Archive for the ‘bible’ Category
Jesus Saves Guitar Picks 4 Pack @ Amazon.com
God: Hey, JC! Whadda you say we go down to Earth, spend some quality time?
JC: Um, no.
God: C’mon, it’ll be fun. We’ll go fishing for men.
JC: Yeah, that sounds great and all, but I gotta update my blog.
God: Jesus, son! You need to get a hobby!
JC: I have my blog, Dad. You just don’t understand my generation!
God: A real hobby! Maybe you could collect something.
JC: Yeah, sure. Whatever. Bring me a Fillet O’ Fish and some Dansani before you go, k?
And that, brothers and sisters, is how Jesus began saving guitar picks. At a current total of 4, it’s not much of a collection. It’s tragic really. With all the dexterity of a carpenter’s son, he’d be a great shredder, if it weren’t for those horrible hand injuries.
When I was a child, someone showed me the Chicago Bulls logo, upside down, and pointed out that it was, in fact, a robot sitting on a park bench reading the bible. My little mind was blown. 20 plus years later, I look at the logo and no longer see the bull. Just an upside down robot priest…
You, dear reader, have seen the proselyting robot menace, haven’t you?
I’ve made an art to clarify the danger we face:
The trippiest triptych
Why are they doing this? What do these robot overlords want from us?
Please, America. Rise up against the cybernetic oppressors before it’s too late!
Everything makes more sense when poorly animated.