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Archive for the ‘blasphemy’ Category

The Blessed Virgina

with 44 comments

Deviant wrote this for us, because he thinks about vaginas kind of alot. 

  

I believed everyone knew that the Catholic depiction of the Virgin Mary was based on a vagina, that is until I informed my friend Bagel about this belief and she expressed shock.

Let me explain…

As a raised Catholic, my connection with the Virgin Mary is a doozy. In the Catholic faith the Virgin Mary is treated like a goddess, though the church would claim otherwise, calling her a mortal that rose to heaven is semantics.

In Catholicism, there were special prayers sent to the Virgin Mary that were on par with prayers you would send to Jesus (or baby jesus if you were feeling especially kawaii).

The Virgin Mary is a loving force to be reckoned with in Catholic dogma. It was an honor for latin mothers, aunts, and grandmothers to give their children symbols of Our Lady of Guadalupe, the Mexican version of the Virgin Mary. My mother gave me an Our Lady of Guadalupe medallion; which was slightly odd because she hates Mexicans, but I figured that her home country of Guatemala couldn’t afford a Virgin Mary of their own. Read the rest of this entry »

Written by The Bagel of Everything

March 21, 2008 at 5:21 am

Reason #19 why I’m going to hell

with 56 comments

Pardonnez-moi, monsieur. Je ne l’ai pas fait exprès.
(Pardon me, sir. I did not do it on purpose.)
Last words of Marie Antoinette

I made this a few months ago. It’s wrong and I’m sorry. Read the rest of this entry »

Written by The Bagel of Everything

February 6, 2008 at 4:50 am

LolKill: Like LolCats, but deader

with 38 comments

It is told that Buddha, going out to look on life, was greatly daunted by death. “They all eat one another!” he cried, and called it evil. This process I examined, changed the verb, said, “They all feed one another,” and called it good.  – Charlotte Perkins Gilman

Roadkill + lol = lolkill.
Like lolcats, but deader.


Wait for it…wait for it… wait for it… LOL!!!1


Squirrel Jesus died for ur sins. Squirrel Jesus loves you. Read the rest of this entry »

Written by The Bagel of Everything

November 15, 2007 at 12:34 pm

Jesus Saves … guitar picks?

with 12 comments

Jesus Saves Guitar Picks 4 Pack @ Amazon.com

God: Hey, JC! Whadda you say we go down to Earth, spend some quality time?
JCUm, no.
God: C’mon, it’ll be fun. We’ll go fishing for men.
JC: Yeah, that sounds great and all, but I gotta update my blog.
God: Jesus, son! You need to get a hobby!
JC: I have my blog, Dad. You just don’t understand my generation!
God: A real hobby! Maybe you could collect something.
JC: Yeah, sure. Whatever. Bring me a Fillet O’ Fish and some Dansani before you go, k?

And that, brothers and sisters, is how Jesus began saving guitar picks. At a current total of 4, it’s not much of a collection. It’s tragic really. With all the dexterity of a carpenter’s son, he’d be a great shredder, if it weren’t for those horrible hand injuries.

Related posts:

 

Written by The Bagel of Everything

October 24, 2007 at 5:46 am

LOLTheist: Blasphemy is Teh Funneh

with 22 comments


My own bagelicious contribution

What do you get when an atheist, an agnostic, and a Christian start a lol site?

LOLTheist.com

Finally, kids. A lolsite that appreciates my arts!

In the words of … uh, I’m not sure which one of them I was talking to…

It’s a team blog. There are three of us: an atheist, an agnostic, and a Christian. (The Christian started it.) The whole idea started out with a comment in someone else’s blog about something like “God helps those that helps themselves” and someone said “God’s not like some magic cookie, which is too bad, because hey: magic cookie!” Of course that led to, “Who eated my cookie?” and the very first post “God maked you a cookie, but he eated it.” After that, we all just went nuts with the theme and decided it really needed its own blog. That was … um … end of June this year. The site just recently started taking off as more people have come to find out about it.

It’s been hilarious — there are some submissions we’ve posted that were like “meh” and they’ve turned out to be hysterical to someone, and others that we died laughing at that others were like “funnay not found.”

Read the rest of this entry »

Written by The Bagel of Everything

October 7, 2007 at 1:31 am

Give your child the gift of Jesus

with 28 comments

Written by The Bagel of Everything

September 19, 2007 at 10:44 am

Everything that has ever been funny ever

with 9 comments

This video contains everything funny that has ever been on the internets, ever. If you’ve seen something you think is funny and it isn’t in this video, you are wrong and you should feel bad. GTFO.

 

  Read the rest of this entry »

Written by The Bagel of Everything

August 2, 2007 at 3:55 am

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