Ration Reality

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Diff’rent Stokes up in Crack Smoke

with 8 comments

A contribution by our good friend, Ellen. Submit your work here.
-bagel


Do you remember the 1980s? Have you seen the commercials? Cashcow or Cashcall.com. Yes, that’s the one…and YOU thought Gary Coleman (the man born with a congenital kidney disease causing nephritis; a disease House, MD specialized in) was dead?

He tried: “In 1993 Coleman appeared on the television talk show Geraldo and admitted he had twice attempted suicide with sleeping pills. Coleman went into semi-retirement and moved to Colorado and then to Arizona, where he was trained as a security guard, a job he often worked when unable to find other employment.” 

  After the close of Diff’rent Strokes, all three of the show’s child stars had trouble adjusting. Dana Plato and Todd Bridges had trouble with drugs and run-ins with the law, and Plato eventually committed suicide.

Perhaps, the most trouble Coleman got into happened defending his status in front of a confrontational fan and his addiction to model trains cost him as reported by Rotten.com “financial issues eventually forced Coleman to concede that he was indeed worse than broke – he was $72,000 in debt and addicted to the assembly of hobbyist model trains. “It’s part of who I am as a person. It is the best hobby I think there is anywhere. You can involve yourself in electronics, computers, puzzles… there’s a lot of creativity and brain working. There’s a lot to model trains that people don’t realize.”- Gary Coleman

 So, it seems dear, sweet first-lady Nancy Reagan did not get her “Just Say No” message out in her guest appearance on Diff’rent Strokes in March, 1983.

My point?

What was the message; the lesson to be learned from the show born the same year as me? What should I have gleaned spending my formative years watching a sitcom that, for all intents and purposes, broke new ground for sitcoms and seemed to offer hope.

Hope that a rich, white man would adopt two black brothers from Harlem, NYC because of a death-bed promise to a housekeeper?  Would the world stand for such a plot in the 80s filled with drugs and sex made famous for crack cocaine and AIDS?

Sometimes reality is just not shown in television, but can’t hope be? Wasn’t THAT the idea? Did you know the theme song for Diff’rent Stokes was written by Alan Thicke of Growing Pains, the show in which he starred as Kirk Cameron’s (now what teenage girl didn’t have a crush on him) psychiatrist father and learned enough from the experience to write a book

You know what I learned from the sitcoms of the 80s? Mrs. Garrett left the Drummond household after hearing Arnold say “Whatchoo talkin’ ‘bout Willis” one too many times and I followed her to The Facts of Life where I learned the Period Table of Elements symbol for gold. One episode stuck in my mind from the airing until the day my 7th grade science teacher wanted me to remember it; I knew Au was the symbol for gold. One of the girls told another to remember it by thinking of walking down a NYC street when a man snatches your gold watch and runs…”A U gimme my GOLD watch back!”

Maybe the canned laughter gave way to crack cocaine and Kimberly Drummond killed herself, but if I ever have to adopt a child it will be the one who never grew taller than 4’8 and never out-lived his fame for staying a child well into adulthood. In 2008 Gary Coleman will be 40. Send him a loan through cashcall.com because I am SURE that is why he supports it!

By Ellen Aldridge, loyal friend to RationReality and an irrational lifestyle.


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Written by The Bagel of Everything

June 22, 2007 at 11:36 am

8 Responses

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  1. Hey, a few grammatical errors (which are probably my fault) and the link for my name doesn’t work. it is My site

    great layout. thanks! (now i have to hope aomeone else reads it and cares enough to comment ;)

    ellen

    June 22, 2007 at 5:22 pm

  2. Fixed.
    Except now the first par. is all screwy. WordPress, why do you hate on me?

    bagel of everything

    June 22, 2007 at 5:42 pm

  3. Because it’s copied from, if I had to guess, Word or possibly a formatted HTML file. Don’t be doing that. It picks up all kinds of horrible tags that do weird things to text.

    Also: Mr. Drummond should have known better than to let Mrs. Garrett go. On the other hand, at the new place she gave George Clooney his big break, so her departure was not all bad.

    raincoaster

    June 24, 2007 at 2:19 am

  4. I was so fucking tweaked during the 80′s that I never saw “Different Strokes”.

    No surprising…I didn’t watch that much TV. Especially happy family kinds of shows. Why? Not the nest family life. Had distant parents who were non-committal. They weren’t good at parenting. In an attempt to bond, I recently asked my mother to tell me about the facts of life. She said it was a sitcom on NBC and featured a black bitch named “Tootie”.

    It was easier stayin’ tweaked, ya’ll.

    lauriekendrick

    June 24, 2007 at 7:18 am

  5. @Raincoaster: Thanks for the advice. Being as this post was a reader contribution, it was originally in .rtf. However, being a clever bagel, I copy/pasted it into notepad before putting it into wordpress’s text confusinator. I did the HTML by hand, as it’s the only way to get the pictures anywhere near where I wish them to sit. Could it be my tags? I realize that WP is comfy with only a limited number of tags. Is there a list of preferred tags somewhere?
    I’ve only been at this for a month, so I’m still learning.
    I’m gradually surrendering my control to the visual editor.

    bagel of everything

    June 24, 2007 at 1:17 pm

  6. Maybe it should be “Diff’rent Strokes up in Bachman Industries Smoke Fluid”.

    As a recovering Model Railroad Addict (17 years, 3 months clean), I can empathize with Arnold. Seeing a landscaped, multi-trans HO scale layout makes me jittery to this day. First, he has to admit he has a problem…

    Soylent Ape

    June 25, 2007 at 12:29 am

  7. [...] Related post: Diff’rent Stokes up in Crack Smoke [...]

  8. No deposit – no mortgage no more credit crunch!

    BRIDGING

    December 20, 2009 at 1:18 pm


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