Archive for the ‘animals’ Category
LolKill: Like LolCats, but deader
It is told that Buddha, going out to look on life, was greatly daunted by death. “They all eat one another!” he cried, and called it evil. This process I examined, changed the verb, said, “They all feed one another,” and called it good. – Charlotte Perkins Gilman
Roadkill + lol = lolkill.
Like lolcats, but deader.
Wait for it…wait for it… wait for it… LOL!!!1
Squirrel Jesus died for ur sins. Squirrel Jesus loves you. Read the rest of this entry »
Pete Doherty Cracks Cats Up
Wannabe “rock star” Pete Doherty used to merely annoy me with his posturing. His insistence of following the well-worn rock ‘n’ roll chemical highway traveled by Keith Richards, Johnny Thunders and Iggy Pop before him is neither original nor particularly noteworthy. Getting busted, overdosing and getting tossed out of bands for excessive drug abuse is by no measure new in the world of popular music, circa now.
It’s his perogative to fuck up his body and mind and, at least in Britain, it’s given the model/poet/musician/fuckup an assload of publicity courtesy of the insidious red-ink press. However, Doherty crossed a major line recently, and his offense should not be ignored. Read the rest of this entry »
A lure worse than the disease
DeerBusters Wolf Urine
Amazon.com Sales Rank: #250,402 in Kitchen & Dining (<– WTF?)
Amazon Product Description
Use our 100 percent urine lures to create the illusion predators are present in the area you wish. Great for photographers, gardeners, hunters and wildlife enthusiasts.
It seems this product is intended to keep vicious, vegetation-sucking deer away from your campsite or garden, using the pheromone-rich urine of a she-wolf in heat. Deer apparently don’t care to be around horny she-wolves. Know what animal does seek out the pheromonal goodness of horny she-wolves?
Yeah, this product is a good idea.
More Worst Gift Ever nominees:
Dogged surfers recover four-Legged friend
Two Surfers showed great skill and bravery on Sep. 11 when they rescued a beloved pet swept into Lake Michigan from a stationary pier. Matt Smolenski and Joe Riopelle witnessed a huge wave break onto the South Pier at Grand Haven, MI, knocking Joe Badgero off of his feet and carrying his medium-sized dog back into the lake.
Smolenski paddled toward the struggling dog and braced her on his surfboard. After paddling against the strong rip current for some time, Riopelle helped his friend and the dog the rest of the way. The dog, described by the Muskegon Chronicle as an “older, mixed-breed” named Shell-B, accompanied Badgero to the pier regularly and is said to enjoy barking at the waves. Read the rest of this entry »
Pigeons: The Flying Enemy
The horrible collapse of the I-35 bridge in Minneapolis this August highlights the aging highway infrastructure in our motoring society. One can only hope that it will underscore the need to pay closer attention to the roads and bridges that are in urgent need of repair all over the United States. One thing is certain, though. It has alerted us to a major threat to our standing structures:
Pigeons. Read the rest of this entry »
And you thought you had a bad week
We’ve often heard the securities market likened to a wilderness and traders, brokers and such said to be predators. Well, at least one stockbroker knows that’s all bullshit, because no one’s ever died a violent death on the floor of a stock exchange. Well…outside of Pakistan, that is. Read the rest of this entry »
You tell anyone, I’ll kill your family
I can’t for the life of me figure out why ichc doesn’t want my lolcats. I mean, it’s a family site, and here’s one about family love! What gives, chz?
Cause for Concern: Multimillionaire Dogfights
On July 17, 2007, Atlanta Falcons Quarterback Michael Vick was indicted on federal charges of conspiracy related to an alleged dog fighting ring of which he was a part. These allegations actually go back more than 5 years, so the indictment was not a complete surprise to most.
On the surface, you might be tempted to say, “Well, it looks like ol’ Ron Mexico has stepped in it again.” I would, however, challenge you to reconsider this statement. Animal abuse, cruelty and torture–at least in my book–are far more serious offenses than making an obscene gesture in front of millions at an open sporting event or carrying a mysterious substance in a water bottle engineered with a secret compartment.
In fact, I would submit that these incidents don’t come close to the same level. Read the rest of this entry »
Redefining Bad-Ass, One Lion At A Time
My dad is a sucker for forwarded Spam emails. It doesn’t really matter what it is – everything from ‘send this to 10 people or a meteor will fall on your house’ all the way up to the classic ‘Bill Gates will give you a nickel for everyone you send this to.’ If it’s out there, and it’s a stupid annoying bullshit chain-spam, my dad has sent it to me. And I’ve gotten pissed about it. Pissed enough that I’ve come really fucking close to putting him on my spam filter.
But that all changed yesterday, when my dad sent me this one.
It seems that some time in the somewhat recent past (say, sometime since the development of color photography), a couple in Montana went out for a ride on their ranch. I don’t know what the wife was riding, but the husband was riding a mule. They had their dogs following along with them.
Any road, they got jumped by a mountain lion that decides he’d like to try the hound dog tartare. This turns out to be a really, really stupid fucking idea. The guy gets off his mule, and he’s going to take a shot in the air, try and scare off the lion. The mule, however, says ‘don’t worry about it, dude – I’ve got this one handled.’
In this first picture, the email claims that the cat was alive and trying to fight back as the mule whipped it around in circles, smashing its head against rocks and such.
I’ve Said It Before, I’ll Say It Again …
… but the Japanese are fucking strange people.
My Japanese is a little rusty, but I’m pretty sure the translation on this works out sorta like this:
Girl: My boyfriend spends all his time reading tentacle-rape Manga and groping schoolgirls on the train, so he has no time to touch my breasts anymore. I have come here, Honorable Monkey-San, to offer my body to you.
Monkey: You fucking sicken me, and your breasts are cheap and paltry works of silicon. Yet I shall still offer you a kiss as a consolation, because I am King Monkey!
