The South(ern Suburb) Rises Again
Military Relics Dealers are the New Meth Labs
Nearly 150 years after it ended, the American Civil War has most likely claimed its final casually. In mid-February, a loud blast echoed through the city of Chester, VA. Following the concussion, police found Samuel H. White, aged 53, dead in his backyard. Later, they learned that White was a Civil War relic dealer whose inventory included various munitions, including high caliber bullets, cannonballs and even artillery shells. Mr. White was apparently attempting to disarm a Civil War-era shell when it went off. White’s website (currently offline, but archives are available here), stated White had disabled some 500 Civil War rounds for sale “and (I) still have all my fingers (I must be doing something right, knock on wood)!”
The nearby city of Richmond, former capital of the Confederacy, was no stranger to powerful munitions–it was partially destroyed during the last days of the Civil War. In the present, the market for authentic military collectibles remains strong with dealers and auction houses selling everything from uniform hats and pins to field munitions to collectors. There are dealers like White in neighborhoods all over the United States and even abroad, most doing brisk business online.
The surrounding area was evacuated for nearly 2 days, while bomb squad technicians searched for other similar military ordnances. The explosion was apparently so powerful that debris was spread a great distance from Mr. White’s property, with one neighbor reporting a 15-lb. shell coming to rest in his living room…nearly a quarter-mile away.
Sources: Associated Press – United Press International
Related post: White Trash Service Announcement: Don’t smoke around pipe bombs
You never hear the shell that has your name?
LOL Heathen
March 13, 2008 at 6:54 pm
i love the sense of optimism that guy had. priceless. and to think he was worried about fingers!
SEO Hack
March 13, 2008 at 7:09 pm
mmmmmmeth
Sure explains the teeth they got there in virginia
The Bagel of Everything
March 13, 2008 at 7:15 pm
Yeah, when you read about the carnage those mortars created during the Civil War, it was more than just losing fingers!
Soylent Ape
March 13, 2008 at 9:57 pm
How much will the corpse of the last casualty of the civil war be worth in 150 years?
Jim
March 13, 2008 at 11:07 pm
Dunno, but we should go ahead and squat on the domain.
The Bagel of Everything
March 13, 2008 at 11:09 pm
cumsquat at your service. Lets go.
lil bit shorty
March 13, 2008 at 11:11 pm
Mi bichito. That is me now. Just a fyi! Or a LMNOP. What ever.
lil bit shorty
March 13, 2008 at 11:12 pm
Would the supposed high rate of incest in that part of the world be a reason for poor decision making by the offspring? I dont know, I guess its a paradox of sorts. I mean fucking your relative is already a bad decision. Now you got retards making more retards. I dont mean to generalize, but I cant help but feel like the dumbest people in our country come from that neighborhood.
Dont mind me. It just seems like this is the kind of guy who cuts off the bottom of his blanket and sews it to the top because its too short.
micky2
March 14, 2008 at 12:40 pm
@ micky – you talking Virginia or the South?
seohack
March 14, 2008 at 3:42 pm
Actually, stupidity runs rampant all across the Fruited Plain. It just seems like popular culture tends to portray Suvvern Folk as being exceptionally so. Inbreeding was once somewhat prevalent in places like WV, KY, AL, GA, OH and other places where geography kept people separated. It’s not something you see much anymore.
On a side note, I did know 2 cousins who got married, except that they didn’t know that they were cousins until an embarrassing family secret got out. This was several years after they were married. They decided to stay married and not to have kids, just in case.
Soylent Ape
March 14, 2008 at 8:05 pm
Well like I said , I dont want to generalize. I’m sure there are just as many stupid people blended into our societies everywhere. It just seems like they have a knack for being southerners.
But yea Soy, alot of different cultures and people get the stupid label.
I guess rednecks are like Americas Polocks. Here in Hawaii its the Portugese.
I’m married to one.
micky2
March 14, 2008 at 9:05 pm
When I was a kid, there was a Polish exchange student in my high school. I swear that she was smarter than all the other students…combined! I have Polish relatives that are sharp as samurai swords. I’ve only known a couple of Polish people who were off-the-mark cognitively, but one of them was mentally retarded, so I don’t think that should count.
I don’t like to generalize, either, but it seems everyone I meet from Portugal seems to be on a different plain, mentally. I can’t say they’re stupid, but their behavior and the way they interact is strange to me. I have a customer from Lisbon and he always pauses before he responds to any question–no matter how simple–like he’s carefully considering the deeper meaning of the words. He’s lived here for years, so I doubt it’s a language comprehension issue.
Soylent Ape
March 15, 2008 at 4:31 am
This conversation is incredibly dangerous. Its hard to do this and not stand a risk of being called racist or bigot.
Living in Hawaii the Filippinos seem to be the weirdest people I’ve ever met. And it may be for no other reason than the fact that they have the strangest diet, they eat the weirdest shit. Usually diets are representative of a cultures agricuture and geographics. The Filippines are a fertile and lush geography. They could pretty much grow what they want. So why are these people eating dogs, rats, pidgeons and Balut?Balut is the one thing I will not and have not eaten till this day. Its a chicken egg that is buried a few inches in the ground about a day or two before it hatches. The egg is then left in the ground for a couple weeks to rot and ferment. Then they dig it up and slurp out the insides. FUCKTHAT!
You gotta be pretty fucking weird to do that shit, I’m sorry.
And actually in my opinion its the Hawaiians here that seem the dumbest. I think the only reason for that is that they were and are still subjected to opression by means of entitlement. A lot of them believe they are entitled to a lot of shit and so dont bother to take advantage of the basics that society offers in order to succeed. In one way they are right cuz they kinda did get fucked on the whole colonization thing. But hey ! Now that you’re here, might as well make the best of it. They dont see it that way.
So its really a result of learned behavior and not some organic defect.
Anyway, Seo Hack asked if I was refering to Virginia or the south.
I thought Virginia was the south. Never been there. Anyone with a twang in their voice was always considered a southerner by me.
Seo, If you’re from Va. , sorry. Didnt mean to talk shit about your homeys.
But when you got a name like Samuel H White and you’re found blown up dead next to old civil war bombs with a website that says “I still have all my fingers” you’re fair game for generalizations.
He was probably a very nice guy. Might of even been a lot of fun at times.
micky2
March 15, 2008 at 10:37 am
Wel, anytime we make generalizations, we’re being a bit small-minded. On the other hand, there is almost always some truth in them. Poles have their reputation in this country not for having below-average IQs, but for being gullible and ill-adjusted to their new culture. I don’t know much about native Hawaiians, but I know that the places away from the touristy parts of Honolulu, Lihue, Lahaina, etc… Hawaii is very different. There’s a lot more poverty, crime, functional illiteracy, etc… Obviously, the state realizes where its bread is buttered: tourism, the military and produce.
Soylent Ape
March 15, 2008 at 1:09 pm
It takes a special kind of person to get killed in a war that ended over 100 years ago.
diesel
March 15, 2008 at 1:52 pm
With all his fingers
micky2
March 15, 2008 at 2:07 pm
@ Diesel: You’re right; it takes H.G. Wells.
@ Micky: The reports made no mention of his fingers being blown off, so it’s safe to assume that the streak continues!
Soylent Ape
March 15, 2008 at 6:21 pm