Sunday!
Sacrilege
(Latin sacrilegium, robbing a temple, from sacer, sacred, and legere, to purloin.)
Sacrilege is in general the violation or injurious treatment of a sacred object. In a less proper sense any transgression against the virtue of religion would be a sacrilege.
Theologians are substantially agreed in regarding as sacred that and that only which by a public rite and by Divine or ecclesiastical institution has been dedicated to the worship of God. The point is that the public authority must intervene; private initiative, no matter how ardent in devotion or praiseworthy in motive, does not suffice. Attributing a sacred character to a thing is a juridical act, and as such is a function of the governing power of the Church.
It is customary to enumerate three kinds of sacrilege: personal, local, and real. St. Thomas teaches (Summa, II-II, Q., xcix) that a different sort of holiness attaches to persons, places, and things. Hence the irreverence offered to any one of them is specifically distinct from that which is exhibited to the others. Suarez (De Religione, tr. iii, 1-3) does not seem to think the division very logical, but accepts it as being in accord with the canons.
-The Catholic Encyclopedia
Ok, so Sundays are generally going to be known around here as ‘Sacrilege Sunday,’ and it’s where I’ll get to hop up on my soapbox and proclaim heresy. You may find, on occasion, a kernel of seriousness deep, deep at the nougaty center.
In the beginning, there was DOS. And it was difficult to use. Idiot-proof, one might almost say, because it was, well, proof against idiots But the damn companies, in their quest for bigger profits, have made computers easier to use and so now we have idiots worldwide, against whom the computer is no longer proof, spewing stupidity all over teh intarwehbs. All too many of these idiots are the ultra-religious. Read the rest of this entry »
You Can’t Make This Shit Up
“Ooh, Baby, baby, it’s a wild world“, sang FM lite-rocker Cat Stevens 35 years ago. While those with better tastes were probably listening to Steely Dan or even Bad Company at the time, it goes without saying that the lyric still rings true — especially in light of the fact that the unassuming Stevens is now a Muslim whose (alleged) associations with the radical Hamas organization has left him on the Federal no-fly list.
With the words of Mr Yusuf Islam fresh in our minds, let’s ponder some incidents that highlight just how wild this world is:
Ration Reality Comics: Apologies to J.K. Rowling
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Harry Potter @ Wiki - Preorder the New Harry Potter!
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